Page 15

"It'll get easier," he promises. "It just takes time. And a lot of ice cream?" He ducks his head at that, smiling into the face of my pain, and it helps. It really does.

Laughing, I tug one of my hands back and swipe the back of my wrist over my eyes. It comes away damp but not soaked. My vision is clearer already, my heart lighter.

It just felt so good to admit that I was struggling. To not have to pretend to be fine.

"Sorry," I sniffle. "Didn't mean to get all weepy on you."

"I'm honored that you did. You've got to let it out sometimes, you know?"

I nod, then rub my eyes again. I look back to him, and the golden light of the sunrise reflects off his features, making them brighter. His hair glows a coppery red. And his expression is so soft.

"How do you know the right thing to say?" I ask.

Because there's something there. Something that goes deeper than the way he clearly takes care of everyone in thishouse. The way he instantly, automatically inserted himself into my day and swept me away. The way he's taking care of me right now.

His sad smile is all the answer I need.

But he offers me another one anyway. "I've lost things, too. A lot of things." He gestures around himself. "We all have. I mean, there has to be something going on in your life to want to give it all up and come live in the wilderness on the top of a mountain, right?"

My grandmother said that kind of thing all the time. Maybe she was right.

I have so many questions about the guys he lives with and their arrangement here, but for the moment I stay focused. "Can I ask? What you lost?"

"Sure." He keeps hold of my hands but directs his gaze off into the distance. "Everyone. Everything. My parents first. Car accident, so I got sent to live with my grandma, only…"

Oh, hell.

"Only…?" I prompt, even though I feel like I have a pretty good idea where this is going to go.

"She got real sick. When she died, I was still in school, but I was over eighteen. There wasn't any place in the system for me. I was homeless for a while, living in shelters, trying to get my degree."

It's my turn now to crush his hands between my own.

"Adam…"

"It's okay. It's been a long while." One corner of his mouth flickers up, but it's a ghost of a smile. "Part of how I can say with confidence that time really does make it better."

"But it never goes away, does it?"

"No. No, it does not."

"What made it better for you?"

His voice, which had been wavering, solidifies. "The army. On a whole lot of levels. Having something to fight for. These guys, for sure. Don't know where I'd be without them. And other things, too. Finding some purpose. Someplace to call home." A sharper focus returns to his gaze. He slowly turns his head, and his warm green eyes settle on mine. "Remembering to find some beauty in this world. Taking it where I can find it."

And we're suddenly so close I can taste him.

He darts his gaze between my eyes. It flickers toward my mouth, and I can't breathe.

This man is beautiful and kind, and he's let me release some of the words that have been holding me down. He's fed me up and warmed me, and now he's looking at me as if I'm the most precious thing he's ever seen in this world.

So when he leans in, I don't resist. His eyes hold a question.

With the tiniest of nods, I say yes.

7

In the back of my head, I'm pretty sure this is a bad idea. I had a real connection with Cayden last night, and there's still my complicated history with Jax to consider. This group of guys is a band of brothers, and the last thing I want to do is come between them.