Page 45 of You Can Make Me

“Can I trust that he’s telling me the truth? That he really wants to get better and will cooperate with me?”

I shook the damned ball and waited for the triangle to settle.

It is decidedly so.

My lips curled up in a grin. I didn’t want to push my luck, so I stopped there. Asking whether he meant it when he told me he loved me would only be asking for trouble.

“Thank you, oh wise one.”

I set it back down and exhaled. Only time would tell if he was really okay. This explosive incident in the RV could have been a gut reaction, or he could still be at risk for self-harm. I’d have to keep a close eye on him without hovering or smothering. I didn’t want to go back to one-word answers and meltdowns. I wanted us to truly be back on track, but more importantly, I needed Cooper to recover.

This had all been such a test of my patience. I hoped I didn’t fail.

Sam wandered back in and got to work trying out the hot spots she’d brought. She tried them both and was able to get a better signal, so she decided to leave both in case one quit working.

“Cooper loathes tech fails, so I’ll leave this one as a backup.”

“Thank you. And thanks for coming, and understanding, and…”

“Well, I’m not sure I understand it all. You’ve sacrificed a lot for Cooper, and I know you’re a good man.”

“But?”

“I love you both,” she said. “And because of that, I’m trying not to doom scroll through all the possible scenarios. I want to root for you two to make it.”

“But?”

She smiled sadly and shrugged. “You’ve always been the job. Now you’re retired andCooper’sbecome your job. This could be a good opportunity for you to, I don’t know, connect with someone in a way you haven’t before.”

“Sam, I was married. Twice. Remember?”

“And why do you think you aren’t now?”

I blanched at her words. How was this turning into a me problem? “Uh, because Renee cheated on me? And ran off with her high school sweetheart?”

“Which is totally her loss.”

“But?”

“Denny, remember that I said I love you?”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, and because I love you, I can admit that Renee cared about you in her own way, but Den,youhave to admit you’re not the most emotionally available person.” Her eyes went wide, as if she was actually afraid of my reaction to her observation.

“I don’t disagree with you.”

Sam blinked, then sighed. “How are you going to be different with Cooper? He’ll always put it all out there. Are you willing to do the same?”

“I already have,” I said. “From the first night, I told him I was scared shitless. The first time we, uh… I admitted I had no idea what I was doing, but I wanted him anyway. When he asked me to break him out of the rehab facility, I told him I was afraid I’d fail him. And just this morning, I told him… I love him.” I let outa shaky breath as her eyes got even wider. “If that ain’t putting it out there, Sam, I don’t know?—”

She threw her arms around me, and I yelped in surprise.

“What’s all this?” I asked, laughing nervously. I patted her awkwardly on the back. “It’s been an extremely long time since a woman has thrown herself at me.”

“Shut up and let me hug you,” she said into my shoulder. “You’re making me cry, asshole.”

“I’m sorry?”