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Alyvia is beside me instantly, dabbing a towel under my nose where it’s bleeding. She gives me a worried, watery smile. “You might just hold this to your face,” she advises.

“Thanks.” I prop the sword against the cabinet next to me and tilt my chin down, holding the cloth to my face as I wait for the blood to clot and stop flowing. Still, I lock eyes with Zeke.

“Interesting,” Zeke murmurs. His reptilian gaze swings from my sword to my face. “You can call upon attributes associated with your souls. What else can you do?”

As if I’m dumb enough to tell him even when I don't know. “None of your business.”

Nox appears from the other opening in the kitchen, glowering at me. “Stop whatever it is you’re doing to the fucking veil.”

Everyone’s attention turns to him.

I tap my chest to clarify he’s speaking to me even though he’s glaring daggers. “Me? What did I do?”

Nox’s gaze tears to my sword where he points. “Every time you call on your magic, you rip the veil. Control yourself.”

My body relaxes on a sigh. Not this again. “I already told you, I don’t have any magic.” Whatever it is that’s happening to me, it’s not something I can control. Perhaps Lady Gwenyth is trying to activate the soul who uses the sword and it’s having an effect on me across the sea without taking control of my mind.

“Not according to the veil you keep shredding. I thought it would be a one off since your sword is here.” Nox waves his arm in my direction with disdain. “Clearly it’s being affected by you, not your bloody sword. Keep your emotions in check, you’ll get everything sorted out as soon as Lord Rowan arrives.”

Why does everyone keep reacting as though I want to be here speaking with their self imposed king? My life should have ended last night, yet here I am, on a journey I want no part of simply to find peace. It’s not my fault this is the way things work in their world. Across the sea everything seems a hell of a lot easier when a mortal chooses to die.

I tilt my head back in annoyance, slamming the back of my head into the wall while I glare at the ornate ceiling. No matter what I tell myself, it seems this won’t be as easy as I tried to make it out to be. Perhaps this is a test to see if I truly want to be laid to rest or if some part of me wants to live on in a new way, here in Aïdes. Zeke’s words may hold some power to them after all.

“It shouldn’t be much longer,” Alyvia quietly tells me. Her gentle touch on my arm draws my head back down to look at her. “I know this is frustrating. We’ve never quite had a situation like this before, so bear with us while we navigate it with you.”

Easier said than done. Tightly, I say, “I’m trying to.” But I’m tired. So, so tired of being alone in my misery and wanting to protect others from having to endure it with me. When I think back to when I first woke up an immortal, everything was strange and new. Flashes of my previous life were few and far between. Almost as if Lady Gwenyth tampered with my mind. Maybe it was part of my punishment or maybe it happens when someone becomes an immortal. I never asked anyone else I met because it felt intrusive and rude.

Hell, I hate talking about it so why would I ask someone else about something that could be equally as painful?

Still, I remember my family. I remember killing them under Lady Gwenyth’s order, but only in my dreams. I can’t recall happy memories with them or growing up with their faces. It’s all a blur of movement and fuzzy pictures with no voices colliding in my mind with anything tangible. If only I could hold on to some part of myself prior to being an immortal, except there’s nothing but a void.

Zeke’s voice draws me out of my depressive thoughts. “What you’re seeking isn’t often sought after. You’re causing the veil to shred because you shouldn’t be on this side of the sea, yet here you are. You went in search of darkness, don’t be surprised when you find the monsters that live there come in various forms.”

As if I will ever forget the darkness I am in search of will lead me to my desires.

Alyvia shrinks from my stare, her shoulders hunching inwards as she tries to appear smaller to hide from my ire. She doesn’t repeat what she said. The words are swirling in my mind as I try to rationalize the lying, detestable people who live on this side of the realm.

My voice comes out sharp as I grind the words between my teeth, “Lord Rowan is here.” It’s not a question, she already confirmed this moments ago. It’s been days wandering endlessly around this estate with nothing to do, no ability to leave the grounds without several people rushing out to usher me back in. “He knows I’m here.” Another statement.

Alyvia chooses to answer anyway. “He does.”

“He’s known since I crossed the veil.” I shove off the wall I’m leaning against and pace the small room I’ve been using as a guest space. The sleeves of my billowing shirt rustle as I march quickly back and forth against the hardwood. “He says I need an appointment to speak with him when Zeke specifically set out to bring him here because of me?”

She nervously twirls her fingers in knots. “Yes.”

Unbelievable. “If he wants a damn appointment what was the purpose of hiding here?” I toss my arms in the air in frustration. Zeke let it slip, purposely I’m sure, that Lord Rowan was seeing to the problems of his people instead of confronting me. Instead of helping me as I was told he would. “I demand to see him.”

It’s the same thing I said moments ago when Alyvia flinched and shrunk down to half her size. She continues to wring her hands together. “I don’t make his appointments. Nox and Zeke do.”

Probably why both of those shitholes are avoiding me after Zeke’s taunting from days ago. “Take me to one of them.”

Alyvia heaves a breath before she gestures towards the door. “Zeke and Nox are both sparring in the garden.”

I take off at a brisk walk, leaving her to trail behind me. The gardens are one of the few places out of bounds to my household arrest. I’ve spotted the iron gates surrounding a patch of land from some of the windows, but nothing beyond the iron wrought fencing.

Weaving my way around bodies, I march on a mission towards where the men are hiding. Since there’s no one in the estate who will divulge Lord Rowan’s whereabouts, I guess this is the next best step. Besides, the dragon is the one who originally told me I needed an appointment to begin with, just not that it needed to be made through him.

The arrogant ass.