Page 68

Chapter 67

Anna

There are no lights on inside my house as I approach it. Drew’s work van is no longer parked on the drive and the back door to the house remains how I left it, unlocked. I enter, quietly closing and locking it behind me. I remain still, listening for any signs of life in the eerie silence, in case my brother is actually here. My hands are trembling, partly down to the biting cold and partly from the shock of the night’s events. I clench and unclench my fists but it doesn’t stop the persistent shakes.

Upstairs in the bathroom, I strip out of my clothes, leaving them in a heap on the floor. Bonfire smoke has seeped into the threads and stuck to my skin. I turn the shower up to a medium heat and wince when a jet of water hits the wound on my forehead. I rinse matted blood out of my hair, then shampoo it twice. When I’m finished, I turn the heat up a few more notches until it’s almost unbearable. It scalds the scars on my thigh but I don’t budge despite how much it hurts. Then I find myself crying, slapping the tiles over and over again to distract from the pain. And only when the rest of my skin feels as if it wants to slide off my body do I turn the temperature down and attack myself with a body scrub, using most of a bottle. I rub the grit into my scar, encouraging it to hurt more. Finally, I slump against the wall, slide down into the shower tray and allow the water to cascade over me.

I’m not sure how long I remain there because I’m busy replaying the police interview from earlier. Our conversation was more a fact-finding mission than a formal statement. I’ll have to make that at the station tomorrow. I hope what I told them was convincing, but the more I think about it, the less convinced I am.

I told the detectives I’d picked up a phone with an illuminated screen which I found near the playing field’s tennis court. Margot’s voice had come out of the blue. I’d been trying to get hold of her all day but she hadn’t returned my calls. I explained how, to begin with, I couldn’t make sense of what she was telling me, something about being trapped in the bonfire. I said I’d thought she was drunk, as she’d found it tough after the recent separation from her husband. Then, when I knew she was being serious, I dropped the phone and ran to alert the fire marshals.

I failed to mention I took the phone with me. I’ve since turned it off and removed the battery and SIM card, and as soon as it gets light and I can see what I’m doing, I’ll hide it inside a waterproof bag and tie it to a conifer branch a couple of metres high in the back garden where it won’t be seen.

The DS asked who I thought might want to hurt Margot and I mentioned a stalker who sends her macabre gifts.

I said nothing about my brother.

Eventually I turn the shower off and dry my red, pimpled skin. As I put on fresh clothes, I return to the last thing Margot told me as she was being stretchered into the back of the ambulance. I know that she exaggerates, but I’m a hundred per cent certain that tonight, she didn’t. You don’t lie when you think you’re about to die.

‘You know what you have to do,’ Ioana now whispers in my ear.

I jump when her voice appears without warning and after weeks of silence.

But for once, it doesn’t feel ominous, because she doesn’t want me to hurt myself. She knows what I’m thinking, and she agrees.

I make my way downstairs. And when I find what I need, I am ready.