Page 31 of Word to the Wise
When it’s all I want and all we can be.
After Carter, I don’t know how to trust another man with my body, much less my heart.
“Good.” His eyes skim down, and he swallows when his gaze pauses on my thin tank top.
I forgot to put on a bra since I was the only one home, and with his attention, my nipples pebble under the thin fabric.
“I’ll get changed.” I step back, realizing I shouldn’t be walking around the apartment like this, much less in public.
Mason glances up at me, the smallest smile crawling up in the corner of his mouth. “I mean, I wasn’t complaining.”
His flirty comment should terrify me when Carter would have called me desperate for wearing this around another man. Instead, it does something else. Something unexplainable. My stomach flips over on itself, and I don’t mind it.
Mason looks at me like I don’t need to be ashamed of his attention. Like my body isn’t something I need to hide for fear of being called names. I’m still reconciling the red flags versus the green ones given Carter would have berated me for this outfit.
I spent the past six years of my life trying to be everything for one man—only to have him still hate me for it.
Maybe if I tried a little harder, ate a little less, wore more makeup, he’d finally say I’m pretty and make me feel special like he did when we first met. Maybe if I acted like I wanted to touch him, he’d stop sleeping with other women. Maybe at some point, I will be enough.
All Carter’s training did was chip away at my confidence.
But Mason isn’t Carter.
He doesn’t look at me like he wants to change me. He looks at me like I’m deserving of an ounce of attention.
“Still…” I take a breath, trying to steady my heart rate. “I think I’ll at least put on a bra and pants.”
“Your call.” Mason smiles so big it hits me in the center of my ribs.
So bright, I feel warmth I haven’t felt in a month—a year. Heat in the cold cavity of my chest. A smile so genuine, I find my own, just when I thought maybe I was no longer capable.
“Give me five minutes.” Turning away, I walk to my room as fast as I can.
My heart is racing, and I need a little distance.
Mason is flirty with women, so I know it’s not just me. Still, I let myself feel it. I let myself appreciate him seeing me as more than the messy, broken girl who showed up here a month ago.
And then I bury the feeling.
He’s being nice, and I appreciate all he’s doing, but we’re just friends.
Slipping into jeans, I throw on a bra and sweater and turn to face myself in the mirror. My cheeks glow for the first time in weeks, and they’re still flushed from Mason’s attention.
Carter broke me, but I’m still here. I’m still worth looking at.
Reed Jackson’s story isn’t over yet.
10
Mason
It’s been over amonth since I’ve fucked anyone.
That’s what I tell myself every time Reed bends over in front of me or forgets to wear a bra around the apartment. Much less when she just smiles, even the slightest, and her whole face brightens up.
I tell myself I’m not a complete douchebag, and that it’s just been a while since I’ve gotten laid, so my body isn’t used to it.
I try to ignore the fact that it’s never been an issue before. I’ve gone months without sleeping with anyone and survived. It’s a need I fill when I’m bored or looking for a distraction. But it’s not an actual problem.
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