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Holly felt as if a knife had been thrust straight between her ribs. Maud, with all the dignity and grace she possessed, wiped her cheeks with the back of her hand, sighed gently, and then picked up her lemonade for a short sip.
‘Now, don’t look at me like that,’ she said. ‘I don’t need you to look at me like that.’
Holly wasn’t exactly sure how she was looking at Maud, but if she had to guess, she would assume it was with an expression of complete devastation. She couldn’t bear it. It didn’t make sense.
‘What is it?’ Holly asked, before quickly shaking her head. ‘I didn’t mean like that. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to.’
Maud smiled gently. ‘Oh, there’s some long, complicated name that the doctors have given it, but it doesn’t really matter, does it? It’s gonna get me. That’s what really counts.’
It was like someone had taken that blade and twisted it further still. Holly’s eyes filled with tears, but she didn’t want to let them show. If Maud wasn’t crying, and she was the one that was sick, then the least Holly could do was have the dignity not to do the same. But it was hard. Harder than she’d ever known.
‘You know, doctors have to give you the worst news,’ Holly said, trying to sound as upbeat as possible. ‘It’s a thing, you know. They don’t want to get your hopes up. That’s all it is. I’m sure the odds are much better than they’ve told you.’
Once again, Maud smiled, a soft smile of gratitude, followed by another sip of her drink.
‘Oh, I think it is as bad as they tell me. I can feel it, you know. Everywhere in me now. But it’s okay. I’m okay with that.’
As Holly struggled to speak, Maud stretched her hands across the table. She felt so cold, Holly thought as she looked down at Maud’s frail fingers, where her knucklebones protruded outwards, unnaturally harsh and angular.
‘So, this is the reason you came back to Bourton?’ she asked, trying to keep her voice steady as she spoke.
‘I’ve got some things to sort out,’ Maud replied. ‘People I need to say goodbye to. People I need to give the middle finger to, too. It’s fabulous what you find the courage to do when there are no repercussions.’
At this, Holly laughed. She couldn’t imagine anything ever preventing Maud from sticking her middle finger up at someone if she wanted to, but it was good to see she still hadn’t lost her sense of humour.
‘I’m so sorry, Maud. I should’ve been more there for you. I wasn’t there with Agnes, and now?—’
‘No, no, don’t you go doing that.’ Maud’s expression changed to a firm pout. ‘Don’t you go blaming yourself for things you can’t change. You were out there living your life. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. And neither would Agnes. You know, those years back there with you in the shop, they were some of the happiest we had.’
Holly could feel her eyes welling with tears again. This time, though, she didn’t try to stifle them.
‘Me too,’ she said.
‘And maybe it was wrong of us. After all, you had your own family, bless them, but we used to think of you like a daughter. You know that. We couldn’t have one ourselves. Fate wasn’t on our side there, but we had you, and for a long while, it was all we could have hoped for. And I know Agnes isn’t here to say it, so I’ll have to do it myself, but we are ever so proud of how you’ve turned out, Holly. Ever so proud.’
It was more than Holly could take. Tears tumbled down her cheeks.
‘Maud, please, you don’t need to give up yet. You know they’re always coming up with new drug trials, new medicines. Maybe we can explore that option? Maybe we can see if you qualify for a drug trial?’
At this, Maud let out a hearty chuckle. ‘Oh, my love, they’re not gonna put an old woman like me through something like that. It’s just another shot in the dark. I’ve had a good life, a great life. Besides, I’ve missed Agnes, you know. It’s been a long while and I’m tired of missing her. And maybe this way, just maybe, we’ll get to be together again.’
For a while, they sat there, holding on to each other. At one point, the waiter came in and caught Holly’s eye. For a moment, she thought he was about to say something, something gruff, like someone else needed the table and it was time for them to leave. Instead, he glanced between the two of them and silently exited the room.
‘So, what now?’ Holly asked, when she had finally wiped away all her tears. ‘What are your plans? Are you coming back to Bourton permanently?’
Maud sniffed and straightened her posture a little.
‘Well, the plan is to head back up to Scotland. I know Agnes’s family would like to have me there. And I’d like to be with them too. But the thing is, Holly, like I said, we thought of you as adaughter. And I want to do right by you. And you know I got quite a lot of money from selling the cottage.’
Holly’s chest tightened.
‘Maud, I don’t want to talk about this. I don’t. Please, it doesn’t feel right.’
‘Well, I’m older than you, and I do want to talk about it, so you don’t have a choice. Now listen, I don’t have millions?—’
‘Maud, please, I don’t need your money, if that’s what you’re going to say. You have given me so much in life.’
‘Well, I don’t have millions. Not even close. And there’s all Agnes’s nieces and nephews, too. But the sweet shop, they didn’t get it the way you did. No one did.’
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