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I love you.

The thought flickers through my mind, the words so clear, so final.

I open my mouth again, but the world is slipping away.

I love you.

Chapter 27

Corm

The double door springs open, and I glimpse familiar faces and stop my pacing.

Cal and his wife barrel in. Their shoes squeak obscenely on the linoleum floor, adding another atrocity to the disinfectant-infused air and my overall agony.

The harsh fluorescent light casts a menacing look on my business partner’s face, but as he gets closer, the look remains.

It’s full of fury, worry, and helplessness. It mirrors the turmoil swirling inside me.

Cal’s expression hardens as he takes in my blood-stained shirt. His nostrils flare, and he clenches his fists. It does shit for his composure, because he still launches at me.

Gripping my collar, he pushes me against the wall. “You fucking use my sister, and then you can’t protect her?”

I push him off, but secretly, I want him to punch me. Not to give me an excuse to return the hit, but to finally feel some other pain. Physical pain is so much easier to deal with.

“Really?” I smirk. “She was shot by a man who had been taking advantage of her for years. Where the fuck were you all that time?”

“Merde.” Cal’s wife puts her hand on his shoulder. It’s a tender touch followed by stern words. “Stop it right now, you idiots.” She looks at me. “Where is she? What’s the status?”

Her hand on his shoulder has an immediate effect. He’s still vibrating with anger and worry, but he exhales heavily.

Something I haven’t been able to do for the past two hours. I fucking hate him for having that level of comfort. For having his person beside him.

Accusing Cal of anything is a shitty thing to do, but I want to do shitty things right now.

I want to kill someone—Vito, in the first place—and punish someone for what happened to Saar tonight. And all the years before tonight.

I want to take my anger out on someone because I’m a coward. Because it’s easier to throw punches than to look in the mirror and accept that it’s all my fault.

I should have prevented that.

If only I had stepped in front of her faster. If only I had increased the security after Vito disappeared. If only we had come home earlier. Theif onlyshave been eating me alive.

“She is in surgery. One bullet grazed her head. The other one ended in her arm. They are taking it out right now.”

Cal rakes his hair and swears. Celeste takes a fortifying breath, tears pooling in her eyes as she rubs her pregnant belly.

“Okay,” she says. “Cal, send someone to get a clean shirt for him. I’m going to call Lily and Cora.” She goes into action mode, like that can make the situation better. She turns to me. “Is your brother on his way?”

I stare at her blankly, and she rolls her eyes.

“Cal,” she snaps, and he pulls his phone out.

On some level, I guess doing something, any nonsensical thing, keeps the mind occupied. But I can’t deal with people right now.

I resume my pacing. In the next half hour, Roxy arrives with clean clothes for me. Someone shoves a coffee into my hand. Saar’s other brother, Finn, and his wife show up.

And then the friends, Cora and Lily, I think. I remember them from Cal’s vows renewal last Christmas.