Page 36

“You won’t hate this writing,” Ben said, shaking the paper. “It’s a list of two families willing to talk to you about their missing person.”

Sighing in defeat, I took it from his fingers, unfolded it, and saw it contained exactly what Ben said. Moments later, Conn gently slipped the paper from my grip and looked it over as well. Then it disappeared into one of Conn’s pockets. Like I said, Conn always had my back.

Since the information was what we came for, I saw a chance to escape and took it. “Thanks for making those phone calls for us. See ya later.”

I glanced at Rasmus but couldn’t find anything polite to say to him. Feeling desperate, I did the same thing I did at breakfast that morning. I ran away from a conversation I didn’t want to have.

Turning on my heel, I nearly ran out of Ben’s makeshift office. I hadn’t gotten far before Conn caught up with me.

“I can’t believe they turned him into a child,” I said in a stunned whisper.

Conn chuckled but stopped immediately when I glared at him. “I heard him say he was thirty-two. That’s not a child, Aran. They only made him a little younger than you. Maybe Rasmus felt he needed to be younger in order to keep up.”

“I knew Rasmus wasn’t himself when he had amnesia and thought he was a demon hunter. How could I not see this situation as the same thing? He knows nothing about who he is.”

And how in all that’s sacred could the guardians erase a person’s full personality, change his memories, and turn him so completely into someone else? Goddess knew I’d never feared the gods. I’d always seen them as powerful beings who wanted the best for me. But I feared the guardians. They had powers beyond my comprehension.

And my fear only made me madder at them.

I halted my stride and swung to Conn. “The guardians follow their own reasoning while ignoring the input of lesser beings like us. If they can do that to Rasmus, they have the power to do whatever they want to any of us. No wonder historical records say nothing good about them. What good do they do? All I see is that they play with people’s lives.”

Conn stared at me in wide-eyed wonder before bursting into laughter.

“Laugh if ya want, but I don’t find it amusing. They might think they control all of humanity, but I have enough power myself not to blindly accept their heavy-handed intervention. I’m going to talk to Orlin and demand he change Rasmus back into his normal self now, instead of waiting until I die. I don’t care about their rules for interacting with the species they’re watching over. Their rules are stupid.”

A chuckling Conn hurried after me until he could catch my arms and pull me to a full stop again. “Aran, you’re not thinking clearly. They kept their word and informed you that Rasmus himself chose to make this level of change. For your peace of mind, I suggest you try believing that. Thinking like you’re thinking now will only drive you insane.”

I raised my arm and pointed back the way I came. “Do ya think that arrogant, know-it-all guardian I argued with all the timewillinglybecame that inexperienced boy? No man would give up all that knowledge he’d acquired over the eons. And even if he did, why wouldn’t Rasmus at least warn me what he planned to do? This whole scenario reeks of insanity already.”

“Aren’t you forgetting I can change my human form whenever I want? No, I can’t create my humanity from scratch, but I can imitate what I see. It would only take me a couple of days to make myself lookexactlylike Rasmus does now. I only look like your brother in my human form because I choose to look that way. Maybe you can think of Rasmus and his new form like you think of me.”

I glared at him before I started walking again. “It’s like ya want me to have nightmares. Ya’ve had this form for nearly twenty years, Conn, and I insist ya keep it until I die. Then ya can change it however ya wish.”

Conn chuckled, stopped me again, and rubbed my arms as he tried to calm me. “I know this is hard, but he’ll always be the same person you knew on the inside. You treat me the same even when I take the form of creatures you hate.”

I frowned at his logic. “Yer situation is different. Our agreement is different.”

Chuckling, Conn stared at me. “You care about us for different reasons, but other than that the situation is exactly the same.”

I yanked away from his grip and started walking again. “I want nothing to do with this version of Rasmus. He can have whatever life he planned to live out in this younger human form, butIwill not be part of that life. Once I die, they’ll change him back. Orlin told me they would do that. So I have nothing more to worry about where Rasmus is concerned.”

Conn hummed with curiosity. “Is that what they said? That Rasmus will go back to being his old guardian self after you’re dead?”

“Yes, because he wasn’tallowedto be his true guardian self with me. Don’t ask me why because I don’t know. Their reasoning was vague and condescending, like usual. Every time I talk to any of them, Rasmus included, I end up angry. The guardians are not as perfect as they think they are.”

Conn kept pace as I stormed out of the mall. “I guess I can see why you’d be offended by his regeneration choices.”

“I’m notoffended, Conn. I’mangrythat I was excluded. Once I return to Ireland, I’m going to compile my own little book of well-trained men that I can call when I get lonely. Mulan won’t have to loan me hers then.”

“I thought we were all buying a house together.”

I stopped and pounded on the hood of my car. “Iwill notrepeat my grandmother’s life. Orlin wasn’t worth her physical fidelity. Rasmus isn’t worth mine.”

“Okay. What did you mean Mulan’s book of boyfriends? Only human men do that and they keep the names on their phones these days.”

I grunted as I climbed into the car. “I’m replacing ya as my best friend. The Wu Shaman may insult me on the regular, but at least she understands what it means to be a woman.”

The ride home was spent in deliberate silence. I was too upset about Rasmus to talk without spewing curse words in every direction.