Page 63 of 11 Cowboys
I shake my head slowly. “No.”
The word lands with finality.
Conway sighs. “Noted.”
Silence.
And then, calmly, as if I hadn’t punched a hole in the damn dream, he turns to me. “Reasons?”
I lean forward, resting my elbows on the scarred wood. “Because she won’t stay. Because we’re setting ourselves up to fail. Because even if she cares, and maybe she does, it won’t outweigh her career, her independence, her life back home. She isn’t one of us. We’ve tried this before, and we got burned, and I don’t want to go through it again.”
No one speaks, and I get it. What I’ve said is as heavy as a cattle gate slamming shut.
“So you’re against the whole thing?”
I face Conway, needing him to listen. “It’s been a lame duck idea since the start, and Grace being here has made it more obvious. The risk to all of us is too high, but especially to those kids. They already love her… we can’t keep bringing people in here and take them away again. I don’t know what the answer is, but this isn’t it.”
I glance toward the door. Out in the distance, Grace is standing in the fading light by the swing set, hair loose, laughing at something Matty says as Beau circles at her feet.
My chest tightens painfully as the memory of my own momma pushing me on that swing stabs through me, knocking air from my lungs. Love is a risk. No point in experiencing it if it keeps getting taken away. I clear my throat and look back at the table. “We’re gonna end up damaging them… for the rest of their lives. And I won’t vote for something I know damn well has a ninety-nine percent chance of crashing and burning.”
Cody breaks the silence, softer than usual. “But that one percent?”
I meet his eyes. “Not worth betting the whole damn ranch on.”
It isn’t the ranch that’s at risk, but admitting that I can’t bear to lose another person is too painful and raw, even to these men who are part of my body and soul.
Conway straightens, letting the weight of the conversation settle. Then he nods once. “Ten to one. Thedecision stands.”
I don’t argue. What’s the point? I’ve said my piece. They all know where I stand. I’ll never say I told you so when it all goes to shit. I won’t need to. Being right won’t make me feel better.
The scrape of chairs fills the room as the meeting breaks. No one pats me on the back. No one offers hollow reassurances. They know me better than that. I linger behind, staring at the empty coffee mug in front of me. My fists clench, and I force them open again.
I want to believe it’s possible to feel more than this fucking emptiness… this bitterness at the world. God, I want to.
But I can’t.
21
NASH
The paddock is quiet as the sun leans low against the horizon. The golden light catches flecks of dust that hang suspended like tiny fireflies. I lean against the gate, arms crossed, watching the bay mare pacing in tight, jerky circles.
Maggie was rescued two months ago. She’s thin, skittish, unpredictable, and won’t let anyone near her but me. Even then, only barely. I don’t push. I don’t talk much. Horses don’t care about words; they sense vibrations and intentions.
Animals are better than humans at figuring out who’s good and who’s bad.
I shift my weight slowly, barely making a sound, and step into the ring. Maggie freezes, ears twitching, nostrils flare, eyes widening. I stay still, breathing slowly, letting her decide what happens next.
A familiar weight leans into my thigh; Beau, big dopey fool of a dog, flops at my side and watches with his tongue lolling out. He doesn’t understand patience, but he respects the space, and Maggie, surprisingly, isn’t bothered by him.
Movement in the corner of my eye pulls my attention. Grace stands at the fence, one hand resting lightly on the top rail, her hair catching the last of the sun like it’s been lit from within. Her expression is soft, curious, and open.
I don’t speak. Neither does she. We let the quiet settle between us as natural as breathing.
Finally, I break it. My voice sounds low and rough from disuse. “You come to watch or help?”
“Maybe a little of both.”
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
- Page 22
- Page 23
- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
- Page 28
- Page 29
- Page 30
- Page 31
- Page 32
- Page 33
- Page 34
- Page 35
- Page 36
- Page 37
- Page 38
- Page 39
- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44
- Page 45
- Page 46
- Page 47
- Page 48
- Page 49
- Page 50
- Page 51
- Page 52
- Page 53
- Page 54
- Page 55
- Page 56
- Page 57
- Page 58
- Page 59
- Page 60
- Page 61
- Page 62
- Page 63 (reading here)
- Page 64
- Page 65
- Page 66
- Page 67
- Page 68
- Page 69
- Page 70
- Page 71
- Page 72
- Page 73
- Page 74
- Page 75
- Page 76
- Page 77
- Page 78
- Page 79
- Page 80
- Page 81
- Page 82
- Page 83
- Page 84
- Page 85
- Page 86
- Page 87
- Page 88
- Page 89
- Page 90
- Page 91
- Page 92
- Page 93
- Page 94
- Page 95
- Page 96
- Page 97
- Page 98
- Page 99
- Page 100
- Page 101
- Page 102
- Page 103
- Page 104
- Page 105
- Page 106
- Page 107
- Page 108
- Page 109
- Page 110
- Page 111
- Page 112
- Page 113
- Page 114
- Page 115
- Page 116
- Page 117
- Page 118
- Page 119
- Page 120
- Page 121
- Page 122
- Page 123
- Page 124
- Page 125
- Page 126
- Page 127
- Page 128
- Page 129
- Page 130
- Page 131
- Page 132
- Page 133
- Page 134
- Page 135
- Page 136
- Page 137
- Page 138
- Page 139
- Page 140
- Page 141
- Page 142
- Page 143
- Page 144
- Page 145
- Page 146
- Page 147