Page 53 of Worst Nanny Ever (Babes of Brewing #2)

I pull on the shirt, then tug on a pair of shorts. “I’m going,” I say, kissing the top of her head as she pulls on a skirt. “I need?—”

“Go.”

I run to the front door and throw it open, and instant horror buckets through me. It’s Lilah, holding a stuffed koala and a bunch of balloons as if she’s throwing herself a party. She looks fresh and dewy, like she didn’t just step off a plane, so she probably got in last night.

“What the fuck?” I say before I can stop myself.

She gives me a scathing look. “Have you been swearing in front of my child?”

Her child.

Her child?

Rage grips me first, followed by fear. Because she’s obviously here to take Ollie away from me.

I remind myself of the emergency custody order. My lawyer walked me through this. He said I don’t have to let her leave with Ollie, and in this case, I can’t.

“No, and he’s not here,” I say as Hannah emerges from the back of the house wearing the outfit she brought—a soft blue-green sweater and a flowing white skirt. “He’s staying with a friend for the night.”

It would probably be smarter to pretend Hannah’s just a friend, or to introduce her as the nanny, but I don’t owe Lilah any explanations. I wrap my arm around my woman.

“I see,” Lilah says icily .

“You didn’t tell me you were coming,” I say with an equal dose of frost. “You said you’d be impossible to contact for the next few weeks.”

“Are you going to invite me in?” she asks, brushing her hair back over her shoulder. It’s an old move, meant to show off her neck and long, glossy hair, but I’m completely immune to her now.

I step aside and gesture for her to enter.

Lilah walks in, glancing pointedly at Hannah. After I shut the door, she says, “Don’t you think it would be better to send her on her way? We have to talk about Ollie’s future.”

I tighten my grip on Hannah. “Then I can think of no better person to be here. Hannah’s been helping me with Ollie. School lets out right when I go to work. She’s been spending afternoons with him.”

“I thought you got him a nanny?” Lilah scoffs.

“He did,” Hannah finally says, sweet as sugar. “I am the nanny.”

“You’re sleeping with your nanny, Travis?

How cliché.” Her comment is directed at me, as if Hannah doesn’t exist, and I clench my jaw, trying to get myself back under control.

I don’t want this to devolve into some ugly court battle that goes on for months.

Maybe years. If I can’t avoid it, I will absolutely go that route, but it would be better for everyone if we can settle things peacefully.

“Yeah,” Hannah says, her tone still like syrup. “That’s what they call a bonus. Why are you here, Lilah?”

She thrusts out the stuffed animal. “I got this for Ollie.”

“Super,” Hannah says. “He hates koalas. His favorite animals are turtles.”

“Are you going to let her talk to me like that, Travis?” Lilah snaps, turning toward me.

“I don’t tell my girlfriend how to talk,” I say.

“She’s protective of Ollie, and I’m grateful for that.

So am I.” I pause, trying to collect myself, then say, “ You kept him from me , Lilah, for nearly seven years.” My voice rises, so I take a deep breath.

“I didn’t know I had a son. I missed so much.

His first steps. His first words. The first day he went to school. I’ll never get any of that back.”

Surprise ripples across her face, like it never occurred to her that she was taking something away from me.

She tries to set the koala down on the coffee table, but it tumbles to the floor, the balloons detaching and floating up to the ceiling.

Annoyance flickers in her eyes, and I’m not surprised when she tries to turn it around on me.

“You lied to me too,” she says. “Your father was famous, and you never said a word.”

“What, you think you missed out on your big chance with him?” I ask.

“You know, he probably would have been thrilled to get attention from you, just like Roland, but he was already dying. I didn’t find out until later, when I got to Asheville.

My dad and I weren’t talking anymore. I had no reason to think he’d ever want to talk to me again. ”

There’s a worried look on her face now, like it’s occurred to her that he might not have left me anything after all. But she snaps out of it, clearing all emotion from her face. “You’ve always liked your secrets, Travis.”

“I did,” I say, feeling the birthmark on my forehead as if it’s a brand. “But not anymore. That’s not who I want to be. I want to be Ollie’s father.”

Hannah squeezes my hand.

“Well, he can’t stay here forever, obviously,” Lilah says.

Bitter rage nearly shatters me, and it’s only Hannah’s hand in mine that keeps me from coming apart.

That allows me to say what needs to be said in an even tone.

“You left him here for almost two months as if he were some kind of handbag you weren’t sure you wanted to bother claiming from the lost and found.

He didn’t deserve that. He’s a good kid.

So smart and funny and talented. He’s in school here, and he’s doing well, and I love him .

I love him , Lilah. I have emergency protective custody, and you’ve almost been away for sixty days, which is the state’s standard for abandonment.

If you want to take him away from me, you’re going to have to fight for it in court.

And then you’ll have two court cases underway. ”

She looks shocked, maybe because I’ve never spoken to her like this before. Not even the day she left me.

“You’re being unreasonable, Travis,” she says, glancing at Hannah. “I think we should have this conversation privately.”

“Anything you have to say to me, you can say in front of Hannah.”

“Well…” She glances at Hannah again, nervously, which is probably wise, because Hannah’s giving her a death glare.

“There’s no reason we can’t settle this out of court.

If you start paying me child support, I can send him to Gentleman’s Crest. It’s this boarding school in Nashville.

My friend has some connections with the admissions?—”

“Over my dead body,” Hannah snarls.

“He’s not going to boarding school,” I say, holding Hannah close. “I want him here. Living in my house. Sleeping in his room. I don’t have any objection to you seeing him or spending time with him, but I want him to live here.”

She plants a hand on her hip. “Travis, he didn’t want me to leave him here. I doubt he wants to stay. This is the best solution for everyone.”

“No shit, he didn’t want to stay,” I say, some of that awful, bitter rage slipping out.

“He didn’t know who I was until you left him at my door.

A stranger’s door. You and I hadn’t talked more than once in seven years.

You didn’t know anything about me. But you left him here anyway.

Even though he begged you not to. And you called him all of three times. One of those times he was asleep .”

“I knew you were a good guy,” she says, flushing slightly. “I knew nothing would happen to him.”

“You hoped ,” I say. “That’s not enough for me.

I need to know he’s safe and cared for. I need to know you’re not going to leave him with someone else you’re sure is a good person because you hung out with them a few times nearly a decade ago.

Now that I know about him, I can’t erase that knowledge, and I don’t want to. He’s my son. I want him here.”

Lilah’s expression softens a little. “I had no idea you felt like this.”

“Because you didn’t give me a chance to process everything before you took off.”

The doorbell rings, and Hannah and I exchange a look, because I can’t imagine who it could be. Rob, maybe, but it would be strange for him to show up this early without calling, especially since he knows I drop Ollie off at school in the morning.

“Just a second,” I say, then stalk through the room to the foyer and open the front door.

I open it, and to my shock, Ollie and Dottie pile in. Ollie’s wearing an outfit that makes him look like a Boy Scout, complete with a small, collared shirt and brown pants with a belt, and it would probably make me laugh under other circumstances.

“I thought we were supposed to pick him up,” I say, panic shooting through me. He’s going to want to leave with her. She’s going to take him. Everything we’ve been building will be lost.

I wrap my arms around him, and he lets me. Thank God, he lets me.

“Oh dear,” Dottie says, laughing. “We must have gotten our wires crossed. I woke up this morning positively certain that I needed to come here. I felt it down to my bones, even though our messages said something different, but you know my bones are getting older these days. Well, no harm done.” Her gaze settles on my hair, and she grins.

“You have a heart on your forehead, my dear. I never saw the shape of it before. How marvelous.”

“I like it,” Ollie says. “I can see your face better.” Then he squints up at the ceiling and points his little finger. “What’s that?”

One of the balloons has strayed into the foyer from the living room like something out of a horror movie.

“Ollie,” I say, releasing him and crouching down so we’re on the same level. “Your mom?—”

Lilah steps into view through the archway to the living room, Hannah hot on her heels. And I’ll be damned, Lilah is holding that stupid koala again.

“I’m back from my trip!” she announces sunnily, as if it’s no big deal. As if she went to the corner store. “Here’s the koala I got you. Isn’t he fuzzy?”

My heart hurts so much worse right now than it did yesterday, when the band Rob and I had built from nothing was on the verge of breaking and I thought it might be forever. He’s going to run to her. He’s going to ask to leave.

I’ll still have to tell him no, but it’ll break my heart.

But he doesn’t. He pushes the koala away and bursts into jagged sobs. “I don’t want it. I hate koalas, and I hate Australia. I don’t want to go anywhere with you. Please don’t make me leave. Please. I want to stay with Dad.”

It’s the first time he’s called me that. A sense of wonder steals over me, but Lilah looks like he just struck her. “Did he tell you to say that, Ollie? Did Travis tell you which words to use when I came back?”

“No,” Ollie says through tears. “Dad’s never told me what to say. I like it here.” He turns to me. “Don’t make me leave. Please. I know what I said when I first got here, but it’s not true. I don’t want to go. Please don’t make me go.”

I’m still crouching down, so I pull him close and hug him, feeling his tears against my neck. Something breaks inside of me and is rebuilt stronger. No matter what happens, I won’t allow him to leave my life again. I won’t allow him to be ignored or mistreated by anyone, including myself.

“Don’t you want to hear about my trip?” Lilah asks, still holding the koala.

“No,” Ollie shouts. Directly into my ear.

I nearly fall over, but I’ll happily risk the hearing deficit, because my son’s clinging to me now.

“I want to go to school,” he says quickly in an undertone.

“Mrs. Applebaum doesn’t like it when I’m late, and I have to talk to Mickey. I don’t want to disappoint him.”

“They’re friends now,” Hannah says softly, watching us with a reassuring smile. I know she’s putting on a front for me, though. I can tell she’s scared too. Scared and pissed off.

“How about you stay here and spend time with me, Ollie?” Lilah says.

“I don’t want to miss school.”

Lilah gives a bitter laugh. “Well, he certainly sounds like your son, Travis.”

“I’m going to take him to school,” I say, not letting go of him. “We’ll talk when I get back.”

“Splendid,” Dottie says, clapping her hands, and I’m taken aback by the reminder that she’s still here. “We’ll let Travis bring Ollie to school, and I’ll make some tea for us girls. Won’t that be a lovely restart to the day?”

“Who are you?” Lilah says coldly.

Dottie gives her a surprisingly stern look. “I’m someone who cares very deeply about the well-being of both of these young men. And Hannah, of course. But something tells me that my confused old bones aren’t the reason for my visit this morning after all. I was drawn here because I’m needed.”

I’m not so sure I believe in that. But I do believe in her.

I glance at Hannah. “Are you okay with this, or would you like to come with us?”

“I’m staying,” she says, but she walks over to Ollie and gives him a hug. “You say hey to Mrs. Applebaum for me, okay? Let me know if she has that hedgehog back up and running.”

Ollie casts an anxious look at Lilah, then detaches from Hannah for a second to walk over to his mother. He gives her a quick hug, but his face is full of a pain I can feel in my own chest.

“Goodbye, Lilah,” he says.

Maybe I’m not a good man, because I hope that fucking hurts.