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“What?” Grandad still looked flustered, which was the first time in my entire life that I’d seen him anything other than calm and collected. Even when grieving, he held himself together.
“Your old friend. JP’s parent. Do I know them?” I followed Grandad into the house.
“Um, no. I don’t think so.” He went into the kitchen. “Do you want something to drink? Cynthia and I are having wine. I can get you a glass.”
He was acting weird, but he wasn’t my responsibility. He was a grown man. If he wanted to have secrets, that was his business. I hadn’t come here to be nosy.
“I’m good.” I put my hands in my pockets, feeling far more awkward around Grandad than I ever had before. Even more awkward than I had been when I’d come to him for advice about what condoms to buy that first time.
“What did you need?” Grandad asked.
I turned toward him, surprised at the abrupt question. “Um…”
“I’m sorry,” he said with a sigh. “That’s not what I meant.”
He leaned back on the counter, and I suddenly saw myself in him, what I’d look like as an old man. He had a good life, so at least it wasn’t a frightening vision.
“You’re not the type to come by just to visit,” he explained. “So, I figured you had a specific reason why you were here.”
“I do,” I said, rocking back on my heels as uncertainty continued to nag at me. “Is that okay?”
I’d never had to ask that before. Never had to question whether or not it was okay for me to come by to talk to him. I didn’t like it, but I understood it. I wasn’t his kid. He’d done his job, raising Dad. He was supposed to be retired and enjoying his golden years, not dealing with my shit.
“Of course.” He gave me a look that said I was crazy for even asking. His eyes narrowed, and it was as if someone threw a switch. The grandfather I’d always known was back. “Davin, as long as I’m alive, you can always come to me for anything. You understand that?”
I nodded, suddenly having a surreal moment where I felt like I was fourteen again and needed his advice…and then realizing that, no matter how healthy Grandad was, he was closing in on eighty. He could have another twenty years in him, but at some point, he wouldn’t be around anymore.
Fuck.
“You just went serious all at once.”
I shook my head to clear it. I didn’t come here to be morbid. I had no illusions about mortality, but I wasn’t here to think about whether or not Grandad would be around to see Deklin get married or Damon engaged or me…whatever.
“I needed some advice.Needsome advice,” I corrected myself. “And you’re the one I want to talk to.”
Grandad studied me for a moment and then nodded. “Let me tell Cynthia that I’ll be a few more minutes. You want to wait in the den or the library?”
“Library.”
It’d always been my favorite room in the house, in any house. Books comforted me; they had since I was a kid. Whenever the stress got to be too much, I’d found relief in the pages, a place to hide. Grandad had always understood that about me. It was another way that he and I were alike.
It didn’t take him long to talk to Cynthia and then join me in the library. After he settled in his favorite chair, I sat across from him, and he waited for me to begin.
“Tuesday night, I met someone.”
His face broke in a smile. “That’s great!”
Of course he was happy for me. I’d been the last hold-out. I couldn’t let him think this was the conversation where I told him all about the woman I wanted to make a part of our family.
“Some guys were hassling her, and I punched one of them,” I admitted. “She tased the other one.”
Grandad chuckled. “Sounds like I’d like her.”
I couldn’t fight the smile, but it quickly slid away as I came to the point. “That’s the problem.Ido like her.”
He looked confused. “Isn’t that a good thing?”
“You know I don’t date, and the women I’m with, liking them…it’s not the same thing. I don’t hook up with women I can’t stand, but it’s a narrow timeframe and situation. With Linsey…I enjoy talking to her.”
“This is wonderful, Davin.” Grandad was still beaming. “I’m so glad to hear that you’re thinking about something other than work.”
I wasn’t so sure I shared his enthusiasm, but that didn’t mean he couldn’t help me figure out how to handle my problem that I was no longer certain actually was a problem.