Page 31

CHAPTER 31

CASPIAN

Through my living room window, I watch Nate climb into his truck. He pauses, and for a moment, our eyes meet before I step back, letting the curtain fall. My chest aches, a physical pain that matches the emotional turmoil inside. How did everything change so fast? This morning, I woke up feeling like I was finally finding my footing in Maplewood, and now it’s like the ground has disappeared beneath my feet.

Nate knew. He knew and didn’t tell me. The betrayal stings, but what hurts more is knowing that my whole life has been built on secrets I never knew existed. I need answers, and the only person who could give them to me is gone.

I wipe away tears I didn’t realize were falling and turn toward the spare room. I stand in the doorway, staring at the stack of boxes I haven’t touched since moving to Maplewood.

Mom’s boxes. My chest tightens just looking at them, but I force myself to step inside. Even with the heat on, the room feels cold and empty, lifeless. Boxes line the walls like unwanted guests, and the bare windows let in harsh winter light. Maybe one day, I’ll turn it into a proper spare bedroom, make it feel warm and welcoming instead of this storage space of memories I’ve been too afraid to face.

“Okay,” I whisper, settling cross-legged on the floor beside the nearest box. “I can do this.”

My hands shake as I lift the lid. The moment I do, her scent hits me—that familiar mix of vanilla and jasmine she always wore. Tears spring to my eyes immediately, and I close them, overwhelmed by how viscerally her perfume brings her back to me.

“Mom,” I choke out, pressing my palm against my mouth. The grief I’ve been trying to outrun crashes over me like a wave, and suddenly, I can barely breathe through it. “I miss you so much.”

When I can see again through the blur of tears, I start pulling things out carefully. Photo albums, loose pictures, old birthday cards I made her. My fingers trace over a photo of us at my tenth birthday party. I’m grinning wide at the camera, skin deeply tanned from endless hours playing outside that summer. Mom has her arms wrapped around me from behind, her smile matching mine exactly.

We were always a team, the two of us against the world. When I was little and would ask about my dad, she’d skillfully change the subject or distract me with something else. I used to make up elaborate stories about him being a secret agent or international spy. Anything to explain why he couldn’t be with us. As I got older, I figured it was either a one-night stand or a bad relationship she wanted to forget. We were happy together, and eventually, I stopped asking.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I ask the empty room, my voice cracking. “Where did the money really come from? What happened with Tristan and Tate’s dad?”

The questions tumble out, each one sharp as glass in my throat. But there’s no one here to answer them. The one person who could explain everything is gone.

I spend another hour going through photos and memories until my eyes are too swollen from crying to see clearly anymore. Everything hurts. My heart, my head, even my bones seem to ache with missing her. When I finally drag myself out of the spare room, I notice something white on the floor by my front door.

It’s a note that must have been slipped underneath while I was lost in the past. I recognize Nate’s neat handwriting immediately, and my heart does a complicated flip.

Caspian,

I’m so sorry for what I did. I should have told you about your brothers as soon as I knew. I was trying to protect you, but instead, I ended up hurting you and breaking your trust. That’s the last thing I ever wanted to do.

I know you’re hurting and confused right now, and I understand if you need space. Just know that I’m here whenever you’re ready to talk.

What I said this morning was true. I can never go back to anything that isn’t you, that isn’t us.

If you want to contact your brothers, here’s their number. Whatever you decide to do, I’ll support you completely. Take all the time you need. I’ll be here.

- Nate

I slide down the wall until I’m sitting on the floor, the note clutched in my trembling hands. Everything feels too big, too overwhelming. I need to talk to someone who knows me, who knew Mom.

Before I can second-guess myself, I pull out my phone and dial Marcus’s number. He picks up straight away.

“Hey, stranger! I was just thinking about you.”

His familiar voice makes my throat tight. “Marcus, I… Something’s happened.”

“What’s wrong?” The playful tone vanishes instantly, replaced by concern. “You sound upset.”

“I found out something about my parents.”

“Wait, what? I didn’t think you knew who your dad was,” Marcus says.

“I don’t. Well, sort of. That’s what I found out…”

“This isn’t a popcorn moment, is it?” Marcus asks, trying to inject a little humor, but I know him too well. He knows this is big.

“Not exactly,” I say, my voice shaking. “Mom…was involved with a married man. It looks like she left him when she got pregnant with me. His sons, my half-brothers, they came here. They found me, Marcus. They just told me everything, and I…” A sob catches in my throat. “I don’t know what to believe anymore. She kept so much money hidden, money from him, and she never told me. All those years of working double shifts, of me feeling guilty about wanting to go to college…and she had this money the whole time.”

“Oh, Cas,” Marcus says softly, and I can hear the pain in his voice for me. “That’s…a lot to process. I can’t even imagine how you must be feeling right now.”

“I don’t know what to do,” I admit. “Part of me wants to talk to them, to understand. But another part of me is so angry that this secret existed at all. And Nate knew and didn’t tell me…”

“Hold up. Nate? The hot forest guy you’ve been seeing?” Marcus’s voice turns sharp. “He knew about this and didn’t tell you?”

Despite everything, I find myself trying to defend him. “Yeah. Turns out he found out first from my…from Tristan and Tate.”

“And he just what? Decided to keep it from you? Set up some kind of ambush?” Marcus’s protective anger comes through clearly. “That’s messed up, Cas. You didn’t deserve that.”

I run my fingers over the note again. “It hurts, Marcus.”

“Of course it hurts,” Marcus says, his voice tight with anger. “He had no right to keep this from you. I don’t care what his intentions were. This wasn’t his secret to manage. This wasn’t his life to control.” He takes a deep breath, and I can tell he’s trying to calm himself. “I know you care about him, Cas, but this is a pretty big breach of trust.”

“I know you’re right.” I sigh, leaning my head against the wall. “It’s just… Everything feels like it’s spinning out of control. Mom and I always told each other everything. Finding out she kept something this big from me… It makes me question everything.”

“Don’t do that to yourself, Cas. Your mom loved you more than anything in this world. Whatever her reasons were for keeping this secret, they came from a place of love.”

Tears well up again as I remember the way she’d look at me sometimes, like I was the best thing that ever happened to her. “She used to tell me I was her greatest adventure.”

“And you were,” Marcus says firmly. “One secret doesn’t change that. One secret doesn’t erase all the love and happiness you shared.”

I wipe my eyes with the back of my hand. “When did you get so wise?”

“I’ve always been wise. You just never listened to me,” he teases, then grows serious again. “So, what are you thinking about the brothers?”

I look down at the phone number Nate left, wishing I could just make it disappear. Make all of it disappear. I want to go back to this morning when I was wrapped in Nate’s arms and everything made sense.

“I don’t know what to do,” I whisper. “Part of me wants to pretend none of this happened. That I didn’t meet them. That I could just…erase the last few hours and go back to being just me and my memories of Mom.”

“That’s completely understandable, Cas.”

“I feel so lost,” I admit. “Terrified. Like everything I thought I knew is slipping through my fingers.”

“Of course you’re scared. Everything you knew about your family just got turned upside down. But you’re one of the strongest people I know, Cas. You’ll get through this too.” He pauses. “And what about Nate?”

My heart clenches at the mention of his name. “I miss him,” I whisper. “I wish he was here to comfort me, but I need some time,” I say, tracing the edges of Nate’s note. “Everything feels so raw right now. I need to process this, figure out how I feel about Mom, about everything.”

“Take all the time you need,” Marcus says firmly. “What he did was messed up, Cas, no matter his intentions. Just focus on yourself right now. Everything else can wait.”

I think about Nate’s face when he tried to tell me, how torn he looked. How gentle his hands were when he reached for me. Despite everything, my heart still yearns for his comfort, and that just makes this whole situation more confusing.

“And, Cas?” Marcus’s voice softens. “Your mom would be so proud of how you’re handling this. She always said you had the biggest heart of anyone she knew.”

A fresh wave of tears spills down my cheeks. “I really wish she were here.”

“I know, honey. I know.”

After I hang up, I sit there for a long time, holding Nate’s note and thinking about everything Marcus said. About Mom, bravery, and not pushing people away. My gaze drifts between the phone number Nate left and Marcus’s name on my phone. I don’t know what to do about Nate or my…brothers, but one thing I know for certain—I don’t want to be alone right now.