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Chapter one

Wylan

Present day.

“Mother fuckin’ fiddlesticks!”

My body vibrates with laughter as I sit in front of my grandfather in his swanky new retirement home. A sense of pride washes over me as I take in his space, with its fancy white walls and large, floor-to-ceiling windows displaying the gardens outside. It might cost me a pretty penny, but I vowed years ago to give him only the best.

“Aren’t you supposed to drop the curse words when you use old man words like fiddlesticks ?”

“Bullshit.” Grandpa waves his free hand in the air. “An old man doesn’t have to follow any rules when he hits a certain age.”

I reveal my winning hand and place the cards down on the table in front of us.

Grandpa snorts and rolls his eyes. “Boy, you gotta work on your damn poker face. You might have won, but I could tell you had a good hand a mile away.”

Just then, the alarm on my phone shatters our little bubble. I silence it and stand. “Okay, Pops. I gotta go meet my friends, then start my shift at work.”

Grandpa narrows his eyes at me. “Is this the job at that fancy restaurant?”

I nod. “You know it is,” I say as I gather my things and place everything in my messenger bag.

He shakes his head. “I just don’t understand why continue to work there when you have plenty of money in that damn trust fund your parents set up for you.”

Closing my eyes, I let out a slow breath and count to five. “Grandpa. I don’t want to talk about it again today.” A pang of guilt slices through me. Grandpa has no idea that I refuse to touch that money for myself. They don’t get to kick me out of their lives for my sexuality and then try to throw money at me as a way of asking for forgiveness.

The day they kicked me out was one of the worst days of my life. Being disowned by my heartless parents was painful enough, but not only that, I’d had no money or street smarts. At sixteen, I experienced homelessness for roughly a month before my grandpa found out and took me in.

Grandpa accepted me, gave me a home, and banned my parents from visiting. When I turned twenty, I was sent paperwork that gave me access to my trust fund, along with an apology. I reached out once, only to be sorely disappointed. My parents were still homophobic and cold. Nothing would change that. Since that day, I’d refused to touch the money they set aside. Until Grandpa’s legs started to give out.

The doctors and specialists were unable to help him, no matter what kind of treatment or physical therapy he did. His muscles continued to weaken, leaving him barely able to walk. Grandpa needed more help than I could provide, and I wanted him to have the best. Together, we packed up our lives and moved to Southern California, where I found a retirement home I knew he would love.

The waiting list had finally opened, and we were both eager to get him out of the other location and into this one. The facility is nice, with lots of activities to keep him social.

Hell, if I’m being honest, I would love to live here too. Unfortunately, this place is extremely expensive, more so than other retirement homes. He’s under the impression his retirement covers the costs and has no idea I’m paying for part of it with my income and the rest with my trust fund. If Grandpa knew, he would probably blow a gasket and then insist on moving into my place instead.

Then he’d really see how frugal I’m living.

Leaning over him, so he doesn’t have to stand, I wrap him in a hug. “Don’t tell me you’re getting judgmental in your old age,” I joke.

He pulls me tighter against his slim body, happy that he’s finally putting on that extra weight he’d needed.

“I would never judge you for your job. As long as you’re happy and can pay the bills, it’s not a bother to me.” Grandpa gives me an all-knowing look. “But don’t forget, son. I know you. You want more in life. My money says you’re staying there for that pretty boss of yours.”

My mouth falls open in shock, and my cheeks heat. “Grandpa! Seth isn’t pretty!” Pretty is the last word that would pop into my mind when thinking about my dominant yet charming boss, with all his muscles and chiseled features. “And how the hell would you even know what he looks like?”

He smirks. “After you rambled on for hours about him, I convinced Nurse Joy to let me on the internets. He was a damn good-looking man—hot, according to Joy. Your Bossman looks like that damn superhero. What’s his name again? The blond with the long hair and the hammer?”

“Thor,” I mumble, my cheeks still on fire. Oh god, it’s true. He looks like Thor, only hotter. Who knew such a thing was even possible?

He snaps his fingers. “That’s the one. Pretty, if you ask me. All that long hair. Ask that man on a date and bring him by.”

I shake my head in horror. Asking my crush—aka my boss—out on a date is absolutely out of the question. As if it’s that easy.

“I’m only getting older,” he says, suddenly sounding serious. I sit up, alarmed. My eyes bounce around, taking in his appearance and trying to find something that’s wrong.

“Are you okay?”

He waves a hand in the air nonchalantly. “Of course, I am. I just want to make sure you have a good, solid man to take care of you when I’m gone.”

My face softens. “I can take care of myself, Pops.”

“I know you can, but I also know you want a real Daddy in your life.”

I blink. Did my grandfather just tell me I need a… no. There’s no fucking way. I’m close with Grandpa, but there’s no way in hell I would ever discuss my submissive tendencies and my yearning for a Daddy. Nope. Nope. Nope.

“I’m sorry, I think I misunderstood—”

“That Carl man you brought by last year? He is no Daddy. Please tell me you gave him the boot because that man can’t take care of a damn cactus, let alone someone as sparkling as you. I’d bet my left foot on it.”

My mouth falls open for what must be the fifth time in less than ten minutes. I’m speechless. No. I’m dead. I died. It’s the only reason I can come up with as to how my sweet, elderly grandpa knows about my kinky desires and search for a Daddy.

“No,” I whisper, remembering that day Carl ‘ accidentally ’ left me at Silk. That day changed me. When I realized Carl was trying to make his ex-boyfriend jealous by flaunting me around the restaurant, I was horrified. When his attempts to start a scene backfired, Carl turned cruel. That week was the first time he showed his true colors. The man I thought I was falling for suddenly had so many red flags, I knew I had to get out of that relationship. And when he left me there in the restaurant, I didn’t follow.

Instead, Seth took care of me. In just one sweet, caring conversation, Seth showed me what a true Daddy should look like. That day, Seth unknowingly gave me a gift. And I was smitten. Unfortunately, Seth isn’t a Daddy, no matter how many times I imagine he’s mine.

“I dumped Carl a while ago.” I swallow hard, trying not to picture what my life would look like if I’d stayed with that horrible man.

“Good.” Grandpa pats me on the leg. “I think that’s what I want for Christmas this year. I want you to find yourself a good man. Or better yet, ask Thor out on a date. Then bring him by.”

My lips tilt up into a smile, despite my pounding heart. “And now you’re meddling. Maybe it’s not good for you to be around so many people your age.”

Grandpa barks out a laugh. “I just want my grandson happy.”

“And what, he thinks you need a man in order to be happy?” Riley asks, outraged on my behalf.

Ash giggles, bouncing in his seat. “Correction, he thinks Wylan needs a Daddy to be happy.”

I bury my face in my hands and groan. “Oh god. I can’t believe he knows. He probably heard me call my ex that.”

Jules nudges me with his foot as he swipes through his phone. “Concentrate. Concentrate,” he orders in a fake commanding tone. “We need to fill out this application before the deadline.”

Biting my lip nervously, I glance over at Jules. “Are you sure this is the best way to find a Daddy? I’m not your typical boy,” I say with a frown. Cheerful, instrumental Christmas music is playing lightly through the overhead speakers. It’s a stark contrast to the sudden wave of sadness I feel.

Riley, Ash, Jules, and I are sitting in a booth at Silk before I start my shift. For the past month, we’ve gotten together every Wednesday for lunch before my night shift—a new tradition for the four of us. Hearing about Carl’s betrayal, Riley and Jules offered their support, aware that I didn’t have many friends in Olivia Cove. They introduced me to their friend group. I was shocked to discover that Olivia Cove has a small BDSM community. I was even more shocked when I found out all my new friends were submissive in one way or another.

Ash and Riley are littles who love age play, and Jules is a fox into pet play. Me, on the other hand? I’m not entirely sure what I am, or if I even need to put a title on it. Hence my problem with finding the right Daddy for me.

Ash frowns at me. “Don’t say that. I don’t think any of us are typical. Any Daddy would be happy to have you.”

Jules nods. “Trust me, my Daddy said that these charity auctions are always a success. They connect boys and littles with their new Daddies all the time. It’s for a good cause, and it’s just one date. Worst-case scenario, you don’t click with the Daddy who bids on you, and the two of you go your separate ways.”

Just then, my co-worker, Cate, drops off our salads. We smile and thank her, making sure not to say anything else until she leaves. But as soon as she does, we dig into our food. Riley giggles, asking Jules to continue filling out our applications.

Unlike me, my bestie is excited to take part in this auction. At least he knows exactly what he likes and how he fits into the kink community.

“What exactly are you looking for in a Daddy?” Jules asks, pointing at his phone.

I let out a deep sigh. “Someone caring and sweet. I don’t think I want a really serious Daddy.” My thoughts stray to Carl. Yeah, I definitely want someone who’s the opposite. “Maybe someone with a sense of humor?”

“I don’t understand why you just don’t make a move on Seth,” Riley says, swinging his feet back and forth under the table. “You clearly have a crush on the guy.”

My eyes widen with shock as I kick Riley. My gaze bounces around the restaurant. “Riley. Shut. Up. He’s usually here around this time.” Oh god, I feel like I’m in high school all over again. Imagine working with Seth all night, and he’s aware of my crush—how awkward would that be?

Riley makes a motion as if he’s zipping his lips closed.

Jules giggles. “You and Seth would totally be hot together.” He tilts his head playfully to the side, reminding me of a puppy. “Although Master Seth has a few kinks I’m not quite sure you’re into.”

My fork clatters to my plate. “Ma-Master Seth? Did you just call him Master?”

Ash arches a brow. “You don’t know?”

I gasp, my gaze bouncing between my friends. “Know what? I just kind of assumed Seth wasn’t kinky.”

Jules bursts into laughter. “You’ve been working with the guy for how long and didn’t know he was kinky?”

Riley rolls his eyes. “Um, I’m sorry, but who talks with their coworkers or boss about their kinks?”

Ash laughs. “True. It took me years to tell my best friend I was kinky. It’s not always as easy to discuss such intimate things with people we know. It’s not like the movies make it out to be.”

I nod frantically. “I don’t really tell anyone—unless it’s a Daddy I’m dating. It’s why I’m so grateful you three are in my life now.” I wave around at the three of them. “I’ve never had this before.”

Riley grins and gives me a side hug.

“You’re right.” Jules smiles. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it. I was just shocked. Seth is really well known at Dark Satin. He’s one of the Doms who volunteers to give demonstrations on safe practices.”

Hope fills my chest. Could Seth be a Daddy? “You said he has a few kinks you’re not sure I’m into?”

Jules nods. “If you start going to the club with us regularly, you’ll probably get to see his demos. I won’t go into it since I can’t really speak for Seth, but he makes it very obvious that he likes a little edge of pain.”

My heart pounds in a frantic, excited beat as blood rushes to my head. “Giving or receiving?” I whisper.

“Both. But enough of that, let’s finish this application.” Jules waves his phone. “You wanted me to select that you’re a sub looking for a Daddy. Now it wants me to get a little more specific. Do you consider yourself a little, a middle, a boy, a pet, or maybe ‘other?’”

“This is exactly what I was referring to when I said I wasn’t typical. Other.”

“Okay, it’s asking you for an explanation.” Jules tries to hand me his phone, but I shake my head.

“It’s okay. I wanted you to fill it out for me. It helps me not freak out so much.”

Jules nods. “Okay, what do you want me to put here?”

I think about it for a moment. What’s the best way to describe myself that would make sense to a Dom? Taking a deep breath, I lay everything out for Jules. Riley and Ash hum encouragingly as Jules types.

“Anything else I should add?”

Glancing around at my friends, I have this insane urge to tell them. I take a deep breath and let out a truth I’ve never admitted to anyone before. “You can go ahead and add that as long as I’m safe, I like a little bite of pain when turned on.”

Jules’ fingers fly across the screen as Ash’s head snaps up, and I glance over at my best friend.

Riley’s eyes sparkle. “Well, now. Looks like Wylan and Seth might have more in common than we realized.”

“I wonder if my Daddy can convince a certain Dom to participate in the Christmas Charity Auction.” Jules has a small, calculating smile on his face. “In the meantime, have I ever told you about the time I learned how to flirt?”