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There wasn’t a speck of dirt left on her feet by the time I tucked them beneath the blanket and rose. I replaced the water in the basin with fresh before returning to sit at her side. Her hands were the last to be cleaned.

I picked up her left hand, her skin still so cold. Dirt and blood smudged the top and between her fingers. I turned her hand over, drawing the towel over the shimmering, golden swirl of the marriage imprint. What if…what if she forgot this? The ceremony. Everything that it took for us to get to that moment.

I cut off those thoughts, forcing myself to move past the fear.

“So maybe that was why Vikter didn’t like me from the get-go,” I continued, washing away the blood and dirt from her palm. “What he was—a viktor—could sense what I was about.” I smiled a little. “I wonder what he thinks now? Bet he had a few choice words about me.”

I lifted her clean palm to my lips and pressed a kiss to the imprint. “But I couldn’t blame him for not having the greatest opinion of me back in Masadonia. Even if he never suspected who I was, I was there to take you away.”

Lowering her hand to my lap, I rinsed the towel and then moved on to her fingers. “And I killed those he trusted. Hannes. Rylan.” I pressed my lips together as I shifted my gaze to her features. “It could’ve been Vikter that night. If he had taken Rylan’s place for whatever reason, it would’ve been him.”

Shaking my head, I returned my attention to her hand. I cleaned the ring. “I wouldn’t have cared then. I mean, I didn’t like ending the lives of good men, but it would’ve been a passing regret. Little to no guilt. I had a goal. That was all that mattered, and I…”

I sighed, placing her hand on her stomach as I moved on to her right. “I didn’t know you yet. I hadn’t even heard you speak, and I seriously thought you were this submissive creature who only spoke in whispers.” I laughed for real. “Or that you were a cohort in the Ascended’s plans. Gods, I couldn’t have been more wrong if I tried.”

The grime was far more stubborn on her right hand. “That’s the thing. I had all these preconceived notions about you—ones based on absolutely nothing. Because no one really talked about you. I think I just…well, I needed you to either be the enemy or weak. It made everything I planned to do easier.” I frowned. “Which actually makes me the weak one.”

If Poppy were awake, she would likely agree with that moment of self-realization.

I dragged the cloth between her fingers, oddly moved by how fragile her hand felt in mine, despite knowing how deadly it could be.

Looks could be deceiving, couldn’t they?

“But I was about to begin learning just how wrong I was about you,” I told her. “Because I was about to finally meet you, and you…” I looked at her still, serene features. “You were about to meet who I used to be.”

WHO I WAS

“The Maiden’s guards are good men.”

I lifted my gaze from the glass of whiskey I held to the man standing by the empty fireplace. “Good men die all the time.”

“True,” Griffith Jansen, the Commander of the Royal Guard, replied. He’d been in Solis longer than most Atlantians could tolerate, managing to keep his true identity hidden. He was the only reason my men were now firmly rooted in the Royal Army, serving both at the Rise and in the city. But he would be killed or worse if anyone ever learned where Jansen’s loyalties lay or what he was. “But far too few good men are left in Solis.”

“That, we can agree on.” I watched Jansen for several moments. “Is one less good man going to be a problem?”

His gaze met mine. “If it was a problem, I wouldn’t be here. I’m just saying it will be a shame to lose one of them.”

“Shame or not, I need to get close to her.” I took a drink of whiskey. The smoky liquor went down far smoother than any other spirit this miserable land had to offer. “Being on the Rise won’t help me. You know that. You also understand what is at stake here.” My head tilted. “And since there’s no current opening in those who guard her, we need to make one.”

“I do understand.” Jansen dragged a hand over his head, his shoulders tight under the plain brown tunic he wore. “That doesn’t mean I have to like what must be done.”

I smiled faintly at his response. “If you did, then you would be of better use to the Ascended since they enjoy pain and senseless death.”