Page 20 of 12 Ways to Kill Your Family at Christmas

ProudKaren08

Someone should tell her to give up already.

FantasyWh0re

I’ve already told my reading group not to even bother. Worst fantasy novel I’ve ever read. And that’s saying something.

Each word was a dagger, reopening old wounds I thought had healed. I knew I shouldn’t be reading this, knew how it would affect me, but I couldn’t look away. It was like watching a train wreck in slow motion. I clicked on ‘show more’– I had to read on until I’d seen every new post.

The old self-loathing, the self-doubt, began to percolate. I couldn’t do it. I wasn’t good enough… I had embarrassed myself. Perhaps I could email that ghost writer… I opened Gmail and tentatively began typing out an email.

Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder.

I jumped out of my skin and slammed the laptop shut. I whirled around to see Mimi peering down at me.

‘Christ, Mimi,’ I said breathlessly, ‘you scared me to death.’

‘Sorry…’ She’d taken her shoes off, and was standing there in black stockinged feet, a woollen skirt and a silk blouse. Her eyes were rimmed with dark circles as if she hadn’t slept a wink. Sitting down heavily on the lounger next to me, she swung her feet up and sat back.

Sighing, she looked up, fixing her gaze upon the rippling reflections of the water playing across the ceiling. ‘How’s the writing going?’ she asked without interest.

‘Not well,’ I admitted.

‘I’m sure you’ll be fine. It always gets written in the end.’

She was right, of course, except this time felt very different. I had already asked my editor to push my deadline back twice, and with dwindling sales I could tell she was itching for an excuse not to re-contract me.

I glanced at Mimi. ‘No offence, but you look like hell. Was everything okay last night with Tristan? We were worried when you didn’t come down.’

‘His father’s just died,’ she said flatly, ‘of course he’s not all right.’

‘Yes, I know…’ I bit my tongue. I so wanted to ask her what the argument was about, but I knew if I did, she’d close up and completely deny it. ‘I’m asking about you, though. Is everything okay with you?’

I also desperately wanted to know what Jeannie and Aunt Clem had been discussing in the kitchen before George died, but the chances of Mimi opening up to me on that front were also slim to none.

‘You know what it’s like,’ she said tersely. ‘All this stuff about the will, they’ve got Tristan and I all tangled up in legalities. It’s a goddamn mess, to be quite honest.’

Her choice of words conjured the image of a trussed-up George again, and I wondered if it would ever be appropriate to use his death for one of my characters. My guess was no…

Instead, I simply said, ‘Oh?’

Outside, sleet began lashing at the windows. She breathed deeply before continuing. ‘Did you know that there are stipulations to the inheritance? Did Miles ever tell you that?’

‘Like what?’

She considered for a moment, clearly unsure of how much she should say.

‘About having to stay married… basically forever. About… extra-marital affairs. Remarrying if they die before us, that type of thing. If those stipulations are broken, you and I… we get nothing.’

Tristan was playing away, then. To be honest, he seemed the type.

‘I remember reading something like that.’ I shrugged.

Mimi looked at me in surprise.

I continued, ‘What’s more surprising to me is that you didn’t read the fine print of the prenup they made us sign. Did you not get your lawyer to look over it?’

‘Lawyer?’ She laughed. ‘I was twenty-five. I didn’t have a lawyer.’