Page 10 of 3rd and 4 (Season of Change #3)
I woke up yesterday in Addy’s arms and it was…
perfect. Swell. Amazing. Nice. We lazed around my dorm room, had brunch sitting on my bed.
We showered separately, I spent a little more time on my hair and light makeup, then Addy led me hand in hand to the main security office to get a new ID.
After that was done, we replaced my phone and walked around campus with a permanent smile on my face listening to him talk about his time here.
The way he spoke about the university and what he’s learned in and out of the classroom, made it all less daunting.
Manageable. A little exciting. So many new things to learn and see, people to meet, places to visit.
And if he’s with me for even a fraction of it, then my future is looking bright.
I’m growing addicted to Elijah Addelsbach.
His laugh, his scent, his cadence, and his attention.
When we’re together, it’s as if the rest of the world fades away.
Wow. That’s super clichéd. And perhaps a tiny bit juvenile, but I don’t think I care. I really, really like him.
We stopped for dinner; talking about our families, sharing anecdotes from our childhoods, just genuinely getting to know each other on a deeper level.
He walked me home to my dorm and we stood outside my dorm kissing and smiling until I shooed him away so I could go to bed alone, giving myself time to process everything that’s happened.
Except, I missed him instantly. As I was moping around my room getting ready for bed, he called because he missed me just as much and we stayed on the phone for two hours.
I woke up this morning determined to put the events after the game Saturday behind me.
It was cruel and undeserved, but it’s over and done with.
My brother and I are texting back and forth as I walk to the athletic complex for the afternoon workout.
I glance up to press the button on the crosswalk and come face to face with my face.
Dread settles into my stomach like a lead weight.
My eyes dart across the street and all around.
I’m everywhere. That stupid, embarrassing picture is printed in technicolor and taped to every available surface from here to the complex doors.
I rip them down as I go, crumpling them in my fists.
I scan my card and enter the building, thankful not to see any on my way to the locker room.
I push open the doors and there I am for everyone to see.
To mock. The other girls are standing around staring at them.
A few laughing, but several, including Eva, are angry as they tear them off the lockers.
“Daya!” Eva screams, rushing to me and wrapping me up in a tight hug. “Honey, I’m so sorry!”
I hold up my fists full of torn paper, the shreds of my dignity, and whisper, “They’re everywhere. Why?”
“I don’t know, Daya. I don’t…I’m so sorry.
” I nod numbly, appreciating her hold on me because otherwise I think I’d fall to the floor and cry.
The others on my side crowd around us, each giving me hugs and words of encouragement.
It’s too late. I know that sounds mean and ungrateful.
But the damage has been done. Whoever did this, accomplished what they wanted. To humiliate me. Shame me.
I know who did this, I don’t have any proof, but what I don’t understand is why.
I did nothing to them. I simply existed and I can’t for the life of me figure out how that so egregiously offended her that she would set about to destroy me.
Not physically, at least not yet, but mentally.
Emotionally. She’s trying to cripple me and I’m ashamed to say I think it’s working.
“Daya.” I close my eyes on a heavy sigh and turn around to face Jenna. Our coach is pissed as hell when I open my eyes to face the music. She’s a pretty woman, but right now, she looks like she could go a few rounds with Connor MacGregor and win. That doesn’t bode well for me.
I think what sucks the most is that I’ve been making all these plans in my head for Addy and I.
Building a possible future in my dreams. And when Jenna points to the main hallway, I feel those dreams evaporate like smoke on the wind.
I nod; shoulders slumped and follow her out of the locker room.
We walk in silence down the hall to her office.
Once inside, I sit in the chair she points to as she shuts the door with a finality that startles me.
Is this a record? Shortest college cheering career in history.
Jenna sits behind her desk and opens her mouth, but I start talking before she can get a word out. “I’m so sorry, Jenna, for causing trouble and disrupting practice. I’ll try to have all the pictures down before I leave to pack up my things. I’m very grateful for the opportunity you gave me and I—”
“Woah! Woah!” Jenna holds up her hands, practically screaming at me, as she stands quickly and rounds her desk to sit next to me.
“Daya. You think I brought you in here to yell at you?” I nod, biting my bottom lip until I taste blood.
“Pack up?” She sits back in shock, making a series of unintelligible noises.
“You honestly think I’m kicking you out of the program? The university?”
“Aren’t you?”
“NO!” I jerk back in my seat, the vehemence of her answer a little terrifying. “You’re the victim! I was briefed on what happened after the game on Saturday. And then to see the flyers…and the mass text—”
“Mass text?” I screech. It’s worse than I thought. She winces, placing a warm hand on my arm and squeezing.
“I spoke to Zeigler and Smith in security. They informed me that they are unable to determine who stole your belongings after the game. As far as the flyers and text, they are working on it. I just…I’m so sorry, Daya.
I brought you here, convinced you to leave home and trust me and I’ve let you down. ”
“It isn’t your fault—”
“I’m responsible for you. For your safety. Physically and mentally. And I’ve failed you.” She leans forward, sliding her hand down my arm to grab my own hand. It’s comforting. Motherly, though she’s less than 10 years older than me. “Do you need to speak to a counselor? Therapist? I can arrange—”
“No.” I rush to say, wincing when I realize I cut her off.
“Sorry.” I look down at my hand in hers and feel a rush of emotion surge through me.
“I’m ok.” And I am. I will be, anyway. I’ve got Jenna, Eva, many of the squad, my family…
and Addy at my back. I don’t have to do this alone.
And whoever hates me this much is in the minority.
Also, it’s their problem not mine. I didn’t do anything to anyone.
I refuse to take responsibility for someone else’s actions.
“It’s stupid and hurts, and I hate it, but I’m not traumatized by it.
I don’t think I need a professional at this time. ”
Jenna eyes me speculatively, and I know she doesn’t quite believe me, but she’s taking me at my word for now.
“You have the photoshoot with Edee on Wednesday. Lilly and I made a list of costumes to wear, and some specific poses and action shots. Edee has the same list, so review it tonight after practice and let me know tomorrow if you have any problems or questions.”
“Will do.” I meet her eyes and smile softly. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me, I don’t deserve it.”
“Tough. You can’t tell me not to be thankful.” I joke and she laughs with me, shaking her head.
“Alright, get out of here. That workout isn’t going to complete itself.”
With a deep breath, I exit Jenna’s office and head back into the locker room.
It’s blessedly empty as everyone has already gone to the gym.
I change quickly, grab my water bottle and towel, attach my phone to the arm band, and pop in my AirPods.
As soon as I’m through the door, the pungent odor of sweat and disinfectants coating my lungs, Addy grabs me and lifts me off my feet.
I’m giggling while he bounces me around, much to the amusement of most of the squad.
I spot Shaye, Lindsay, and Jillian glaring at me, but decide to ignore them.
“Itty Bitty, are you alright? I asked the janitor to help take down the flyers that the guys and I didn’t get. They should be all gone by the time we’re done here.”
I smile at him and rub my nose along his.
“I’m good. Thank you.” Conscious of everyone in the room, Addy kisses my forehead and the tip of my nose before setting me down.
We start our workout and it’s cathartic to sweat my way through the circuit.
With every rep, I feel the stress melting away.
Nothing I can’t handle. Nothing I can’t survive.
“Addy, are you sure you aren’t gay?” Jillian says in a loud voice from next to the bench press where Addy is spotting me. When I lift the barbell, Addy helps me rack it safely. “I don’t think Daya here is female at all.”
Lindsay titters obnoxiously, “Didn’t know you liked ‘em butch, Mic-Man. Guess I never stood a chance, huh?”