Page 46 of Witch and Tell
“Sorry,” she whispered, “but I couldn’t leave her home.”
Ruth waved a hand toward Wanda. “I’d like to introduce a member of the community to explain these views further. I believe everyone knows Wanda, the new caretaker at the retreat center.”
Wanda set her bundle of papers on the lectern, then plugged the projector into an extension cord leading into the kitchen. She wore a crisply pressed but decadesold blue suit and had even applied a smudge of red lipstick. She was all business. She slipped on a pair of reading glasses.
“Thank you, fellow Wilfredians, for your attention to this very important issue. Currently, the library has a plethora of books in the children’s section featuring cats, often in primary roles. These books portray cats as sympathetic, cuddly, and occasionally even wise beings. In fact, they are dangerous creatures that should have never been domesticated.”
She placed a slide on the projector, and the cartoon image of a hissing cat in a baby’s cradle appeared on the portable screen. Next to the cradle were several bottles ostentatiously labeledallergy medicine. An arrow pointed out the window with the wordsdead birdsprinted next to it.
“Not a bad drawing,” Duke said from somewhere behind me.
“I propose we remove these dangerous books from our publicly funded space, lest children get the wrong idea.”
Before Wanda could finish her sentence, the projector went dead. I caught a flash of black fur darting through the kitchen doorway.Rodney. I closed my eyes and groaned.
“That cat did it, didn’t he?” Wanda said. “I made my point.”
“Removing books is no way to deal with this,” Patty said. Bless her. “I have grandkids, and I want them to learn about all sorts of things.”
“I’m not saying books with cats should be eliminated,” Wanda said. “You can read these books to your grandchildren if you want to. That way, you’ll be able to expose them to the reality of cats in a responsible fashion.”
My blood pressure was rising to rival a steam engine, but I felt more incredulous than angry. Before I could reply, Duke jumped in. “Great idea,” he said. “I’d like to see books about birds taken out of the library, too. All of them, not just the books for kids.”
Ruth Littlewood shot to her feet, her birdwatching binoculars swaying on her chest. “What?”
“You think cats are a menace?” Duke said. “Look at birds. They wake you up in the morning with their racket, they nest in buildings, and they crap on cars. Birds should be eliminated. Ever wonder why I eat so much chicken? To cut down their numbers.”
Lyndon rose. This was surprising. “Birds also steal fruit in the garden. I have to put nets on the blueberries.”
“I never,” Ruth said. “This is censorship, plain and simple.”
Mrs. Tohler rose. “While we’re at it, I have a problem with leaf blowers. People are too lazy to pick up a rake so they fire up noisy, gas-guzzling contraptions, instead? How is that good for society?”
I doubted we had children’s books that featured motorized lawn care equipment, but before I could say anything, an older woman grasped her cane and stood. “I’m offended by depictions of the elderly in books. Sure, my hair is white and I use a cane, but that doesn’t mean I’m helpless. If you ask me, every book containing the worddodderingshould be removed.”
It was time to step in. I stood. “As Wilfred’s librarian, I’d like to—”
Wanda pounded a fist on the lectern and pointed at me. “You’re going to take the word of a woman accused of murder?”
Wow. That was a low blow. I drew a deep breath. “As I said, as Wilfred’s librarian, I believe we can find compromise. We all have opinions about what’s right and wrong. A library isn’t a boxing ring where one view wins over another. A library is about sharing different perspectives and learning about them.”
I looked up to measure Wanda’s reaction to, what seemed to me, a logical argument, and found her staring straight at Mona.Uh-oh.
“What is that?” she said, her voice menacing.
Mona’s jaw tensed. “Don’t threaten me.”
“I asked you what you have in your lap.” Wanda’s voice came low and sinister.
Mona defiantly flipped the towel to hide the kitten she was bottle nursing. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Wanda removed her reading glasses and crept, eyes narrowed, toward Mona. This was the kind of walk Rodney affected when he stalked prey, like the ponytail elastic he regularly chased through my apartment.
“It’s a cat. I saw it.” Wanda practically growled.
Mona lifted her chin. “And what if it is? Cats hurt no one, and that goes double for a children’s book about a cat.”
Now Wanda faced Mona head-on, and the look in her eyes could have frozen rain into icicles. “You have no idea. Even if children don’t read these books, the covers alone influence them. Merely by looking at them they get the idea that cats are harmless. Cute, even.”