Page 16 of Wyoming Bodyguard (Sunrise Security #1)
He rubbed the back of his neck, the motion causing the peas to spill to the floor.
He didn’t make a move to pick them up, just stared at her with a quiet resignation she didn’t understand.
“Unfortunately, yes. Dax was too young to take over. Hell, he didn’t have the same love for the ranch that Pops and I had.
Maybe that’s because he didn’t get the chance, or maybe because he grew up knowing it’d never be his.
The plan was also for me to take over one day.
If we’d given him an opportunity to step up, things might have been different. ”
She tried to focus on his words but couldn’t make sense of the puzzling explanation. “You couldn’t give it some time to see how Dax would handle things?”
A pained expression pinched his face. “We didn’t have the luxury of time.”
Something in his voice made her stomach drop. She waited for him to say more, the hum of the refrigerator the only sound in the room.
“My dad has Parkinson’s.”
The news stole her breath. “What? No. That can’t be right.” She couldn’t align the same smiling, teasing man she was with earlier that evening with a person struggling with Parkinson’s disease.
Madden sighed and closed his eyes for a beat. When he opened them again, tears glimmered in the corners. “No one knows. Not even Dax.”
“But why?”
He let his head fall forward. “Dad was diagnosed right before I came home. When he realized I couldn’t handle as much of the workload, he finally broke down and told me he couldn’t either.
Knowing Dax was too young, he decided to sell.
Those developers had been sniffing around for a while, and he knew he could get a good price.
He just wanted to be done with it before things took a turn for the worse. ”
When his voice cracked, she shifted her chair to sit beside him and rested a palm on his arm. “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I hate the position you both have been in. But why the secrecy? People around here would want to help. Pitch in and lend a hand whenever necessary.”
He snorted. “Picture your own father when he gets home from the hospital. Do you think he’ll want a bunch of people fussing over him, showing their sympathy for what happened?”
She hated how the word if sat on the tip of her tongue when thinking about her dad’s return home, but she kept that to herself. “Okay. That sounds like his version of hell.”
“Exactly,” Madden said. “And that would only be temporary, until he got back on his feet. With my dad, he’ll continue to get worse until…
” He stopped and cleared his throat before drawing in a long, shuddering breath.
“He doesn’t want the pity or feeling like he needs a handout.
He’d rather have anger and condemnation.
I might not agree, but the least I can do is honor his wishes.
Give him a sense of a control over a disease that will end up taking everything from him. ”
Unable to ignore the raw emotion pouring off him, Lily folded him in her arms, mindful of his shoulder.
He stiffened for a second before melting against her. His head falling to the crook of her neck and hands reaching around to grip the material of her T-shirt at the small of her back. “I’m going to lose him, and before that, I’ll watch him deteriorate little by little.”
She held him tight, wishing she could pour whatever strength or courage she had into him. A hundred clichéd responses flitted through her mind, but none of them would mean anything. Nothing she said would make his situation better or ease the burden he carried. Words didn’t mean a damn thing.
Leaning back, she moved one hand to cradle his jawline. The rough whiskers tickled her palm. She dipped her chin to stare directly into his sad eyes. “I’m sorry I made an already tough situation tougher. From here on out, whatever you need, I’m here. For you, your dad and even Dax.”
A glimmer of a smile touched his lips. “Not sure there’s much you, or anyone else, can do.”
“I can listen. I can stand beside you. I can be your friend.” A swift desire to show him how much she cared raced through her like a raging river. Before she talked herself out of it, she gently pressed her lips to his. “I can be whatever you need me to be.”
His hand came up and gripped her wrist. His gaze, so full of questions, stared at her. “Earlier, you said we shouldn’t.”
“I was so surprised that I don’t remember what I said, only how I felt. And damn it, Madden, I felt good. You make me feel good. I’m sorry if I made you think otherwise.” She kissed him again as if to put an exclamation mark on her point. “Thank you for confiding in me.”
Leaning forward, he rested his forehead on hers and sighed. “I’ve held this in for so long. Letting it out helps.”
“For what it’s worth, I think you should tell Dax. He deserves to know the truth, and if there’s one thing I’ve learned the last couple days, it’s that secrets hurt others. Even if you’re keeping them to protect the ones you love.”
He skimmed his knuckles down her sides until he rested his hands on her hips. “You’re right. It’s past time we told him. But I don’t want to think about Dax or my dad any more tonight.”
Sensing his need for levity after such a heavy admission, she grinned. “Is it time to finally cook those peas?”
He chuckled, the sound like cashmere against her skin. “Nah, no more plans for peas. I have something a lot more appetizing in mind.”
In one swift movement, he stood and scooped her into his arms. Pain shot up his arm, but no amount of discomfort could stop him. He stalked past the pullout couch and made a beeline for her bedroom, leaving the barely touched apple pie she’d craved behind.
But now, she had a different craving. One that promised her a night she’d never forget.