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“We won’t be interrupted,” she said as her fingers trailed over my navel.

My body reacted, muscles tensing as I watched her hand through half-open eyes. Based on how much sunlight was coming through the gap in the drapes, I knew I had time before I was due to guard Penellaphe. She was likely still engaged with her prayers and breakfast, though I wasn’t quite sure that was what she did in the mornings. But that was neither here nor there because Britta was here, and I hadn’t found release outside my own hand in…shit, it had been a while.

My cock throbbed with need, something I was sure Britta was well aware of, because she hadn’t taken her gaze off the outline of my dick since she first looked. The almost painful hardness had nothing to do with her presence, though. Most mornings, I woke up with a godsdamn hard-on, but this morning? Today, there had been a reason. I lifted my gaze to the blond curls. The cause of my current arousal had hair the color of rich red wine.

Fuck.

But that was no reason to stop this. Britta was fun. I remembered that. And she liked to have fun with many. I knew that, too. There were no attachments here. No complications. We could fuck, find pleasure, and be on our merry ways.

There was absolutely nothing wrong with that.

Britta’s hand slipped under the sheet, her fingers mere inches—if that—from my cock—

I reached down, grasping her slim wrist.

Britta’s wide eyes flew to mine.

“Sorry,” I said, gently but firmly pulling her hand out from under the sheet.

“Oh,” she whispered, blinking. “I thought—”

“It’s okay. Just not the right time,” I cut her off as my dick demanded to know exactly when the right time would be. Fuck if I knew.

She dropped her hand to her lap, where her white cap lay as her gaze flicked down and then returned to mine. “You sure about that?”

“Positive.” Tossing the sheet aside, I swung my legs off the other side of the bed and rose. “I need to get ready for the day.”

Britta stood, her gaze tracking my steps as I crossed the chamber. “Would you like me to come back later?” A pause. “To clean your chambers?”

As I opened the door to my bathing chamber, I had a feeling that cleaning my chambers was code for riding my dick. I stopped, looking over my shoulder at her. She wasn’t looking at my face. Her stare was glued to my cock. “That will not be necessary.”

Not waiting for a response, I closed the door and turned on the oil lamp. Clasping the edges of the vanity, I stared at my reflection in the oval mirror, somewhat shocked with myself—stunned that I had walked away from easy, uncomplicated pleasure.

“What the fuck?” I muttered.

There was no answer as golden eyes stared back at me. I recognized my features, but I had no idea who I was…who I was becoming.

PRESENT VI

“I really hope you don’t remember much of that last part when you wake,” I said, tracing the tendons of her hand.

“Out of everything you’ve told her, Britta in your bedchamber will be the one thing she’ll definitely remember,” Kieran said with a laugh. “She’ll probably want to do some damage to that cock you keep speaking of.”

Chuckling, I looked over to where Kieran sat on Poppy’s other side. “Nah, I think she’s far too interested in having my cock pierced for that.”

Kieran arched a brow. “I would pay an insurmountable amount of coin to witness you allowing someone to pierce your dick.”

“It has to be fucking painful.” I grinned. “But worth it.”

“Don’t know about that last part, and I feel like I need to spend some time talking you out of this.”

Another laugh left me as I dipped my head, kissing Poppy’s shoulder. “I only thought of the bit with Britta because it really threw me that I wasn’t down for it.”

“You were down for it,” Kieran remarked. “Just not with her.”

“Yeah.” I shifted, rising slightly on my elbow. The thick fringe of Poppy’s lashes didn’t flutter as I scanned her features. “Do you think the shadows under her eyes have lessened?”

“A little.” He leaned over and brushed a stray wave off her cheek. “I really think so.”

“That’s good.” I swallowed.

“It’s mind-blowing what she did for you that night. What she was capable of before all of this,” Kieran said, his brows furrowing. “She gave you real peace with just a touch of her hand without even knowing what plagued you.”

“I know.” My damn chest ached with the intensity of emotion swelling there. “She did it out of kindness—something she didn’t have to show me, especially when I was striving to be an utter irritation to her.”

“Yeah, but I think she liked that kind of irritation even then.”

A smile surfaced as I nodded. “She couldn’t resist my charm.”