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“Why are you here again?” he asked, sounding very confused by the whole thing.

That made two of us. “They’re removing asbestos from our basement.”

“You don’t need to remove asbestos,” Dad said with a very thorough and very confident older man scoff. “Every house has it.”

“I don’t think they do. Not anymore. They say it gives you cancer.”

“Everything gives you cancer.”

Help me.

“I don’t think that’s true either.” I set my bag down. “Am I staying in my old room?”

Nancy bit her bottom lip. “Well…” She looked to my father for help.

“That room is off-limits. You can stay in the den.”

“The den? There are five bedrooms!”

“We’re using them all. Just stay downstairs.”

“Using them for what?”

Okay, that was a dangerous question to ask, but it just came out before I could stop it.

Nancy looked embarrassed and guilty.

My father looked like he was about to hand down a it’s-none-of-your-business speech.

This was fun.

“Fine. I’ll stay in the den. Thanks for letting me stay here.” I had half a mind to snoop around upstairs after they went to bed but I was afraid of getting caught. I was also afraid of what I might find.

I also was afraid to think about the fact that my dad and Nancy were going to bed together.

Sure, I knew that in theory, but seeing it for myself was another thing altogether.

I might have to call my sister on the way to work tomorrow and spill the tea. This also messed up my plan to have my sister stay here when she came to town. There was no way I was subjecting my nieces and nephew to this nonsense. I hadn’t even encountered the corn sign yet for myself.

“Put your bag down and come into the kitchen and have a drink with us,” my dad said.

Everything in my father’s life came with a drink.

“I got one of those shark coochie boards,” Nancy said. “Your dad said you like those.”

I blinked.

It took me a second to even grasp what she meant and then I wasn’t sure if she was being serious or making a joke so I just smiled. “Oh, wow, that was thoughtful.” I eyed my father. “I’ll take a glass of wine.”

I needed one to get through this social hour.

Unfortunately, Nancy didn’t eat any of her shark coochie board and drank four glasses of wine faster than I had ever seen anyone ever. At which point she blurted out that she and my father had turned my old bedroom into a “playroom” and not for kids.

I choked on an almond and saw my life flash before my eyes before my dad whomped me on the back and dislodged the nut.

“Holy crap,” I managed, sucking down half a glass of water.

“Spicy?” Nancy asked, her words slurring.