Page 22 of Wings of Valor (Silver City University #4)

A nother day goes by without making any headway. Castiel and I just got back from following up on a possible Auriel sighting that didn’t pan out, putting us right back to square zero.

I hate this.

“The rune weaver is done, and we have a very tiny window to pick it up,” Raphael says, handing me his phone so I can read the message.

I pass over the location to read the time frame. We have an hour to waste before the deadline, then only a mere twenty minutes to show up for our gear before that window closes. “They don’t give much notice, do they?”

“Looks that way.” Raphael eyes me as I try to hand him his phone back but doesn’t take it. “I thought maybe you could go.”

“Okay,” I say, raising my hand so he’ll see that I’m holding his phone out for him, but he still doesn’t take it.

“Okay? Just like that?”

“Why would it be difficult?”

“You didn’t look at the location, did you?”

My brows furrow as I pull his phone back and reread the message, paying attention to the location they shared. Fuck. Only two blocks from my grandparents’ house.

Noticing my reaction, Raph says, “I know you like to go home about as little as I do, but it would be a good opportunity to grab that book on the demon blood tree. Having more information would probably be worth it, given how little ash we have left.”

Ugh. I hate that he’s right. The last thing I want to do is go home, but we need all the help we can get, so it sounds like I don’t have a choice.

“I can go with you, if you want?” Hayliel says, coming over to join us.

“That’s a great idea!” Raphael adds excitedly, but I’m not so sure.

“Oh. You don’t have to. It’ll be super quick and probably not worth it at all.”

“Do you not want me to go?” Hayliel asks, and I see through the mask she wears. She can’t hide her disappointment from me.

Before I can respond, Raphael chimes in. “Theo would love for you to be there. He’s just a little shy about his family, that’s all. But you met Zeke’s dad and my parents, and since we’re giving this whole joint relationship thing a try, it makes sense for you to meet his, too.”

Hayliel takes my hands in hers, squeezing them as our eyes meet. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

I hate that I’m making her doubt herself, but the last thing I want is for her to find out about my parents. Will she look at me differently if she knows what happened to my dad? Or how my mother hated me so much that she chose to leave instead of staying and taking care of me?

Raphael’s voice fills my mind, his tone gentle and reassuring. Hey. What happened to your father wasn’t your fault, and your mother left because she’s a coward. Don’t let what’s been happening lately drag you back into old thinking patterns.

I try to let his words wash over me. I really do, but the worry continues to fester in the back of my mind. What if Hayliel blames me? What if my grandparents say or do something to set me off?

“It’s alright,” Hayliel says with one final squeeze of my fingers. “I should probably stay here and imbue weapons, anyway.”

Fuck. The last thing I wanted to do was make her think I didn’t want her there.

Without knowing why, she probably thinks it’s something she did.

I swallow down my fears and take a deep breath.

“No, no. I want you to come. It’s just …

going home always makes me a little crazy, and I didn’t want you to see me like that. ”

Her eyes search mine, and then she pulls me into a hug.

When we separate, she cups my cheeks, forcing me to look into her eyes.

“I am madly in love with you, Theo. Every facet of your being calls to mine, even the parts you don’t want me to see.

Even the parts you aren’t fond of. Nothing will change that for me. ”

I have no words to give her in response. Nothing I say could even begin to compare to what she’s just given me. All I can muster is a shaky “okay” before pressing my forehead to hers and closing my eyes.

“I love you too, firefly. More than anything else in this world.”

When we pull apart, I find Raphael leaning against the wall with a shit-eating grin plastered on his face. Not that I can really blame him. Even when I doubt myself, he’s never faltered or given up on me.

“You should get going. It’s probably best if you stop at the house first. Don’t need your grandparents questioning why you’ve brought so many clothes over for a quick trip.”

“He makes a good point,” Hayliel says. “I’ll grab my bag, and then we can head out.” She kisses me, then Raphael, and leaves the room.

“Thanks, Raph.”

He shrugs. “You’ve done the same for me. Besides, with everything so chaotic, I think it’s best if we air out all our personal shit. We don’t know what the future holds for any of us.”

We arrive at my grandparents’ house twenty minutes later, and I’m immediately hit by the same feelings I experience whenever I come here. Pain. Regret. Loss.

The house holds too many memories.

It wasn’t where I always lived, though. I had another house before. Before I lost my dad. Before my mother gave up trying and left me on this very doorstep. Before my grandparents felt such dishonor to the family name.

A lot has changed since that first day. The angels who once put immense pressure on me to restore their name have backed off. But the pain in their eyes when they look at me has only diminished, not fully gone away.

I’m the reason their son is dead. I’m the reason they had to play parents when they were more than ready to enjoy not having to raise anyone.

“Theo.”

Hayliel’s voice sounds as if she’s far away, but as I open my eyes and the fog of memories clear, I realize she’s standing right in front of me.

“Are you sure you want to do this? We don’t have to go in there. We can turn around right now and find some place to hang out until it’s time to meet the rune weaver.”

I brush a stray curl from her face and offer a weak smile.

“Sorry. I’ll be fine in a minute.” Pulling her into me for a hug, I release a long sigh when I feel her warm body mold to mine.

I don’t know how much time passes, but finally, when my heartbeat returns to a normal rhythm and it doesn’t feel like I want to run away screaming, I give her a squeeze and step back.

Pushing the key into the hole, I unlock the door and step into the familiar space. No one rushes to greet us at the door, and for that, I’m grateful. It gives me more time to compose myself.

With everything going on between demon attacks, impending war, and possible death, I feel like a ticking time bomb. When will I go off? Who will I hurt when I do?

Being here only compounds on that feeling.

“Theo, is that you?” my grandmother calls out from deeper in the house.

Knowing we won’t be able to get away without saying hi, I direct us toward the living room, where I know she and my grandfather must be.

“It’s me,” I call back. “I’m only here for a quick visit and to grab a few books for school.”

When I enter the room, I find her. She’s sitting alone on the couch, the convertible coffee table opened into a desk with papers covering the entire surface.

“What on God’s Silver City is all of this?” I ask her with astonishment. I might have a complicated relationship with my grandparents, but I got my love of information from them.

“Oh, you know how we love to research, and with all the rumors flying around about special angels and their powers, we couldn’t resist. It’s great to see you.

I wish you would have told us you were coming.

Oh, and who’s this?” My grandmother turns to Hayliel, her eyes taking her in from head to toe.

“This is my girlfriend, Hayliel. Hayliel, I’d like you to meet my grandmother, Lorna.”

“It’s an honor to meet you,” Hayliel says.

“Likewise, dear. Javan will be sad to miss this, our Theo bringing a girl home.”

“Where is he, anyway?” I ask, surprised to find he left her alone with all of this exciting research.

“Off on a secret rendezvous.” She looks between the two of us, clasping her hands in her lap, and whispers, “He swears he’s found information on the Seraphim everyone’s been talking about lately.”

Her words make me freeze, but I shake it off before she notices. Hayliel looks like she wants to say something, but I push a message to her through our connection. No. It’s better if we don’t tell them. Not yet.

She gives me a look that demands an answer but says nothing aside from, “A Seraphim? Aren’t they extinct?”

My grandmother blathers on, and even though I try to listen, I can’t stop my mind from wandering. How the hell do they know there’s a Seraphim in Silver City? Is it Auriel trying to cause confusion among the angels? What’s his end game?

“Oh, my gosh. Is this a young Theo?” Hayliel asks, breaking me out of my spiral.

“He was a rascal, I tell you.”

“You don’t happen to have more photos like this, do you?” Hayliel asks, staring at the photo of me wearing heels and a bow in my hair.

“An entire book. Why don’t I get us some coffee, and we can look through it?”

“Would you mind?” Hayliel directs her question at me, but I’m at a loss for words. I know the book my grandmother is going to get, and I don’t want to be around when she brings it out. I can’t. But how can I explain to Hayliel that looking through all of those memories only causes me pain?

Shit. I should have told her the fucked-up details of my past before we came here. Deep in my soul, I know she wouldn’t be so eager to bring that book out if she knew what it would do to me, but because she has no idea, I can tell just how excited she is.

Dammit. I can’t say no to her.

Praying my voice holds steady, I say, “How about you two look through the book, and I’ll grab what we need for school? Sound good?”

Her eyes meet mine, and I urge her to agree, to let me have this out, because I can’t sit there and look at that fucking book.

When she nods, I relax a little.

“Come. Help me with the coffee while Theo does his business,” my grandmother says, whisking Hayliel away.