Page 68
Story: Accidental Vampire
“Aww, poor baby, that looked like it hurt,” said Mr. Blonde. And thank you Tarantino for giving an entire generation a blueprint for snarky nicknames.
“She looks like the kind of snack that likes it when it hurts,” Mr. Blue added.
“Listen, Fric and Frac,” I tried to stifle grunts as I moved my legs under me, “I’m a little busy here.” Yeah, busy recovering from a terminal case of stupid.
“Good thing we’ve got all the time in the world,” Mr. Blue said as he squatted down to get to eye level with me. “You’re in a hunting ground, little girl. Anything in the outer boroughs is fair game.” He said “thing” with a lascivious roll of his tongue.
“Mm hm, yeah, like I said, I’m a little busy.” Sass was a character flaw. My mother always said my smart mouth was going to get me killed, she might get her wish.
Ignoring them might buy me some time. Time for what though? It’s not like I could run away.
There are worse things that could happen to a vampire.
Great, Shaw, get the fuck out of my head.
Another figure stepped out of the shadows. This was a party now and I sure as hell hoped no one was going to smack me open like a pinata. He had his head down. Blond and Blue stood and turned toward him. I scrambled back, my left leg still not working at all, but I managed to haul myself to my feet on an abandoned trash can for a whole two seconds before crashing to the ground again. I was fine, really, just peachy.
“Legate! My man! We heard you were out slumming it. Didn’t think we’d find you out in the badlands though.” Mr. Blond seems thrilled at the new arrival. Mr. Blue looked over his shoulder at me. He was either checking to make sure I was still there or still injured. Hard to tell. I should just scream for help. Do vamp voices carry better?
“You wanna have some fun?” Mr. Blond tossed his head towards me. Great. Just great.
He stepped through a puddle of flickering light cast by a yellowed security lamp. He picked up his head.
It was Lachlan.
Relief washed over me in warm waves, chasing the icy sting of pain. He looked pensive and broody, like a proper vampire. I stifled a giggle. Jesus, I was losing it. He pushed up his sleeves, his watch catching the dim light. I tried to stand again, but it was a no go. That knocked out my case of the giggles.
Fric and Frac turned at my series of grunts. Lachlan saw me. His eyes went wide for a half second and then narrowed. Fuck. I had basically told him to fuck off and die. Maybe he wasn’t going to white knight this shit. And I fucking needed a white knight. I was proud, and reckless but I wasn’t fucking dumb.
They turned back to Lachlan as if I didn’t matter. Well, I didn’t, but I didn’t know if that would help or hinder me right now.
“So, is there some underground rave out here or something? The Molly scene above 57th has pretty much died,” Blond said, rubbing his hands together in a poor imitation of a comic book villain.
Seemingly bored, Lachlan checked his phone.”Well, you know, fuckboys gotta fuck.”
I snorted out loud at that and promptly regretted it. Blond gave me an ominous glance.
“How about a game of tag with this one? She’s not pledged or anything, I bet. Outcast maybe?”
Lachlan sauntered toward me. It was an actual god damn saunter. If I wasn’t facing down two assholes who wanted toplaywith me, my ovaries would be screaming for attention. There was a level of power and confidence in that walk that I’m not sure I’d ever seen before. I wanted to wipe my mouth to make sure I wasn’t drooling. Or that could be the nausea talking.
He crouched down and regarded me. His eyes bright in the gloom. I swallowed hard. He wasn’t acting like he even knew me, let alone was the one who made me a vampire, who had a claim to me. Fear started bleeding in from the edges of my awareness. What… what if I had this all wrong?
“You want her?” Lachlan asked, not taking his eyes off me or giving me any hint at his thoughts.
“Yeah,” Blond said, nudging his buddy. Lachlan stood and put his hands in his pockets. “We could share, you know.”
“You broke her legs, Carmine?”
Carmine, yup totally fit. That was an asshole name for sure.
“Nah, man, it’s not like that. Though, next time I play tag...” The two snickered with the delightful possibilities of it all.
“I’m taking her.”
Right then and there, 27 years of being a feminist died as every cell in my body wanted to be fucked by this man right this very second. It was like a slutty fucktoy switch got flipped. So, completely inappropriate for the situation. I panted, tried to pull my legs under me. The only thing stopping me from crawling across the pavement to rip off Lachlan’s clothes was two broken legs. I bet I could manage it if I didn’t have an audience consisting of two jerks that wanted to eat me.
Lachlan flashed me a smile that just about killed me, his fang biting into his lower lip. We connected for a long moment. I was pretty sure even the earth stopped spinning. Then he turned and faced them.
“She looks like the kind of snack that likes it when it hurts,” Mr. Blue added.
“Listen, Fric and Frac,” I tried to stifle grunts as I moved my legs under me, “I’m a little busy here.” Yeah, busy recovering from a terminal case of stupid.
“Good thing we’ve got all the time in the world,” Mr. Blue said as he squatted down to get to eye level with me. “You’re in a hunting ground, little girl. Anything in the outer boroughs is fair game.” He said “thing” with a lascivious roll of his tongue.
“Mm hm, yeah, like I said, I’m a little busy.” Sass was a character flaw. My mother always said my smart mouth was going to get me killed, she might get her wish.
Ignoring them might buy me some time. Time for what though? It’s not like I could run away.
There are worse things that could happen to a vampire.
Great, Shaw, get the fuck out of my head.
Another figure stepped out of the shadows. This was a party now and I sure as hell hoped no one was going to smack me open like a pinata. He had his head down. Blond and Blue stood and turned toward him. I scrambled back, my left leg still not working at all, but I managed to haul myself to my feet on an abandoned trash can for a whole two seconds before crashing to the ground again. I was fine, really, just peachy.
“Legate! My man! We heard you were out slumming it. Didn’t think we’d find you out in the badlands though.” Mr. Blond seems thrilled at the new arrival. Mr. Blue looked over his shoulder at me. He was either checking to make sure I was still there or still injured. Hard to tell. I should just scream for help. Do vamp voices carry better?
“You wanna have some fun?” Mr. Blond tossed his head towards me. Great. Just great.
He stepped through a puddle of flickering light cast by a yellowed security lamp. He picked up his head.
It was Lachlan.
Relief washed over me in warm waves, chasing the icy sting of pain. He looked pensive and broody, like a proper vampire. I stifled a giggle. Jesus, I was losing it. He pushed up his sleeves, his watch catching the dim light. I tried to stand again, but it was a no go. That knocked out my case of the giggles.
Fric and Frac turned at my series of grunts. Lachlan saw me. His eyes went wide for a half second and then narrowed. Fuck. I had basically told him to fuck off and die. Maybe he wasn’t going to white knight this shit. And I fucking needed a white knight. I was proud, and reckless but I wasn’t fucking dumb.
They turned back to Lachlan as if I didn’t matter. Well, I didn’t, but I didn’t know if that would help or hinder me right now.
“So, is there some underground rave out here or something? The Molly scene above 57th has pretty much died,” Blond said, rubbing his hands together in a poor imitation of a comic book villain.
Seemingly bored, Lachlan checked his phone.”Well, you know, fuckboys gotta fuck.”
I snorted out loud at that and promptly regretted it. Blond gave me an ominous glance.
“How about a game of tag with this one? She’s not pledged or anything, I bet. Outcast maybe?”
Lachlan sauntered toward me. It was an actual god damn saunter. If I wasn’t facing down two assholes who wanted toplaywith me, my ovaries would be screaming for attention. There was a level of power and confidence in that walk that I’m not sure I’d ever seen before. I wanted to wipe my mouth to make sure I wasn’t drooling. Or that could be the nausea talking.
He crouched down and regarded me. His eyes bright in the gloom. I swallowed hard. He wasn’t acting like he even knew me, let alone was the one who made me a vampire, who had a claim to me. Fear started bleeding in from the edges of my awareness. What… what if I had this all wrong?
“You want her?” Lachlan asked, not taking his eyes off me or giving me any hint at his thoughts.
“Yeah,” Blond said, nudging his buddy. Lachlan stood and put his hands in his pockets. “We could share, you know.”
“You broke her legs, Carmine?”
Carmine, yup totally fit. That was an asshole name for sure.
“Nah, man, it’s not like that. Though, next time I play tag...” The two snickered with the delightful possibilities of it all.
“I’m taking her.”
Right then and there, 27 years of being a feminist died as every cell in my body wanted to be fucked by this man right this very second. It was like a slutty fucktoy switch got flipped. So, completely inappropriate for the situation. I panted, tried to pull my legs under me. The only thing stopping me from crawling across the pavement to rip off Lachlan’s clothes was two broken legs. I bet I could manage it if I didn’t have an audience consisting of two jerks that wanted to eat me.
Lachlan flashed me a smile that just about killed me, his fang biting into his lower lip. We connected for a long moment. I was pretty sure even the earth stopped spinning. Then he turned and faced them.
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