Page 20 of Winds of Destiny

Turo

I’m not sleeping.

This doesn’t surprise me—I never sleep well after I see something like the carnage at Traveler’s Ease—but it’s an annoyance I don’t need right now. I feel stupid because of it. All the others saw the ruin made of what was once a home, and yet, three days on, the only one still reeling from nightmares and biting off screams in the darkness is me.

I’m exhausted, and my fatigue galls me. I ought to be better than this by now, but I’m not. I’m clumsy, my appetite is nearly gone, and I can’t even run for more than an hour before having to stop and be bullied into our sole remaining wagon by Cam. It’s embarrassing. I look after him , he doesn’t look after me. That’s how it’s supposed to be, and I hate that I’m unable to meet even this basic expectation so close to the end of our journey together.

We’re already within distant sight of the Gate—one more day and we’ll be there. One more day and I’ll be able to hand over all my responsibilities, bid Cam farewell, and leave him with the Dellians.

He’s going to be all right, I know that now. They’re all fond of him, even Rusen, and Kai seems practically in love with him. I hope Cam’s new husband is understanding and Cam gets to keep his soldier-lover when they get to Huridell. And then I’ll be free to return to Zephyth and resume my duties to the king.

The thought fills me with dread.

When I can’t sleep, when I wake up at night in a cold sweat coughing like I’ve just tried to outrun a jaka bird, I stare at the tent that Cam and Kai share. I’ve taken to bedding down close to it just to have the comfort of hearing Cam’s even breaths and the rustle of blankets inside as one of them shifts. Sometimes I hear them talking, and the whisper of their voices is like a lullaby that I can’t get enough of. It’s almost enough to let me fall asleep. Almost.

Not quite.

It’s been a long day. By the time we finally stop the wagon, less than four hours’ ride from the Gate, Cam is spending more time staring at me than he is staring at the mighty mountain that’s going to be his home soon enough. Huridell sits in the very center of the tallest peak in the range ahead of us, all of them snow-capped despite the warmth of the season. The mountains are green and purple otherwise, with the occasional spots of bright yellow and red that Kai tells me are holy plants , growing in places sacred to their god. It looks beautiful.

I hope Cam grows to like it there. Right now, it seems as though the thing he likes best is coddling me. I wish I didn’t like it as much as I do.

“Let them set up camp,” he says when I move to go help pull our supplies from the wagon. “You sit down.”

I shake my head. “I should help.”

“You should sit down. ”

“I’m not going to rest idle while everyone else is working,” I say even as he manhandles me onto the ground. I’m going to get up as soon as he lets go of me. I have to—being still makes it too easy to think about the wrong things.

Cam actually rolls his eyes, then plops down into my lap. I’m so surprised that I don’t even react as he winds his arms around my neck and lays his head on my shoulder. “There. Now we can rest idly together.”

“I can’t—you—” I look over at Kai, praying for some backup, but he just grins and turns away.

Fuck. Fine. I’ll just sit here with Cam in my arms, so close that I can feel his breath against my collarbone, so wonderfully warm that the ache that’s taken root in my bones over the last few days finally eases. I’ve missed this closeness with him. I can’t believe how much I’ve missed it.

“You’re not sleeping,” Cam says quietly as the Dellians work around us, kindly ignoring the way we’re sitting entwined like branches of coral. “Are the nightmares so bad?”

Cam is the only one who knows about my nightmares. I fought hard to hide them from Doric—I didn’t want him to think I couldn’t do the work he asked me to do. I would certainly never let the king know my mind isn’t always under my control. But Cam learned about them when we were children, and he’s never held me in contempt for them.

“I can barely remember them once I wake up,” I reply. “Just fire and screaming.”

“Hmm.” He’s quiet for a moment, almost contemplative, before he says, “Sleep in our tent tonight.”

I sigh. “I don’t want to keep both of you awake along with me.”

“It’s too late for that. I’ll just fret if you’re not there.”

“You need to be well-rested for tomorrow,” I say, trying a new tactic. “After all, Prince Eleas might come and meet you at the Gate. Don’t you want to impress him?”

“If my looking tired after nearly two weeks of travel is enough to make him think ill of me, then I have a feeling he and I won’t be getting along well no matter what I do,” Cam says pertly. “Don’t worry about me; let me worry about you for once. Sleep in our tent.”

I should say no. For both our sakes, I should say no, but tonight’s the last night we have together. And the longer Cam sits with me, his comforting weight like a dam that holds back the blood-tinged tide of impressions inside me, the better I feel. I tighten my grip around his waist, then turn and press my lips to his hair. “Fine. I’ll sleep with you tonight.”

“ Thank you ,” he says, so earnestly that I feel a little bad about it. Have I been worrying him so much? “Would you like to—”

“Hey!” A pointed call from Rusen ruins the moment, as well as interrupting whatever Cam was about to say. “The fire’s over here! We’re not building a separate one for the two of you, no matter how nice it must be to finally have your heads out of your—”

“Rusen.”

“What? I’m just saying what we’re all thinking!”

“Say it more quietly,” Kai advises before heading over to us. He holds his hand out to help Cam to his feet, and I mourn the loss of Cam’s body against mine even as I realize that it’s a necessity.

Then he holds his hand out to me. I take it, and the ease with which he lifts me up is a bit shocking. I haven’t shared many touches with Commander Kai, and I don’t know why I’m so surprised by his strength—I do have eyes, after all—but I am.

“Thank you,” I say, a bit breathless for no good reason.

“You’re welcome.” He doesn’t let go until I make the first move to pull away, and even then he steps up behind me and escorts me almost the way he does with Cam, one hand hovering over my lower back.

Dinner is a blur, the same things we’ve been eating this whole time, only in smaller quantities after we gave so many of our supplies to the refugees from Traveler’s Ease. I hope Jeric gets them to Zephyth without any more loss of life. Those poor children… Yet, at least they’re not alone. There are others of their people to remember with them, to mourn with them. That’s more than some people get.

It’s more than I got.

It takes a moment for me to realize that Cam is trying to get my attention. “Turo,” he says, “come on. Grab your bedroll and bring it with you.”

Right, my bedroll. This might be the first time ever that Cam has remembered a practicality before I have. I retrieve my pack from the wagon and grab everything I should need for the night, do a quick rinse with some of my own store of our precious water to ensure I don’t smell up their tent, then join them there.

Cam is closest to the opening, lying on his side so that he can see me the moment I crawl in. Kai is up against the far wall on his back, one massive arm tucked beneath his head as a makeshift pillow. Cam smiles and pats the ground beside him.

For all that this tent is bigger than any I’ve ever slept in before, it’s still a bit of a tight fit with three people spread across the floor of it, especially when one of them is as big as Kai. It gets a bit roomier when he rolls onto his side, snuggling up tight to Cam.

As I settle down in the space they’ve left for me, I try not to focus on the sounds they’re making, the soft intimacies of one body moving against another in a quest for a comfortable way to lie together. This close to Cam, this warm and wanted, I might actually be able to sleep for more than a few minutes tonight.

Then Cam moans, and my eyes fly open.

It’s still light outside, but I would know Cam even if it was pitch-black. There’s not an inch of him that escapes my notice. His back is pressed to Kai’s chest, their legs entwined. Kai’s mouth is pressed to Cam’s neck, biting and sucking, and Cam has one hand buried in his lover’s hair. The other one lies between him and me, his fingers curling and straightening like he wants to grab me as well.

I should leave. I should definitely leave.

“Stay,” Cam whispers, his tone demanding and begging all at once. “Stay, just—please. It’s the last night, I want you here, please stay with us.”

“I can’t…” I want him, I want him so much and he knows it, but I’ll be nothing but a husk of a man if I give in and let myself have what I want. After tonight, Cam isn’t mine anymore. If I don’t want to break into a thousand useless pieces, I have to stay strong.

Kai lifts his mouth from Cam’s neck with a slick, sucking sound. “You don’t have to do anything but watch. Or,” he adds in a sly tone of voice, “you could tell us what you want and we’ll do it.”

What I want? As in…move them how I want? Make a pretty picture of them to carry in my head for as long as I live? See how Cam looks in the throes of pleasure, even if I’m not the one bringing him there?

“You like that idea,” Cam says, his breath hitching as Kai’s hand slides across his chest, the thumb rubbing circles around one of his nipples. “I can tell. I know you. I know you.” He reaches out again, and this time I take his hand. When my lips touch the back of it, the tenderest kiss I can impart right now, his fingers convulse.

“I’ll stay.” It’s inevitable, a whirlpool that I have no hope of escaping. If this is the only chance I’m ever going to allow myself, then I’m going to make the most of it. “And the two of you will do exactly as I say.”

Cam moans, an encouraging sign, and from the little I can gather of Kai’s face, he seems to be grinning.

I’ve waited outside enough bedroom doors and listened to enough nights out on these plains that I have a very good idea of what Cam likes. He’s going to get it all…eventually. I keep my eyes on Cam while directing my words at Kai. “He likes to be touched. Slow and firm…”

Kai follows my lead, running his hands over Cam’s chest, gripping the slim muscles there before soothing them with a firm press of his palm. Cam sighs into each touch, losing himself to the sensations, but a squeeze of my hand has his eyes right back on mine.

I lick my lips at his heated gaze. “What really makes him lose his mind, though, is a little bit of pain… Pinch his nipple.”

“Mean,” Cam whines, which is an absolute lie—he loves it, and his response when Kai squeezes down is gratifyingly enthusiastic.

His gasp and the way he writhes against Kai leaves me dizzy with want and rock-hard. “Now the other one. Twist it.”

Kai grins even harder as he obeys and Cam makes the most delicious sound. “Oh, he likes that,” Kai says, doing it again, this time leaning over to lick at the hard nub.

For Cam, pain and pleasure meld into a place where all his worries vanish. I don’t know enough of bedroom arts to ensure he stays there, but there’s something special about seeing Cam’s big, beautiful eyes lose the sharpness they always seem to carry and go hazy with nothing but need. When he moans my name…

I sit up and kiss the back of Cam’s hand once more before reluctantly letting go. “Put him on his back and use your teeth.”

A thrill races up my spine at how Kai responds to my command, with no hesitation and with the same urgency I’m feeling. Cam arches his back as Kai nips at his chest this time, playing Cam like a lyre. He’s hard, the thin fabric of his sleep pants tented. I can’t see Kai, but I assume he’s the same.

And me…

Well. Better that I ignore that for now.

Kai maps Cam’s torso with his mouth, nipping and sucking at the skin until Cam is panting and begging for more. His big hand runs a soothing path down Cam’s side, but I smile when it only makes our prince squirm harder.

“Not too gentle, or he’ll get ticklish.” I’d learned that when we were children and used it back then to good effect every time I’d wanted to escape Cam’s clinging. I should never have tried to escape. “Why don’t you slip your fingers under his waistband?”

Kai keeps his eyes on me as his hand disappears under Cam’s clothes. “Like this?”

I swallow. “Don’t touch him there yet. Just on his thigh.”

“I hate this.” Cam hisses the farther Kai explores inside his clothes. “Why can’t you be nicer to me?”

“Because if I was, you’d be the most spoiled person in the world,” I say lightly. “And you love this, don’t deny it.”

Cam’s eyes settle on me, filled with so much love and emotion it hurts to stare right back. “I do,” he says, “but I want more .”

I bet he does.

“More? Do you mean here?” Kai reaches over and squeezes one of Cam’s ass cheeks, letting it fill his big hand, before giving the other cheek the same treatment. “You certainly have more than anyone I’ve ever bedded.”

Cam’s pleased groan is followed by, “No, not there. Just…more.”

I want to crawl closer. I want to touch. But I clench my hands and remain on my side. “Try his balls,” I tell Kai casually, as if we’re conversing about the weather and not planning to torture Cam with pleasure. “They must be full enough to burst.”

“Let’s see if they are.” Kai palms Cam’s balls and rolls them in his hand, caressing the tight orbs with a firm touch. I see his hand move beneath the fabric, and it takes all I’ve got not to feel for myself.

“More,” Cam says. “More, higher, I want more, give me—please—”

“Turo?” Kai looks at me, not moving his hand, and I feel a surge of pleasure at how well he’s playing this game. That’s right. I’ll tell you what to do.

I smile at him. “You can touch his cock,” I say, “but lightly. Don’t make him come.”

Kai chuckles even as Cam starts to swear.

“How did I forget how cruel you can be?” Cam says mournfully as he spreads his legs wider. “Oh, oh god— Yes, there, pull harder—”

“That’s not the game, my prince,” Kai says to Cam, then looks at me.

“Go softer,” I say, and Cam sobs. “You’re not in charge, remember?” I murmur to him. “You gave that gift to me. Lie back and enjoy it, sweetheart. You know I’ll never do anything you don’t want.”

“I know, I just…” He turns to look at me, his eyes somehow glowing even in the low light. “It’s hard.”

“I know it is.” Daring, I reach out and run my hand down his hair. “I know. Just breathe and relax.”

It works—he’s soothed enough that when Kai starts to fondle him again, hand roving beneath his clothes, Cam just closes his eyes and lets himself feel. I watch his face, and when I see something good there, I relay it to Kai. “More pressure there, whatever you just did…good. Now back up, right there… Use your nail. Perfect. ”

Cam hitches and moans, legs shifting like sand until I finally reach out and help Kai pull his pants off. Now he’s bared to my eyes and I drink in the sight of him. Two weeks on the road have tightened his already fit body, giving him sharp ridges along his hip bones and a concave belly that makes me itch to touch it. I make Kai do it instead, and the sight of his massive hand spread across Cam’s smooth skin takes my breath away. His cock is hard, standing so straight it nearly touches his stomach, and the way he shifts his hips tells me he’s desperate for touch there.

Good. That will make this next part more fun.

It doesn’t surprise me that I want to be the one drawing out his pleasure, but it is surprising how much I enjoy seeing Kai be the one to do it. It helps that he’s handsome and that Cam likes him so much. For the first time tonight, I pay closer attention to Kai’s body than I do to Cam’s, and the surge of heat that rolls through me as I look at his bare back and powerful shoulders is a welcome complement to my lust.

“Get your oil,” I say to Kai, “but strip first.”

“It’s about time,” Cam mutters, but both of us watch eagerly as Kai sits up and undoes the drawstring holding his pants up. He shuffles out of them and tosses them to the side, and—

Oh. O…kay, no wonder Cam has been crying out like an animal in heat each night they’ve had each other. Kai is well-proportioned all over, but the length and breadth of his cock… Just looking makes me wonder how it would feel in my hands, what it would taste like on my tongue.

Now isn’t the time. Right now, the focus is on Cam. I can daydream about Kai some other night. “Slick your fingers and give him one,” I say.

“One?” Cam pouts at me. It’s less effective in the shadows than it would be otherwise, but it still makes it harder than I’d like to say no to him. “Two.”

“One,” I reiterate with a smile.

“ Two .”

“One,” Kai says, reaching between Cam’s legs, and—

The moment he’s breached, Cam closes his eyes, chest heaving with an intake of breath that he seems to hold onto forever. He arches his back and spreads his legs even farther apart, and then I can see it—the motion of Kai’s hand as he fucks his thick finger into Cam, curling it slightly so that it likely rubs across the spot inside of him that makes this so pleasurable.

It takes a few minutes, but once Cam starts pushing himself down onto Kai’s hand, I let Kai add another finger. Cam takes two beautifully and three enthusiastically, but by the time Kai is edging the fourth one inside of him, he’s desperate again. “Please, please fuck me,” he begs, twisting to look between Kai and me as he writhes on his lover’s hand. “Please, I need it now, I’m so ready.”

I lean closer and cup Cam’s cheek. He looks debauched, consumed with lust, and so eager to give it to us. Kai holds steady, and his fingers continue working Cam over. He’s just as strung out, yet he patiently waits for my next command.

Fuck, they’re both beautiful.

And in this moment, they both feel like mine .

“Okay,” I say, and both men breathe sighs of relief. “Okay. On all fours.”

Cam hisses as Kai gently removes his fingers, then rolls over onto his hands and knees. I watch Kai oil himself, move into position, and rub the head of his cock across Cam’s hole. I take in the ecstasy that even that much gives him, and just as Kai begins to penetrate him and Cam begins to moan, I say, “Neither of you comes until I tell you to.”

Cam’s groan of pleasure becomes a squawk of outrage as Kai sinks all the way in, enough to make me chuckle a little bit. Kai takes the news like a soldier—stolid, nodding his head even though he seems to know this is going to be hard. But men like him live for challenges, and the filthy grin he shoots my way says he’s up for this one.

“Continue how you like it,” I add, and—

Gods, the pace they begin at is rapid and rough enough that I would be worried if they hadn’t been fucking every night for over a week. It’s hot, amazing, gorgeous to watch. The sounds of their bodies coming together over and over, the way Cam’s volume builds without him even realizing it… It’s addictive.

I could watch this forever.

I want to do more than watch, I want to join in—to suck Cam’s cock into my mouth and feel him pulse inside of me, to stroke him through it until he’s spent, and then to bring him up for another with no break. I want so badly to touch him, and if I don’t come up with a way to distract myself, I just might break my own word.

I shove my hand inside my pants and touch myself instead.

“Oh, fuck! ” Cam watches me for all of a second before he’s reaching down and grabbing himself—not to get off, but to grip the base of his dick in a viciously tight grasp. “Fuck, no, I’m going to come, stop, stop!”

Kai slows, then stops. He’s breathing hard, obviously close himself, but he stops for Cam. After a second, he pulls Cam back so that he’s straddling Kai’s broad thighs, settling him even deeper onto his cock. Cam is still breathing hard and holding himself tight, trying to regain control.

For me. Because I told him to.

And Kai is helping him.

Fuck, now I want to come.

I’ve never seen Cam like this before—of course I haven’t; even when I’ve stood guard outside his bedroom trysts, I’ve never seen this much of his body—but it’s more than that. It’s like I’m seeing into his soul, witnessing the heights of his pleasure and the depths that he’ll sink to deny it, all for me. And seeing him impaled like this on Kai’s thick cock, knowing that, even though Kai isn’t moving, it still has to be a wonderful torment inside of him…

“You’re both so good,” I say.

Cam opens his eyes and looks at me with an adoration that I never thought I’d see again. I want to please him, so I do the only thing I can—I bare myself to him so he can see how hard he’s made me and watch me work my own hand up and down my length. They both stare as I stroke, stroke, stroke, getting closer and closer until—

I start to pulse over my fist with a groan as I say, “Come with me,” and that’s all it takes. Kai begins thrusting again, Cam lets go of the base of his cock and watches as I milk the last few drops from myself, and then he’s gone. He comes untouched, convulsing, upright only thanks to the unbreakable bands of Kai’s arms around his stomach and shoulders. His head tilts back, and he makes a sound like he’s dying, and it’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

It takes a while to settle after that. Cam is exhausted, and Kai has to clean him up because as soon as they’re separated, Cam decides to cling to me like a barnacle, burying his face against my chest. It’s not outrightly sexual, but it is sensual to hold him while he smells like this, like sex and sweat, while he’s still shaking with the aftershocks of his orgasm and panting against my skin. The pearl on the end of his necklace digs into my skin, but I don’t mind. It actually feels…kind of nice. Smooth, warm. Like a piece of Cam that wants me badly enough to try and make a home in my skin.

When Kai finally lies down on the other side of Cam wearing nothing but his own matching pearl, our eyes meet for a moment. I smile at him, knowing that I’m indebted to him for making Cam so happy. He nods back and moves in tight without pulling Cam away. It should be too hot, too close, too much .

I fall asleep in seconds.