Page 83

I raised an eyebrow at the news. “Did ya know her personally?”

“Oh, I more than knew her. I watched her being created and guarded her until it was done. It fascinated me that Danu so quickly moved into the act of creating. She was powerful, I admit, but not all that special. Or not that I could tell. You’ll simply have to take my word that there were many like her who could have done what she did. In the end, the four tribes of beings Danu created developed the same flaws as the humans my creators made. Your ancestral tribes fought each other until they all lost their lives.”

“I suppose that’s how someone from outside our Celtic pantheon would see things, but I don’t see them that way. People are naturally free-thinking creatures. What happens to us all is about timing, experiences, and whether or not ya have wise leadership. TheTuatha de Danannwas lucky to have Danu.”

“Would telling you that I’m much, much older than Danu and much, much wiser make her seem less of a perfect being to you?”

I took a moment to give Zara’s strange question some thought. “My initial reaction is to say no, but to be fair to ya, I’d have to give it more thought. I owe Goddess Danu a lot. I love her like I love The Dagda.”

The smile Zara gave me was again sad. “By the time you humans evolved into your current forms, there were only a few hundred guardians left to watch over you. You grew into beings similar to us—intelligent, innovative, and determined to have your own way. We learned to be tough when it came to humanity’s grisly drive to out-animal each other fighting for a small plot of grass. The female guardians questioned the wisdom of letting those animalistic traits keep developing unchecked and unaltered.”

That sounded suspiciously like the argument I kept making with Orlin that I intervened between humans to protect the weak from the strong. It was interesting to me that the female guardians would have intervened and perhaps guided human development.

Where would humanity be if there had been no wars against each other?

The Dagda once told me that hoping for that was foolish because what made us human—that drive to challenge and conquer—would have to be stifled. It would be the antithesis of exercising free will.

I pulled my attention back to Zara who was still explaining.

“The elder guardians blindly followed the original dictates of the creators to stay neutral and leave humans to make their own fate with their foolish choices. They placated the female guardians and commanded us to stop trying to intervene. By that time, there were only one-hundred and seventeen guardians left alive to guide humanity. Human-kind exercising their ‘free will’ send disillusioned guardians back into their evolved forms to escape their duties. Most elected not to be created again. We’ve seen this happen again and again on this planet. A species that refuses to spiritually and mentally evolve destroys themselves and everything around them. I have never been willing to stand by and do nothing while I watch that happen. I kill a few humans now and again to save the many I’m trying to help.”

“So ya don’t hold any hope of humans eventually beating the odds and doing it for ourselves, do ya?”

“No, I don’t… but it’s not personal, Aran. After living as a human for so long, I know how your emotions drive you. Orlin and others made me into one of you to teach me the value of remaining neutral. It had the opposite effect on me and every other female they inflicted that fate on. Unlike the others, I was determined not to allow my human body to die. The others haven’t been allowed to evolve back to their light forms yet because they’re waiting for me to find physical death and join them. The remaining male guardians want us all gone but I’m not ready to leave. Like you, I’ve driven to fulfill what I see as my primary purpose.”

All the puzzle pieces fell into place as I figured it out. “It’s not about making demon wolves, is it? Ya want to become a creator like Danu. Is that what ya see as yer true purpose?”

Zara smiled at my brilliance. “Humanity’s ability to self-replicate is the highest expression of true power. No form I’ve occupied—regardless of species—was capable of conceiving children. Why were the male guardians given the ability to recreate themselves when the females were not? That was the biggest question that landed me in my current situation. I was grieving the loss of a higher being that I loved more than I loved myself. I understood his need to go on to his next step of evolution, but I had nothing after he left. I wanted to create a child with him but was denied it. I was willing to make any concession just to have something that would remain behind to comfort me.”

And this was why I felt sympathy for her. “I’m sorry for what ya suffered, Zara. What the male guardians did to ya was wrong. Their lack of compassion for yer grief still angers me. Orlin and I have argued about it many times.”

“Spare yourself, witch. The being I loved was a higher species and I cared deeply about his happiness. But I feel no matching compassion for any your kind. Well, I do findyoupersonally amusing, and somewhat more intelligent than most. But I’ve worked too hard to walk away from my goals.”

I sighed and rose. “Well, alright then. At least we understand each other. I’ll just go home and wait for ya to come attack me. I don’t want to hurt ya or be hurt, but if that’s how ya really feel about the situation—so be it. Thanks for talking to me.”

I headed toward the elevator. Her voice stopped me before I got inside it.

“Why would you care about hurtingme, witch? If you get in my way, you will be making me kill you, and I will even though I would prefer not to have to do so.”

I turned back to look at her. “Iwon’t be making ya do anything, Zara. Ya’re a guardian and just as arrogant as Rasmus or Orlin. If ya kill me that will be yer personal choice in the matter. All I’m doing here on this planet ismy job, which is to protect the innocents ya’re outright killing or turning to beasts against their will. That’s the difference between us. All ya’re going to do with yer genetic achievements is create advanced villains on the planet. It will bring about our destruction just that much faster.”

“Your thinking is limited.”

“My thinking is human. I was born on this planet and have right to make my own mistakes. Ya’re always going to be a visitor here no matter how human ya appear to be.”

Zara blinked fast like she couldn’t believe I’d dared lecture her, much less call her a villain. Yet for all her shock, I could tell the female guardian didn’t get what I was saying. Giving up, I shook my head, turned on my heel, and walked into the elevator.

I didn’t wave to her as the doors closed. What would be the use?

Talking to the female guardian was like talking to Fiona when she was sure she was right. There was no getting through all the attitude.

I also didn’t argue with Conn on the ride home, not even when he told me I was lucky to have walked out of there at all. He was right, of course, but I wasn’t in the mood to admit it. My mind had moved on to the bigger issue of how in the world I was going to protect those two young women Zara had turned into wolves.

Call me as crazy as she was, but I wasn’t scared of dying at her hands. That potential reality would demand to be acknowledged soon, but I felt no dread at the moment. I was more scared of losing the fight and what doing so would mean for everyone, including the demon wolves and my family.

But where could I hide the wolves until my fight with Zara was done? I needed a guardian-proof place or at least some place Zara would never look.

ChapterTwenty-Five