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“She pooped on the fox!” I exclaimed. “Get the backup fox!”
“We have a backup fox?” Damien’s brows furrowed.
“Of course, there’s a backup fox, Damien! I own a company built on emotional collapse. I plan for chaos!”
I removed Daisy’s dress, cleaned her up, and changed her diaper. I stood up, crossed my arms, and watched as she flailed dramatically, like she was saying a big fuck you to us for making her do this.
“This is a disaster.” Damien hooked his arm around me.
“But it’s our disaster.” I smiled, laying my head on his shoulder.
“Man, I’m sweating,” he said.
“Nah. You’re glowing like a man covered in regret.”
He pointed his phone down at Daisy and started snapping pictures—pictures that were crooked, partially blurry, and full of chaos, but they were ours, and they were perfect.
“Post them,” I said.
“What should I say?” he asked.
“Caption it,Baby Photo Shoot. A.K.A. The Breakdown. One month in, still alive, totally smitten with our little dictator.”
ChapterThirty-Five
Willa
My doctor gave me the six-week sex clearance today, and I couldn’t have been happier. I knew Damien had been counting down the days, the hours, the minutes, the seconds. Now, we needed Daisy to sleep while we took back our sex lives.
I had just showered—a full-blown shower, with legs and other parts shaved and fully moisturized. It was a rare and magical event. Damien had been texting me all day.
We’re still on for tonight, right?
Yes. Bring your A-game, Blackwood.
“I just pushed a three p.m. investor call to tomorrow. Priorities.
Please tell me you didn’t tell Christine why?
I told her I had a personal engagement, which is technically true. Because I plan to engage you repeatedly.
Okay, wow. Is this the dirty-talking billionaire I married?
He’s back, baby!
I’m wearing pants today with a glittery milk stain on them. So, lower your expectations, sir.
I’ve never been more turned on.
You’re a feral animal.
You have no idea, babe. I’ve prepped a ‘welcome back to the bedroom’ playlist for two weeks, and I even got Daisy to sign a peace treaty.
If she sleeps during it, I’ll believe in miracles.
I’ll bribe our night nurse with stock options if she doesn’t. I need this.
You’re acting like we haven’t had sex in years.