Page 15 of You Belong Here

BEFORE: THE LETTER

The letter was waiting for me on the kitchen table, four days after my interview.

Four days of an engine idling in the dark. Four days of leaving the phone off the hook to prevent the calls from the media, who had somehow gotten my name. Four days of my parents warning: Don’t answer the door; stay inside.

My mother had already pulled the letter from the envelope, but the creases still bent the paper into thirds.

“What is it?” I asked as my mother backed away from the table, leaving space for me to see.

“It’s from the school,” she said, frowning.

I unfolded the page, printed on the college’s official letterhead. My eyes skimmed the page:

Due to the ongoing investigation—

In order to protect the learning environment—

We believe it would be in your best interest to take a leave of absence—

“They’re kicking me out?” I asked, paper shaking in my hand.

“No,” my father said. “It’s just temporary. A semester away, until this all blows over. They’re trying to keep this from becoming a national story.”

Of course—the school valued their reputation above all. This was a narrative they couldn’t control. A story that was spiraling outside of their reach. My presence was only making it worse.

I looked to my mother, but her eyes drifted away. “There’s a sister school in London,” she said, as if they’d already discussed it. “I’ll talk to the deans tomorrow, see if we can get the process started. Really, if they’re asking you to take a leave, they owe you.”

I didn’t put up a fight. Found myself overwhelmed, with no words to pull forth. It seemed fitting, somehow, to lose everything all at once: my best friend, my home, my future.

“Just for a little while,” said my father. “By the time you come back, this will all be in the past.”

But even then, I knew: This place would never forget.

It would never be safe to return.