Page 39 of Winter’s Heart (Three of Hearts #1)

NIKKI AWOKE WITH a start. It took her a few seconds to orient herself, but at last she remembered she was lying in a hospital bed next to Jacob, and relaxed.

She had no idea what time it was, but it must be in the wee hours of the morning, as the building was quiet and dim.

Jacob slept on, oblivious, alongside her, for which she was grateful.

He needed to heal, and rest was the best antidote to his pain.

She could still scarcely breathe when she thought about watching him prostrate in the middle of the road as Russell drove her away, powerless to help him.

She hadn’t been lying when she’d told him she could barely form a coherent word during the first part of her testimony; her brain had been focused on only one thing. Him.

There were so many things she wanted to say to Jacob about the stupidity of his act.

And about the bravery of his act. Earlier, she’d seen in his eyes that it hadn’t been the right time to berate him, to let all her mixed emotions out in one confusing stream.

So she’d thanked him for his courage. Because he was a hero.

Even if he was a stupid hero. And she knew it meant a lot to him; that he’d kept his promise to protect her at all costs.

She could see it in his eyes; it was as if he’d gained back a small part of his honor, a part that’d been misplaced until that moment.

Nikki tilted her head back so she could look up at his face.

A small night-light was set above the bed, touching the hospital room with its pale luminescence.

In the dim glow, his features in repose had a softer edge, the intensity and toughness he kept up as a facade when he was working as a cop no longer in evidence.

Something in her chest constricted at the sight of him.

A terribly sweet, but also desolate feeling washed over her.

Her stupid heart wanted things it just couldn’t have.

But as she traced the ridge of his dark eyebrows with her fingertips, ran it down his aquiline nose and over his firm lips, her need for him became overwhelming.

How could she ever let this feeling go? She did not know how or why it’d happened, but over the past week and a half—such a short time—she’d fallen hard for Inspector Jáhkot Utsi.

This man had raced into the face of danger to protect her. He’d taken a bullet for her. He hadn’t actually said the words, but his actions screamed that he at the very least cared for her deeply; perhaps he even loved her.

Just as she loved him.

She knew that now. She loved him, without a doubt.

But could she tell him that to his face?

She lifted her head from his shoulder so she could stare more deeply at his profile.

If he were awake right now, would she be able to form the words?

What if he rejected her, said that he was heading back to Sweden, and while it’d been fun knowing her, he was going to continue with the rest of his life?

What if he’d played her for a fool? What if he didn’t love her like she thought?

She uttered a small sound of frustration. Not wanting to wake him, she wriggled a little higher on the bed, unable to lie quietly any more. She needed to get up, to move, to pace the floor and work out these unsettling feelings.

Jacob smiled in his sleep and murmured something incomprehensible, wrapping his arm tighter around her waist, and she froze.

Gosh darn it. Now she was trapped. A very nice place to be trapped, she admitted, but her heart felt like it was about to burst out of her chest, and she needed action to release these emotions, or she might just detonate.

Trying to calm her racing pulse, she lay still for a few more moments.

But it was no good; she had to get out of this bed.

Moving as carefully as she could, she eased first one leg off the bed, and then moved her other one, hoping the drugs would keep him asleep even as she lifted his fingers to unclasp them from her hip.

“Hey, watcha doing?” His sleepy voice surprised her, and she nearly banged her head on his chin as she sat up with a start.

“Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you. I was just…a little uncomfortable.”

“Are you trying to tell me that sleeping in my arms all night isn’t the nicest thing you’ve ever done?” His brow furrowed in concern as he looked up at her.

“No, no…it’s not that at all.”

A deep laugh reverberated through his chest as his lips twitched up.

He was kidding. Of course he was. Her mind was so muddled that she couldn’t see it at first. That was all.

“Sorry,” she said again, unable to think of the right thing to say. Some of her consternation must’ve shown on her face, however, because the frown came back, a real one this time.

“What’s the matter? You seem a little rattled. Did you have a bad dream?”

“No. No bad dream. I just couldn’t sleep.”

Jacob’s scowl deepened, and he let go of her so he could lever himself higher in the bed, eliciting a sharp intake of breath as he moved his injured leg. Now she’d done it. She hadn’t wanted to wake him, and not only was he now wide awake, but he was in pain because of her.

“Tell me what’s going on,” he demanded. “I can see it in your eyes, Nikki, you’re frightened. But of what?”

Was she scared? Perhaps she was. But not from any physical threat. This fear sprang from a well deep inside her. The fear of rejection. The fear of being left alone. Of the way he made her feel. And of never feeling like this ever again.

“I was just thinking…” She gulped and got off the bed, no longer able to sit still and stare into his eyes.

At least this way, if he rejected her, she wouldn’t have to endure the excruciating pain of having to watch his eyes turn to shadow, slowly shutting her out.

Jacob grabbed her hand at the last moment, anchoring her to his bedside, but she still refused to look at him.

“You were thinking?” he prompted.

“Umm, yes. I was thinking…wondering, really…what’s going to happen after…you know…after you get out of the hospital. I guess you have to go back to Sweden, but…”

“Nikki, look at me.”

It took all her courage, but she raised her gaze until she met his.

“You know I have American citizenship, don’t you?”

“Of course, I remember.” Nikki gulped some air, afraid even to think the words, let alone say them. Was he implying what she thought he was implying?

“So I can stay here as long as I like.”

“Hmm,” she answered with a noncommittal hum. Did that mean he was going to stay?

“And I could even get a job here if I wanted. Because I think I may need a new one after my boss is finished with me.” He drew her toward him until she was close enough to lay his palm along the side of her face. She wanted to melt into his touch.

“But I guess there would be only one true reason to stick around. And that would be for you. Do you want me to stay, Nikki?”

Did she want him to? Oh, gosh, yes.

Could she tell him that? To his face?

Calling on all her strength buried deep inside, she stared into his eyes. Warm and brown and compassionate. The awareness made her catch her breath. He knew. He knew how she felt about him. But he waited patiently. Waited for her to say the words.

“With all my heart,” she whispered, letting herself drown in those whisky-colored eyes.

“I know this might be crazy, because I was never one to believe in love at first sight, but I’ve fallen in love with you.

” Her heart was pounding so hard against the inside of her ribcage, she was sure it was going to burst out of her body.

“We both must be a little crazy then,” he replied softly.

“Because I never believed in love at first sight either. Until I met you.” Now her heart felt like it’d flown right out of her chest and was soaring high above them.

So this was what pure happiness felt like.

A feeling so strong it may destroy her. Burn her, cleanse her from the inside out, until there was nothing left but joy and yearning.

“So, you’ll stay?” She could barely believe it might be true.

“I think we should give this thing a chance. Don’t you?”

“Yes.” She clambered onto the bed, carefully straddling his hips, her lips fusing with his, her fingers running through the short hair at the nape of his neck.

“Yes, yes, yes,” she breathed as she buried her face in his collarbone, drawing in the scent of him, feeling his powerful shoulders beneath her palms.

She lifted her head and stared into his eyes.

This man was everything. They would make this work.

She hadn’t said it, but even if she had to move to Sweden to be with him, she knew she would do so in a heartbeat.

Her job was important to her; it was part of who she was and what she believed in.

Her passion for preserving the wild places on this planet would always rule her heart and drive her onward.

And she loved working at the Institute, but she would find another job if need be. Jacob was worth it. Love was worth it.