Page 54

“It’s not a crime to.”

It was there, goes unsaid but she hears me all the same.

“You don’t wish to find a new way to live. I accept that. Despite your resistance, I believe we are friends.” She heaves a dramatic sigh. “Friends help each other.”

Becoming friends with anyone is the last thing on my list of goals. However, Alyvia is offering me something not many people would. Acceptance for my choice to die and willingness to aid me in my journey. I would be a fool to ignore my needs to spite my face by telling her I don’t have friends. “I am not a good friend to have. I don’t know anything about being friends with others. I was never allowed to have meaningful people in my life. If you can accept that, then yes, I would appreciate the help.”

Alyvia smiles at me. “It’s okay, Keres. You can be yourself. But as a friend, I have a question to ask you that might seem invasive.”

Of course she does. Sighing, I motion with my hand for her to get on with it.

“Why are you wearing the same mark as Lord Rowan?”

Absolutely in no terms am I going to be bringing the tidbit of knowledge we had sex to the light of day. “Pretend it’s not there.”

“In other words you don’t want to talk about it.”

“Precisely.”

“Fair enough.” She eyes the tattoo on the side of my face. “It’s very obvious.”

“It will move when it wants to.” I’m tempted to give the damn thing a name considering it seems to be alive even if it is just a magical tattoo.

Alyvia blinks several times. “It will move?”

I sigh and lean back on my hands. “Yes, it moves. I don’t understand how it’s on me. I refuse to talk to Rowan right now, so asking is out of the question. So we’re going to pretend it’s not there, okay?”

“Alright.”

Deciding to change the subject to a better topic, I ask, “How do you plan on helping me?”

“Lord Rowan isn’t the only person with access to a library. It’s not his private one, anyway. We could make a day trip to Bone City and gather materials to study and see what comes of it. Worst case, we have to go back and find new books. I know you said having multiple souls is common in Tellus, but I don’t know of anyone having such a thing occur here. That doesn’t mean there aren’t written accounts of it, however. Someone somewhere figured out a host could hold more than one soul. Surely there’s documentation we can use to aid you.”

“You don’t think Rowan has all the books we need in his study?”

“I’m sure he has some.” Alyvia smirks at me and nudges her foot into mine. “You can always sneak in his library again if need be.” When I give her an affronted look she begins laughing. “Lord Rowan was not pleased at all when you did that.”

“He has a problem with everything I do.”

Alyvia bobs her head in agreement, surprising me.

“You agree?”

“Something about you riles him. I think because you march your own way instead of simply abiding by his wishes. Even though it frustrates him, I don’t think he actually minds as much as he claims. He had Zeke forewarn the staff you would probably end up on the excursion with them and it would be fine. A lot of staff were surprised he seemed tolerable about your constant push against his word. We also think it’s hilarious.”

“Because I might give him an aneurysm?” I quip.

“Lord Rowan needs someone to balance out his strict demeanor.”

I narrow my eyes at her comment. “Nothing is going on between Rowan and me.” Nothing I wish to discuss anyway.

“It’s not like that,” Alyvia explains. “He’s a very secular being. You bring out sides to him we don’t see often and it makes us happy. We understand there is no romance occurring.”

Anymore, my mind chimes in. “Absolutely not. That would complicate my end goal.”

Alyvia nods. “Yes, it would. That's why the staff knows nothing salacious is going on. We merely find it amusing.”

As long as no one suspects anything more is going on like having our emotions become involved. Rowan and I slept together, sure, but it doesn’t mean anything. We were overtaken with the Haze, nothing more. I doubt attraction truly counts when in the Wraithlands during the Haze.