Page 19

CHAPTER 19 - ASTRA

“I t’s not goodbye, Little Wolf.” Raze cupped my cheek, his fingers twitching, his glare shooting to Luna and Talon, who waited on his doorstep, ready to collect me. “It’s goodbye for now, and I’ll see you very shortly.” The tremble in his voice almost brought me to my knees.

I hoped he was right, because my heart couldn’t take it when it felt like a steamroller rolled over it three times. My voice locked up, and I couldn’t get out a word. Instead, I showed him with my body how I felt, squeezing him as hard as I could, until my fingers ached, and my muscles quaked. He tucked me under his arms, a broken bird about to fly away from her nest for the first time.

Last night, he held me while I cried, and when I fell asleep, he slipped out of the cabin to howl at the moon. I crept outside and found him in Lycan form and stroked his fur until he shifted back.

The strain in his shoulders and torso said my wolf wanted to throw me on his back and run away into the forest to live in a cave for the rest of our lives. Not my ideal choice for a future. A girl liked comfort—pillows, soft mattresses, soft cotton sheets, fireplaces, her eBook device, a phone to listen to her raunchy audiobooks, and posters to liven up her room. Plus, she wanted to be free with all my men to do as she pleased, when she pleased.

I released him and withdrew, because if I didn’t, Talon was going to have to pry Raze and me apart with a crowbar. My wolf reached for me, but I stepped back, shaking my head. If he touched me, I’d lose it, and I couldn’t. Raze would shift, howl, and tear up my friends to protect me. I focused on steadying my breathing and stuffing my tears down deep, trying to work free the goodbye he deserved.

The cabin flyscreen creaked as Talon pried it open, nudging Luna aside, protecting her from any show of force.

“Hey, babe.” My bestie greeted me with a warm but conciliatory smile when I braved meeting her hazel gaze. She didn’t want to send me back any more than I wanted to go back. “You got all your things?”

Things? I didn’t need anything beside the bloody Guardians uniform I wore. Pointless when security confiscated it prior to forcing me through the scans. Upon entry to the prison, a jerk sentry broke some of my collectibles as a special welcome to the new prisoner. And I wasn’t hiding anything up a certain hole, if you know what I mean, when Knoxe tried it and was busted.

“Yep, got everything,” I croaked, my throat burning.

Two months ago, my friend and her men worked hard to get me a pardon for my sentence at the Guardians. The first ray of hope in a year and a half. I stayed to remain with my men, only to have Raze torn from me moments later. In hindsight, I probably should have gone with him, but I didn’t want to leave Tor in such a vulnerable situation with his broken spine. A chance I might not get again. The sacrifices we made for love.

I tried to break free of Raze’s hand on my arm, my back flush to his chest, and slide past her and descend the cabin’s stairs. Winter descended in my heart at leaving him alone again.

I summoned a formidable voice and said, “You have to let go, my wolf.”

His grip relaxed, and I pivoted slowly, clasping his face, hopefully not for the last time. A tear threatened to fall, and I swiped that bitch away. I wanted to say so much. How much I loved him. How much I would miss him. How badly I wanted to be with him. How much I wanted us all to be together. How my heart shattered into thousands of pieces at the thought of countless years of potential separation.

The only thing that came out was, “See you soon.”

I made a break for it, bursting out the doorway, pushing past my friend, storming down the stairs before Raze made a scene. Fuck, before I made a scene. The sobs came hard and fast, a torrent of destruction, longing to wash the world away for making me leave.

“No, Little Wolf.” Scuffles and grunts sounded behind me, my mate fighting to get past a Guild soldier to get me back in his arms.

I didn’t break my step or glance back. I couldn’t. One look at him, and I’d never leave.

“No, man,” Talon warned. “She has to go back or they’ll come for her. They’ve already got hunters searching for her.”

Raze let out a pitiful whimper, and I had to seize control of my legs before my brain ordered them to march back up the stairs and kiss him one last time.

Tears burned tracks of lava down my cheeks, solidifying into rock.

Luna jogged to catch up and claim my hand, squeezing tightly, letting me know I wasn’t alone. I let it all out, my shoulders shuddering, my nose running, hiccupping from deep in my chest.

“Oh, babe, come here.” She stopped to throw her arms around me and pull me close.

“No. Let’s go.” I pushed her away, marching for Talon’s pickup, wanting to get inside it and drive away.

Raze whined behind me, and the steamroller backed up, then charged forward, flattening my heart again. I cupped my mouth to muffle my scream, knowing it would urge his change, and he would cast Talon aside, injure him, and come for me. Shifters gathered outside at the commotion, and I didn’t want him to frighten them any more than some of them already were.

“Please, Raze,” I whimpered. “Stop. Go back inside.”

His heartbreaking whine spurred me to hurry my pace.

“Are we cool?” Talon asked.

Raze grunted.

“We’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Talon said.

Another grunt and whine.

“We’ll look after her. Don’t worry.”

Luna and I hit the pickup truck, and I fumbled for the handle, but my limbs didn’t work right, so my friend took the lead, opening the door and ushering me inside. The interior had that new car smell and cushy leather interior. I rolled into a ball and cried. I appreciated that she and Talon gave me the space to grieve as they took off. I never felt more alone and lost in my life. More so than the first time I got transported to the prison.

Sometime later, we rolled into the gated driveway of my old haunt, Nightfire Academy. Water spurted from the fountain, and the gardens were as pristinely manicured as the day I left. Some students read in the garden, other smoked or exercised, and my heart seized, missing my studies and old life. Light streaked into the car when Luna cranked my door open. My heart deadened any sense of nostalgia I might have felt.

Gargoyles perched on the gothic spires, towers, and gables of the European abbey architecture. Some resembled creatures encountered in nightmares—horns, bat wings, demonic faces. While others had the bodies or heads of dragons, lions, and eagles. They blinked and swiveled their heads in my direction, releasing a collective cry, a sound like hundreds of stones tumbling down a mountainside, crashing into each other.

I braced my hands over my ears and hurried out of the truck, standing beside it with Luna and Talon. I glanced up at the entrance to the Academy, where two Tollens flanked the headmaster, escorting him to meet us.

Wings fluttered, and I flinched as stone claws clenched on my shoulder, a solid weight coming to land on me. A beak nuzzled my neck under my ear and a raspy sound cooed at me. The tug of my ear gave away the identity of the gargoyle perched on me.

“Obsidian, is that you?” A question confirmed when I reached up to stroke the raised stone feathers of his head.

My bonded familiar given to me by the Academy, specially trained to reduce my anxiety like a therapy dog would.

“Obsidian! I’ve missed you!” I lifted him off me and cradled him, burying my ruddy, swollen face in his stony plumage, prompting him to go all comfort gargoyle, croaking and rubbing his head into my neck to soothe me.

He nipped at me like he scolded me for leaving him behind. Oh, my poor little gargoyle was as traumatized as I was when they dragged me out in cuffs to a van to deliver me to the Guardians. The feral little guy screeched and drew blood from the usurper headmaster, Kymbal, when they separated us and drove me away.

Something felt different. Was he heavier than when last we met? “Have you been eating too many rocks?”

He croaked innocently and shook his head at my question. I tickled his belly. It didn’t seem larger. I just forgot how he felt sitting on my shoulder.

I turned to Luna, who strode by my side. “Did anyone care for Obsidian since I left? Tell me he didn’t sneak one too many rocks from the garden.” He vomited them up on my dorm room floor when he did that.

Not my room anymore, I corrected myself. I’m a criminal now, going back where I belong.

“He’s been staying with me.” Luna’s warm hand guided me forward. “He’s officially besties with Brimstone and Hellcat.”

Knowing he’d been cared for in my absence and hung out with Luna and Cole’s gargoyles eased the ache in my chest.

A cheeky smile pricked the corner of Luna’s lips. “Though, he gives poor Shelby the cold shoulder. Don’t you?” She poked Obsidian, and he croaked and tucked his head.

I laughed and sniffed at him not befriending Luna’s pet python. “What about Hunter?”

The question sparked a memory of meeting a strange lady in the prison, called Cheyanne, who claimed to be Luna’s cat.

Luna slapped a hand over her forehead. “I forgot to tell you. When I broke the spell the Brotherhood held over this world, Hunter turned into a human.”

“Cheyanne,” I whispered her name.

“You know her?” Luna hurried in front of me and grabbed me by the arms.

“Yeah,” I admitted. “She promised me a favor for being kind to her and feeding her at the Academy.”

Luna’s brows drew together. “What kind of promise?”

“A debt to collect.” I shrugged. “In fact, I’ll call it in now.”

Luna’s grim smile said that wasn’t happening. “Let’s sort out the politics first, and then we’ll talk favors.”

Ugh. Translation: probably not happening. Cheyanne vanished into thin air or turned into a cat again and couldn’t vouch for the promise or deliver it.

The arrival of the headmaster and soldiers terminated that conversation for the meantime. He hadn’t changed a bit. Bushy brows, brown eyes, and brown hair losing its battle with gray. Fit body tucked in a gray uniform. Venellan, the headmaster of the Academy, who was demoted temporarily when a usurper arrested me and sentenced me to the Guardians. Without proper procedure, might I add. Shame the Appeals Council ignored that little fact in my submitted paperwork.

“Miss Nomical, you’re looking well,” Venellan addressed me in a sympathetic tone.

“As well as can be for a prisoner.” I probably shouldn’t have gotten sassy with him, but I was an emotional wreck at the moment and not thinking clearly.

“Yes, well.” He glanced at Talon with shrewd eyes. “Let’s see what we can do about that, shall we?”

I didn’t get my hopes up at his reply. Nor did I indulge in pleasantries or talk of appeals or begging him to do something to prevent my return. “Let’s get this over with.”

Luna squeezed my arm in warning to be nice.

“Very well.” The headmaster tipped his head at Talon and ordered, “Call the Guardians.”

“No, I’ll take her.” The Darnax removed cuffs from his pocket and approached me.

Obsidian went crazy and launched off me, his claws sealing around a ring, tugging, but the Darnax was stronger and bigger.

Talon’s skin crusted over with gargoyle stone and his voice came out deeper and commanding. “Do not try me, little one. Let go.”

Obsidian let out a pathetic squawk and obeyed, falling back on my shoulder with a light thud. As the smaller of the gargoyles, he had to submit to his Alpha, and I didn’t begrudge the little guy.

“I’m sorry, Romance Queen,” Talon whispered, the stone receding at his will rather than the call of darkness.

He took to calling me that nickname at the Academy in his time guarding Luna. Loads of study sessions led to me telling her about the latest romance I was reading, hoping to form a book club between us. Alas, she was too busy with catch up lessons and romancing her men. I refused to let his nickname soften me.

A frustrated scream clawed at my throat, and I begrudgingly lifted my wrists. Cold black metal sealed over me, and I rubbed my flesh, hating the feeling and constriction after six days of liberation from the Guardian’s cuffs. I didn’t bother asking if the bindings were necessary. I willingly gave myself up and let them take me back. Hardly a flight risk.

“Bye,” I croaked to Luna at the behest of her man tugging me up the stairs, depriving me of a hug or one last sob in her arms.

Talon marched me to the Terra Room like a damn cop. Students glanced my way and whispered. Fuck them. I didn’t care what they thought.

A beat before we crossed over a portal to the Guardians, Venellan caught my elbow, and thrust out his arm, wrapping my fingers over an unsealed envelope.

“Best of luck, Miss Nomical.” With that, he nodded at Talon and departed.

The Darnax gave me a moment to read the letter as best I could with secured wrists. A letter to the new warden, explaining the mistake with a previous colleague, Kymbal, who had unfairly sentenced me to the Guardians. My chest lit with a vengeful flame at reading the asshole had been fired for misconduct. The flames darkened and chilled at the last paragraph requesting my release under the premise of a fateful mistake.

Next, I read the handwritten note. “ We haven’t forgotten about you. We have tried unsuccessfully six times for your release, but we’re stonewalled by a man named Vartros. Luna indicates she met with him after your incarceration, and he warned her not to support your appeal or it would be denied. We understand he’s gone missing and are trying a new avenue with your new warden to collect on our successful seventh appeal. May the Veil protect you.”

Lucky seven. The one I turned down to stay with Tor.

I broke down again at my friends and headmaster fighting for me. I wasn’t alone. I wasn’t forgotten. I wasn’t battling without an army. Suddenly, my freedom felt closer than ever.

I crunched the note up in my palm and lifted it to Talon. “Take this. They’ll read it, and I don’t want them knowing my business.” Didn’t want anyone trying to sabotage Luna’s efforts.

As for the headmaster’s letter, I doubted it would have any impact, given the warden’s need for soldiers to collect every last prisoner before he even considered releasing my team and me. Still, it was positive news.

I also forgot the biker Castor’s promise to get us out, and my thoughts brightened a little with hope that we only had to endure prison a little while longer and they we were free.

We barely said a word as Talon and I crossed the portal to Guardian’s prison in Broken Hill, near where I’d visited days earlier with Raze to burn the bone witch’s femur. Perhaps luck might finally be on our side with the curse gone. Time to find out.

Sentries met us at the gateway and thanked Talon and dismissed him, rudely dragging me away with a mumbled goodbye to the Darnax. They processed me, forcing me through the security scans, searching for weapons and finding nothing. Then they marched me to the medical bay for a physical assessment that lasted an hour, followed by a two-hour psychological evaluation.

Dr. Anders grilled me with hard questions. Why didn’t I return with my team? Where did I go? How did I get away? A cover story I fed her. To make it appear real, I summoned my distress from my kidnapping at the hands of the vampires to deliver the performance of my life. Not easy when I found it hard to lie to save myself. She recorded my official story to be compiled for the warden and my file.

I crossed one leg over the other and bounced my foot, eager to get the hell out of there and reunite with my men. I wondered if they were forewarned of my return. Heck, I even wanted to hug my father, let him know I was okay.

Tor texted that everything was fine, and I wanted to believe him, but he might have said that to not let me worry. I imagined Knoxe beside himself with worry. Dad probably murdering someone for answers about my disappearance. Pascal’s anxiety getting the better of him. Tor regretting me leaving the prison and getting kidnapped. Selena possibly blaming herself. All of it made me sick to the stomach.

“That must have been very hard on you,” Dr. Anders said, her voice sympathetic and comforting.

“It was.” I picked at lint balls on my sweatpants.

“I’m going to administer some sedatives to help you sleep tonight.” She went to a locked cabinet by the wall and removed a plastic container of drugs. “Take two of these with water before bed.”

She handed them to me and returned to her desk, marking the medications she dispensed on my file.

“Thank you, Doctor.” I dropped them into my top pocket and stood, assuming I was dismissed.

“I want you back every day to meet with me,” she called out to me as my palm connected with the handle of her door.

“Sure, Doc,” I said and left.

Outside her office, the warden waited for me, looking impatient. “Welcome back, Miss Nomical.”

Welcome. Ha. What a joke. Welcome to Hell, more like it.

“We’re glad to have you back.” His smarmy voice made me shiver.

Glad to have his asset back. Glad he had one more soldier to send out to recover the escaped prisoners. Glad he didn’t have grounds to free my team and me until all fugitives were apprehended.

“Let me take you back to your cell.” He gestured for me to walk with him. “You have several people waiting for you.”

For the first time in hours, my spirits lifted, and I bounced on my tiptoes, eager to get back to Cell Ward A with my three men and father.