Page 48 of Your Pace or Mine (Running for the Romance #1)

Fucking thanks, Elle. She was probably right, though, and he would like to see Darius as soon as possible. Maybe just to make sure things really were, well, ok with them. Saturday was a long way to wait, and Jamie’s insecurity in the relationship they’d barely rekindled was starting to grow.

His knee protested as he got up and made his way to the front to pay Elle; sitting for so long hadn’t done him any favours.

Reggie looked on in concern. He knew he’d be in for a lecture about that soon.

But as they stepped out onto Brick Lane, the fresh tattoo on his hip burned slightly, grounding him in the moment, and Jamie felt a renewed sense of pride in himself and what he could accomplish.

Darius had been exceptionally busy all week, and Jamie had as well—putting the final touches on his university application with Sebastien’s help. Sebastien clearly knew what was happening on Saturday but was conspiring with Darius to keep Jamie in the dark. It was incredibly annoying.

Jamie and Darius had spoken every day, easily falling into their old pattern of late-night conversations, but they had deftly avoided discussing their relationship at all.

Jamie hadn’t managed to see him, and he still wasn’t entirely sure where they stood.

Emotions had been running wild during the marathon, but now, with a bit of distance, his insecurities were back in full force.

He couldn’t help but think that maybe Darius was avoiding him—like he was worried about being seen with him.

He wanted to ask outright, but a tiny part of him was afraid he wouldn’t get the answer he hoped for.

By the time the big secret Saturday event finally rolled around, Jamie’s nerves were on fire.

Darius had asked him to meet him at Haven, the youth centre Jamie had fundraised for.

The place meant a lot to Jamie. It was where they’d had their first not-date-date , which felt like a lifetime ago.

Jamie figured Darius’d be making a big donation or something, but he didn’t want to spoil whatever surprise he had in mind.

He tried on every outfit in his wardrobe before finally settling on a pair of jeans and a plain blue T-shirt.

He thought it made his eyes pop, and he wanted any advantage he could get.

He grabbed a hoodie on his way out the door because the spring weather was nothing if not unpredictable and shoved it in his backpack, which also somewhat optimistically contained his toothbrush and a change of clothes.

The ride over to the centre was long, as usual.

He had to change trains multiple times, which was better in a way—less quiet time to overthink.

Jamie wondered if maybe he shouldn’t have forgiven Darius so quickly.

He’d embarrassed him, hurt him and dredged up every feeling of inadequacy that he had spent so long burying.

He’d been emotional during the marathon and just wanted the one thing back in his life that had made him feel good.

He loved him, but he worried about whether they’d be able to withstand the pressure they were sure to face…

if they could trust each other this time.

Thinking about it now, and maybe this truly was a sign of growing up, he did recognise that he had played a pretty significant role in allowing the distrust between them to fester.

He’d been secretive and distant, hiding behind the pretence of a fake relationship because he was too afraid to admit how much he wanted him, and hadn’t ever told Darius anything about his past. He’d tried to be easy-going Jamie , the one who always had an wry grin and seductive trick up his sleeve to break Darius out of the funk he’d been in.

The truth was, though, he didn’t actually want to be that guy anymore.

Jamie wanted stability, he wanted purpose, and to do something that made an impact on the world.

He walked up to the centre and rang the buzzer. He was early, and Jade was still running around setting up banners about the new initiative, which was being sponsored by… The Hewitt Foundation . Jamie paused in front of the sign, everything starting to slot into place.

Then he saw them.

Darius broke free from the cluster of athletes near the makeshift stage to greet Jamie, pulling him into a tight hug and pressing a kiss to his cheek. It was somehow both more and less than Jamie needed in that moment.

As the room had started to fill, the event starting, Darius jogged up to the stage where he sat with Jackson, Sebastien, and another man and woman Jamie didn’t recognise, a small scattering of press surrounding them.

A brief speech from Jade introduced the centre and welcomed the founders of the Hewitt Foundation, and their collaboration that would bring athletics training as well as health services to youth centres like this across the country.

Cheers rang out as she finished, and a group of teenagers Jamie recognised from their visit launched streamers into the air.

Then Darius took the microphone, and Jamie could practically smell his hesitation.

He knew how much Darius hated this kind of thing, but to the rest of the world, he was the very portrait of a calm, collected athlete.

There was a piece of streamer stuck to his head from the party poppers that had gone off.

Jamie focused on it, unsure of whether he would storm the stage or burst into tears if he looked Darius in the eye.

What on earth had he done to deserve a chance with this incredible man?

Darius, though, was looking straight at Jamie.

“Mr Hewitt?”

A reporter’s grating voice interrupted Jamie’s thoughts. They’d reached the time for press questions, which Jamie was certain Darius would be dreading above all, and this reporter seemed to be actively zeroing in on Darius.

Darius blinked at the reporter wearing a badge that read ‘Runner’s Life.’ A dark look passed over his face, but he just nodded for them to continue.

“Would you mind answering a few questions?” she asked, her tone polite but firm.

Darius hesitated, then responded, finally shaking the bit of streamer loose from his hair. “Sure,” he said, his voice steady. “Let’s do this.”

The reporter gestured to the camera crew, and within moments, the red light was blinking, signalling they were live.

“Darius Hewitt, Olympic hopeful and son of Lord Archibald Hewitt,” the reporter began, her smile professional.

“You’ve previously been accused of prejudice against fellow athletes, and have recently quite publicly been pictured at this very charity, which many viewed as you attempting to rainbow wash your public image, not to mention the suspicion around the timing of the reveal of your previous relationship.

I’m sure you can understand the surprise to see you alongside an already selected Olympic runner here today. ”

Darius glanced at the colourful banners positioned around the centre. He took a breath, seeming to feel the weight of the moment, then, much to Jamie’s surprise, he replied with a sarcastic drawl. “And was there a question in there?”

The reporter flushed. “Do you expect to be selected in the final round this week for the Olympic team?”

Darius leaned in. “There is only one man here who knows who will be selected for the Olympics. You should probably ask him.”

The reporter nodded, continuing unruffled. “Why is this initiative important to you, Darius?”

Darius seemed to hit his stride, then. “This initiative is about providing access to athletics that, as with many sports, has been too much of a closed shop in this country for too long. Sure, we’ve had athletes who’ve broken down barriers,” he nodded faintly towards his friend Jackson, who was on stage next to him, “but what might we see achieved if more people had access to the type of training that I, and many of my fellow athletes were fortunate enough to be granted as young people.” Darius paused for a moment.

Everyone was listening intently, Jamie included.

“I am all too aware of the privileges I was personally afforded, and I want to make sure that those privileges aren’t reserved for the lucky few.

I’m thrilled that all of us here today have been able to come together for this incredible charity.

This place is about love, acceptance, and being proud of who you are. ”

Darius’s voice rang clear. Jamie watched as he lowered his cue cards and addressed the reporter directly, “And look, you’re right.

For a long time, I wasn’t proud of my identity.

I resented my position and hid who I was because I thought it shouldn’t matter; it shouldn’t have any bearing on my career as a runner.

To be clear, I still believe that to be true, but I’ve realised that in my efforts to maintain my privacy, I pushed people away and allowed certain conclusions to be drawn. ”

The reporter’s eyebrows lifted slightly, sensing where this was going.

“I have never looked down on my fellow athletes or fellow humans, regardless of their background or anything else, and I just want to make that very clear today.”

“You’ve been tied to a controversial figure in the press recently. Can you confirm a relationship?”

Jamie cringed as he waited for Darius’s answer. “I know my father isn’t popular with everyone, but I didn’t think he was all that controversial these days.”

Darius’s deliberate misdirection earned him a few laughs, but the reporter wasn’t letting up.

She blinked, momentarily thrown. You could practically see her cataloguing the information, trying to pull her next question out to get the most sensationalist headline possible.

“I was referring to your relationship with the disgraced West End performer, a Mr Jamie Carter.”

Jamie wanted to disappear into the floor. He knew, he knew this would come between them. He hadn’t thought it would happen quite so quickly, though, or that he’d have to sit here and watch things fall apart all over again.

Darius’s expression shuttered. “Interesting choice of words there, disgraced ,“ he started. “Listen, I’m not going to speak on Jamie’s behalf, but I will say this: I’m disappointed but not surprised by the media’s handling of a sensitive topic.

I thought we’d learned the lesson by now that you shouldn’t always believe the account of the most powerful man in the room. ”

Jamie felt like all the air had been sucked out of the room. He could practically feel the eyes seeking him out.

“Jamie is the reason I’m standing here today,” Darius continued.

“He believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself, reminded me that I didn’t have to choose between being who I am and being great—that I could have both if I was brave enough to go for it, and that it is what we do with the privilege we have been afforded that matters.

” He paused, his lips curving into a faint, almost shy smile.

“He makes me want to be the best version of myself. Not because he expects it, but because he deserves it.” Darius paused, his smile widening.

“And he’s the one who introduced me to this place, so he is quite literally the inspiration for this foundation. ”

The reporter leaned in slightly, clearly charmed. “It sounds like he means a lot to you.”

Darius chuckled softly, his gaze finding Jamie’s again. “He’s everything. I love him with my whole being. And I don’t know if I deserve him, I… made some mistakes, and I’m still learning, but I’m going to spend every day trying to be worthy of him, if he’ll still have me.”

Jamie was teetering dangerously on the edge of rushing the stage. Darius was really up there, telling the press that he loved him. It was wildly irresponsible. Jamie’s brain was rapidly cataloguing all the ways this could backfire on Darius, but it was also so damn romantic.

“So, for clarity for our readers, Darius, you are still involved with Jamie Carter?”

God, did this reporter have no sense of timing? They needed to wrap this up so Jamie could get Darius somewhere more private as soon as bloody possible.

Darius smiled faintly. “As mentioned, I have always endeavoured to keep my private life separate from my professional life because, quite frankly, one has no bearing on the other. To be clear, I am not in any way, shape, or form ashamed of my relationship with Jamie,” he smirked as he continued.

“Though I certainly don’t think my relationship status is the most interesting thing you could write about today. ”

The reporter scribbled frantically as Darius spoke.

Jamie felt his chest swell with pride for the strength of the man in front of him, but Darius hadn’t finished yet.

“This foundation was inspired by love, but it’s about more than that.

Because honestly, it’s about time sports embraced everyone, no matter where they come from, what they look like, or who they love.

I’m not just an athlete—I’m a person, and I’m naturally a very private person, but if being open about my life helps even one young person feel less alone, then it’s worth it. ”

A few of the teenagers from the centre whooped in appreciation for Darius, who grinned at them in response.

The cheers settled, and a strange sense came over the crowd, as if everyone was wondering what came next.

It was broken by Jackson picking up a microphone, a teasing smile on his face.

“Does anyone have questions for the rest of us, or do you all only care about Hewitt’s love life right now?

I’ve got a pretty big event in the calendar in August if anyone wants to chat about that? ”

Darius laughed, lowering his microphone, as some of the other reporters started to ask generic questions about training schedules and Olympic hopes to the other athletes gathered.

Jamie’s heart was hammering harder than it had even during the final miles of his marathon, but it was full, so full. He smiled at Darius, a small private smile and a promise of things to come.