Page 39 of Wrecked (McIntyre Security Bodyguard #16)

Dear God, he’s a sight for sore eyes . I scan Sam from head to toe, from his beautiful red hair piled on top of his head, down his lean, muscular body, to his chunky black boots. He hasn’t changed one bit. He’s just as gorgeous as the man who’s been haunting my dreams for the past few months.

Right now, he’s staring at me like he’s seeing a ghost.

“Sorry, darlin’,” I say. “I didn’t mean to scare you.”

“You could have warned me,” he says as he tries to catch his breath. “You scared the hell outta me.”

When I take the necessary steps to close the distance between us, Sam automatically moves backward, his back hitting the door.

I know he’s probably mad at me for not being upstairs to greet him. Shane told me he was bringing Sam upstairs to see Beth first. “I couldn’t do this with an audience.”

Sam swallows hard. “Do what?”

“See you again.” As if that isn’t obvious. I haven’t laid eyes on him for three months. I haven’t heard his voice. We’ve had no contact at all.

To my surprise, I’m nervous as hell as I approach him. My body comes alive for the first time since he left. He’s paler than I remember, and that makes his freckles more pronounced. His brown eyes are wide as he watches me approach. I feel like a predator tracking down its prey.

As I close the distance between us, his nostrils flare. His posture tenses, and he’s fairly vibrating with repressed energy. I glance down to see the tell-tale ridge of a growing erection pressing against his jeans. And I’d be lying if I didn’t say I was relieved to see that.

But suddenly, signs of his growing arousal morph into anger and resentment. His brow furrows. “Well, you’ve seen me.” He points to the door behind him. “You can go now.”

When I take another step, he throws up his hands as if to hold me off. “No, Cooper. We’re not going to just pick up where we left off. If that’s what you came here for, you’d better go.”

His words say one thing, but his body language says something quite different. His cheeks are flushed, his pupils are dilated, and that ridge behind his jeans has doubled in size. He’s clearly aroused.

I grab his wrists and pin them to the door above his head.

“Don’t!” he snaps, anger rolling off him in waves.

But the interesting thing is, he’s not fighting me. He’s not struggling against my hold or trying to pull away.

“Don’t what?” I ask, getting in his face and challenging him.

He narrows his eyes defiantly. “Don’t you dare kiss me.”

Even as he says that, his gaze drops to my mouth.

“Who said I was going to kiss you?”

Suddenly, all the bravado leaves him. “Cooper, please don’t,” he says, sounding vulnerable and defeated.

That stops me in my tracks. I would never do something he truly didn’t want me to do. “Why not?” I glance down at the obvious sign of his arousal. “Looks like you want me to.”

Sam shakes his head. “I don’t. I can’t keep doing this. Not unless something changes.”

Fuck. “What we have together is good, damn it! Why can’t you be happy with that?”

“Because I’m sick and tired of being your dirty little secret! If you don’t want me enough to man up—”

I hate it when he refers to our relationship as dirty . It’s not! It’s… it’s everything to me! I need him like I need my next breath. I need him like I can’t live without him—because I can’t! These past few months have been fucking hell!

Desperate to touch him, to taste him again, I crush my mouth against his. The kiss is hard, hot and heavy, almost punishing. I taste blood, but I don’t know whose it is. I’m not sure it really matters.

I transfer both his wrists into one of my hands, freeing up the other so I can grip his jaw. “I fucking love you, and you know it!”

Sam makes a pained sound that hits me in the gut. He winces as he shifts his hips, probably trying to make room in his trousers for his straining cock.

I transfer my mouth to his jaw, and he groans as I kiss my way down the side of his neck to the spot where I once gave him a hickey. The bruise is long gone, his skin pristine again and begging for my mark.

I turn him to face the door so I can grind my erection between his ass cheeks.

“You think I don’t want you?” I hiss in his ear.

“Do you feel that, you little prick?” I shove myself against him.

“That’s me, wanting you. I want you so badly I can barely fucking breathe!

I love you, and you left me!” Those last three words are ripped right out of me. “You little shit!”

I press myself against him, hard, a mimic of the thrusting I want to be doing.

Sam groans loudly as he starts to push back against me. He sags against the door. “Cooper, please .”

Please what? I don’t know what he wants. Please stop? Please fuck me?

He’s breathing hard now, sucking air into his lungs.

When his left leg buckles, I catch him around the waist. “Do you feel this?” I ask as I grind my cock against his ass. “Do you?”

“Yes!”

“Does this feel like I don’t want you?”

“No!” His one-word answer comes out like a raw scream.

I grab the back of his neck and march him toward the bedroom. The apartment is dark, and he stumbles. I use my other hand to steady him.

When we reach our destination, I push him face down on the mattress. I realize I’m furious with him, still, for leaving me without so much as a fucking word. “You are fucking mine , do you hear me?”

“Yes!” He’s shaking. “Cooper, please .”

“Please what?” I take a deep breath and try to calm myself. “Tell me what you want, Sam.”

“I can’t do this right now.” He means it.

Immediately, I release him and step back. He sits up at the foot of the bed and stares down at the floor.

“Do you want me to go?” I realize I might have pushed him too hard. He’s pulling away from me. My gut twists into a painful knot.

Finally, he looks up at me. “No!” He sounds panicked now. “I don’t want you to go.”

“You don’t want me, but you don’t want me to leave either? What the hell do you want?”

He surprises me when he reaches for my hand. Then he stands and faces me. “Stay with me tonight. No sex, just sleep with me. I’ve spent the past three months alone in my bed, missing you. Needing you. Stay with me tonight. Please.”

“You’re the one who left.” I can’t help the tinge of resentment in my voice.

“I know, and I’m sorry.” He cups my face and brushes his thumbs along my cheeks. “I love you, Cooper. It killed me to leave, but when you refused to dance with me at Beth’s wedding… it was the last straw.”

He goes on about that day and how what I did made him feel. I can barely follow what he’s saying because there’s a rushing sound in my head. All I can focus on are four little words he said: “I love you, Cooper.” I release a pent-up breath, because if he loves me, there’s a chance we can save this.

“I need you to stand up with me, claim me, claim us,” he says. “I need you to be my boyfriend , not just my fuck-buddy.”

What he’s asking seems so simple on the surface, but for me it’s anything but. It means risking everything. It means dredging up old trauma and trying to make it right.

I start pacing. When I finally stop and face him, I cup his beautiful face in my hands. “All right, I’ll stay.” I tuck some loose strands of hair behind his ear. “You need to eat. Let’s order in, and we’ll watch a movie or see if there’s a game on tonight. How does that sound?”

Instantly, he relaxes and smiles. “That sounds great.”

I let out a breath. Crisis averted, at least for now. But I know time is running out. I have to fix this between us, and that means going home to Sweetwater and facing my past. It means getting justice for Cody. But more importantly, it means facing my fears and embracing a future with Sam.

I pull him into my arms and kiss him gently. “Welcome home, Sam.”

He relaxes against me. “It’s good to be home.”

* * *

We order in food and watch a Chicago Bulls versus Knicks game on TV. We’re seated side by side, with our bare feet propped up on the coffee table. It’s pretty much like old times, very relaxed. Sam leans into me. I lay my hand on his thigh.

It’s getting late, and before long, Sam starts to doze off. I’m sure he’s exhausted from the trip home. I nudge him gently. “Come on, kid. You’re tuckered out. Let’s get you to bed.”

I stand and pull him to his feet. While he stops in the bathroom to get ready for bed, I pull the bedding down, then take a seat at the foot of the bed.

I’ve made up my mind. I’m going home to fix things so I can come back to Sam with a clean conscience and ready to move forward.

At Shane’s request, Jake agreed to come with me.

We’re leaving in the morning. I’m not going to tell Sam about this.

Not until after it’s done and I’m free to give him what he wants.

Sam walks into the bedroom wearing just a pair of gray boxers. I can’t help my reaction to seeing him practically naked. Heat shoots through me, down my spine to pool between my legs. God, I want him. It’s been so long. I’d give anything to fuck him right this minute.

I stand and point to the bed. “In you go.”

“You’re going to stay, right? You said you would.”

Yes, I’m a glutton for punishment, kid.

I sigh. “I’ll stay.” What other choice do I have?

As Sam climbs into bed, I go to the bathroom and get ready for bed. When I return, I slide into bed beside him and pull him into my arms. He rests his head on my chest and lays an arm across my waist.

It feels so good to lie with him like this. He’s home, with me. I rub circles on his bare back, smiling when I feel him shiver. At least I know he’s not completely immune to me.

Sam groans against my skin as he presses his face into my shoulder. I’m getting hard all over again from his proximity, and if I had to guess, he is, too.

But I’m going to honor my promise. No sex. I don’t want him to think that’s all I want him for. It’s not.

I kiss his forehead. “Sleep, baby. Your body needs sleep to heal.”