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“Even though we’re moving you into the dorms,” I reassure her, “you’ll still stay at your apartment tonight.” This was a special request from Hyemi’s father, who wanted to spend time with hisyoungest before she was completely immersed in her hectic debut schedule.

She nods, though her gaze remains out the window.

We arrive at the apartment building, each of us rolling one of Hyemi’s suitcases into the elevator, and press the button for the fifth floor. As we approach the door to the apartment, the sounds of shouting come from within. Secretary Park and I exchange glances. She keys in the code, opening the door to...

Chaos.

It’s as if the clothing and accessories floors of a department store exploded over the room, with haphazard piles of clothing covering most pieces of furniture, plus multiple standing racks packed with jackets, dresses, skirts, and hoodies. Not to mention the massive amounts of shoes crammed into shoe organizers at the entrance. This could have beenmyliving situation. I shudder at the thought.

The ASAP members all stand and bow as we enter, but once Secretary Park acknowledges them, they resume their individual activities. The shouting is from the girls playing a video game on a large television set. One member, dressed in a bathrobe with bunny ears, is playing some sort of tennis game with another member who’s in oversized pajamas, both of them swinging their arms recklessly through the air. They almost step on another member who’s painting her toenails at their feet. Her scream startles Secretary Park. The second youngest member—Jiyoo—is sitting cocooned on the couch between two clothing piles, crocheting what looks like a carrot with a face.

It’s not dirty, just very cluttered. But maybe I shouldn’t speak too soon. I haven’t seen the bathroom.

Sun Ye walks out of the leftmost room, and Hyemi yelps. An LED mask covers her entire face, giving her the appearance of a pink Iron Man.

“Oh, Hyemi-yah, you’re here,” she says. She doesn’t take off the mask. “The biggest room is a triple,” she says, pointing to the room across from the kitchen. “But you’re in the double with Jiyoo. Come, I’ll show you.” She heads to the room next to hers and across from the bathroom.

“I’m going... to...” Secretary Park edges toward the kitchen. Is that sweat on her brow? “Do... the dishes.”

Hyemi and I manage to follow Sun Ye around the fire hazards and into the room.

“I’m sorry all of my stuff is everywhere,” Jiyoo says, having followed us inside. She starts to move her clothing off Hyemi’s bed, throwing them onto her unmade one. “If there’s anything you need to move, feel free to toss it here.”

The room is small, but rather spacious for two people. In between the beds are two desks, side-by-side, facing a window that allows in natural light. Hyemi and Jiyoo are still in school, which is probably why they’ve been accorded a bit more space.

“If you ever need some peace or quiet, please come into my room,” Sun Ye says. She has the only single.

Once Sun Ye leaves to finish up her skincare routine, Hyemi and I start to unpack her belongings.

“Do you need help?” Jiyoo asks, hovering over us.

“Thank you, Jiyoo-yah,” I say, handing her Hyemi’s toiletry bag. “Can you put this in the bathroom?”

Jiyoo, looking like I’ve given her a live grenade, nods bravely, heading off to the bathroom in search of an available space. I figured Hyemi might be too shy to ask the older members to move their stuff around, but Jiyoo, who’s been the maknae of the four girls from Dream for a while now, will feel more comfortable making room for Hyemi.

We manage to unpack two of her suitcases in a little over an hour, shoving her third—filled with her fall and winter clothes—beneath her bed, as well as organizing her side of the room.

“You’re lucky, Hyemi-yah,” Jiyoo says. “My family is in Gyeongju, so I had to move in by myself. You must be happy to have Sori-seonbae helping you.” I study Jiyoo’s face, but she doesn’t appear jealous so much as wistful.

“I’m very grateful,” Hyemi says softly.

In the time we’ve been unpacking, Secretary Park has cleaned the kitchen and cooked a meal of spicy cold noodles with kimchi. Unearthing a low wooden table, she lays out the meal with the help of the other members who’ve put away their video game and even folded some of the laundry and vacuumed. We gather in the living room, enjoying our meal while seated on the floor around the table. The members chatter away about the music video shoot, about their costumes, and what jobs each member was chosen to portray. I notice Hyemi doesn’t interact as much with the others, picking at her bowl of noodles.

She’d been so excited to join ASAP that I wonder if somethinghappened. Sun Ye had assured me that none of the girls were giving her a hard time, but maybe, as the oldest, she missed some of the dynamics between the younger members.

I broach the subject once we’re in the van headed back to her father’s apartment. “Hyemi, is something the matter? I noticed you were quiet with the other girls.”

At first, I don’t think she’ll respond, her shoulders hunched forward, but then she says in a quiet voice, “I don’t know why I feel this way. Everyone is so nice. It’s just that... they’ve been together for so much longer. They have inside jokes, and they’re comfortable with one another, teasing and laughing. I feel like I’m an intruder, like I don’t belong, like I’m too late.”

Her words strike a chord with me. That’s howIfelt, back in high school, like everyone had already formed their group of friends, and if there was ever a chance to join one, I’d missed it.

“I’ve felt the same way,” I tell her. “For most of middle school and high school, I didn’thaveanyfriends. I used to blame it on my classmates. I don’t think I was wrong to believe that some of themwereonly friends with me because of who my parents were. But after a while, I pushed everyone away, even people who could have been genuine friends. I gained a reputation as someone stuck up, who thought she was better than everyone else.” For a long time, I thought that was fine because it protected me from disappointment and hurt, but all it did was emphasize how alone I was.

“It wasn’t until I got a new roommate that my high school life changed. Eventually we became best friends, but we started offas enemies. She accidentally read one of my private letters and I mistakenly believed she’d done it on purpose.”

Hyemi appropriately gasps. The letter had been a postcard that Nathaniel had sent me when we were dating. He’d ended it with,Chin up, Songbird.You will always have my heart. XOXO.He’d mailed it to me when he was in Los Angeles, after I’d called him in tears over an incident that happened at school—one of my classmates had filled my locker with soap bubbles.

“But then Jenny kept reaching out to me in both subtle and sometimes over-the-top ways. If it wasn’t for hertrying, again and again, we might not have become friends. Now, I couldn’t imagine my life without her.”