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‘No, not really. Only when you need something. Like with the bathroom, you knew I was in contact with him then.’

‘I knew you were in contact with the landlord,’ Holly corrected her. ‘You said he didn’t like to speak to other people.’

‘He made me promise, love.’ She looked at Holly, her eyes pleading. ‘He didn’t want you to think he was doing this because, you know, because he wanted a relationship. He was worried that if you knew it was him, that’s what you’d think and you’d end up not taking the house. I don’t know, you’re gonna hate me for saying this, but I think I made the right decision in not telling you.’

The she sat back, straightening her shoulders, at which point Holly matched her pose inch for inch, as if there was a mirror placed between the two of them.

‘I do. I think it was the right choice,’ her mother said, reinforcing her point, nodding as she spoke. ‘You and Hope have been so much better off since you moved into that cottage. Youand Ben have some space apart, Fin and Jamie have got some space. You’re more independent, you’re happier. I know you see it. Darling, tell me you won’t stay mad at me about this. I don’t want to fall out. I know I shouldn’t have lied, but you’re a mother now.’

It was a change from how her father had spoken the words ‘you’re a parent’ only a while before at the station. Then it had been an accusation, a reason not to do something. Here, it was a defending reason.

Holly picked up her wine glass, swirled it around in her nose, and then lowered it back onto the table without taking a sip.

‘I’m not going to stay mad at you for this, Mum. At least, I don’t want to. I don’t like what you did, but it ends now. All the secrecy and everything, it ends now. But I need you to know I’m still angry. And that’s not going to fade straight away.’

‘I understand love, I do.’

With her mother still waiting for her to say more, Holly plucked her phone from out of her bag and began to type a message on it.

‘What are you doing?’ her mother asked, the deep furrows of concern reappearing on her forehead.

‘What do you think I’m doing?’ Holly said. ‘I’m messaging Giles. I’ve had this talk with you; now I need to have it with him.’

57

Now that Holly had decided to contact Giles, she didn’t want to waste any more time. While her mother sipped nervously on her wine, Holly fired a message straight off.

When are you back in the UK? I’d like to meet for a drink.

She ummed and ahhed for a moment about whether she should place a kiss on the end and decided against it. Kissing Giles was something she had fastidiously avoided, even if it was just a letter in a text.

As she placed her phone back in her pocket, she looked back up to find her mother still staring at her, worry lines still on her face.

‘Honestly, love, you know I wouldn’t do anything I thought would hurt you, don’t you?’

‘Of course I know that, Mum.’

A wave of guilt rolled through Holly. Having cleared the air, she now felt bad for having laid it on so thickly. After all, her mother looked terrible, and all the relaxation of the holiday had seemingly ebbed away.

‘If there’s anything I can do…’

Holly didn’t have to think for long for a reply. ‘Actually, there is.’

‘There is?’ Her mother looked surprised by this comment.

‘Yes. You and Dad can ease off Evan. The way you were in the car was, quite frankly, embarrassingly rude.’

Her mother’s face hardened. ‘Holly, you could’ve been seriously injured.’

‘And if I had been, it would’ve been my fault. I was the one who went for a ride. Please, Mum, you can’t sit there and in one breath ask me to forgive you for only doing what you thought was best for me and not accept that I’m a grown woman who can make their own mistakes. You made mistakes. So did I.’

Holly considered telling her mother the truth about the accident – that she had been so upset over finding out about Maud and Giles and how her own mother had been hiding all those things from her. Those were the real reason she crashed. But her mother was the closest to broken Holly had ever seen her, other than her dad’s heart attack, that was. She didn’t need Holly piling more things on top of her.

‘Think of it this way,’ Holly said. ‘If you’re not willing to be pleasant to Evan, then we’ve got a lot further to go to fix this relationship than I thought.’

Holly never imagined she’d use threats of this nature with her mother, but maybe it was time she put boundaries in place. She appreciated all the help she gave her with Hope and how her father helped at the shop. But her mother seemed to have forgotten that Holly wasn’t a child any more. Holly was responsible for making her own decisions and if her mother wasn’t willing to accept that, then perhaps there were other parts of their relationship that needed addressing.

Across the table, her mother continued to pout, and for a second, Holly thought she was going to refuse, when she finally spoke.