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“And I’m sure I will deserve every needle you poke into my voodoo doll. Are you done pretending to not want to help me?”

“If it helps me get back to sleep sooner, yes. What’s up?”

“I slept with Audrey.”

“Yes, I know. In my bed.”

“No. A few hours ago. In my bed.”

Max throws up her hands. “And? Did you come here to brag about getting laid?”

“I don’t do that.”

She sighs. “I don’t even have the energy. You talk, I’ll listen. Go.”

I fill her in as quickly and succinctly as possible.

“So, you think she’s sending you mixed signals,” Max says.

“Maybe? Or maybe not. She doesn’t want to rush into a relationship, but she wants to have sex, but she wants to keep it a secret. Are those mixed signals or all kinda the same?”

“And instead of talking to her when you had the chance, you decided to wake me up and ask me to read her mind. Sounds about right.”

“Well, when you put it like that,” I say. I lie back on the bed and stare at the ceiling. “I’ve never been in a relationship and you have so I thought you’d know what I should do.”

“Toni, I’ve been in five relationships in ten years. That’s hardly a good track record for giving advice.”

“Who else am I going to talk to? Greta? I don’t think she’s been on a date since she went to work at the company.”

“Audrey. You should have talked to Audrey.”

“I don’t want to be the one who’s always, Hey let’s have a deep conversation about our pseudo relationship, because I could absolutely go there very easily. We’d just had amazing sex. I didn’t want to ruin it.”

“You mean you don’t want to jeopardize tonight’s great sex.”

God, I hate it when Max reads me so easily. “Fuck you,” I say. “I want more than she does, I know that.”

“Were you lying when you said you’d take it slow?”

“No, of course not. But I don’t think keeping it a secret from our family?—”

“Your family.”

“—my family, means we’re rushing things.”

“You know what solves all these problems? Communication.”

“So, you’re saying I should talk to her.”

“Yes, Toni. Jesus, I can’t believe you woke me up for this. Go away.”

“You don’t want to snuggle?”

“Go snuggle with Audrey.”

“She’s not a snuggler.”

“That’s a you problem, not a me problem.”