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Amelia
I’ve worn many masks in my life, but ‘devoted girlfriend’ is proving to be the most suffocating of them all. And I should leave this apartment now, but I’m no longer going to pretend that he isn’t cheating on me.
I thought he loved me. He’s never told me, but he bought me nice things, took me to fancy restaurants, and showered me with attention.
What is love supposed to look like?
It cannot be like this.
I want to scream as I pull at the necklace around my neck, the one he bought me. I snap the chain, letting it and the heart drop on the floor.
At least, my cheating boyfriend fucked my best friend in the spare bedroom.
Small blessings.
Why did I think he loved me? I don’t know.
Come to think of it, only my parents gave me any genuine love.
Though I’m no better, I never loved Felix when I moved into his apartment. Back then, I was desperate for a home, not love. After a year of couch surfing, I jumped at the opportunity to live with him.
I see it now. We were a transaction. Each party got what they wanted without ever connecting.
And now, as I hear him in the next room of this sleek high-rise apartment in Manhattan, I’m struck by a cold realization. My life as I know it will change once again.
But I can’t stay here at the expense of my self-respect. Not again…
Because I never expected to come home from a work event to find him sleeping in the bed with her.
One of my best friends.
I’m not upset like I thought I would be. There are no tears coating my eyes, but bile rises in my throat as the truth hits me like a hard slap on my cheek.
He doesn’t love me, and he never has.
I’ve been too blind, too desperate for someone to want me to see it.
A lump forms in my throat as I realize how much time I’ve wasted. All this time I’ve spent with him, convincing myself that the material comforts he gives me can fill the void in my heart.
But they can’t—nothing can.
When I stand up, my legs are shaky. But I walk to the floor-to-ceiling windows and look out at the glittering city that sprawls out before me.
New York was once the place I sought safety. A place full of possibilities.
Now I feel trapped, scared to walk away from what I have—but I have to.
I sold my soul for safety and empty promises, and the price tag is only now becoming clear.
“Jo…” Felix calls my friend’s—former friend’s—name.
Again?
I peek around the doorway to see them.
Anger roils in my stomach. I have to leave.
While he enjoys her mouth on his dick, I do what I should’ve done when I found them. Not confront them—I don’t care enough for that.