Page 48 of Wild Rose (Blue River Springs #1)

Wilder

Gut-wrenchingly hollow. With a heavy weight of regret stuck in my chest. If I’m honest, it’s been there all week, but it’s especially strong this morning.

I can still see her. That look in her eyes begging me to understand the innocence in what she did.

Fuck, I still don’t. I never will.

But that little misstep is not what made me walk out. It just opened my eyes. Because all I saw was myself being that mistake for her down the line.

I watched the light in her eyes flicker out. Watching her swallow hard, give me a small nod like she understood when I asked her to give me time. No, a day. I asked for a day.

And I’ve been a coward all week. Albeit busy with damage control at the ranch, but nonetheless, a coward.

She was right in that text she sent me. It all happened so fast.

One minute I’m asking her to stay with me. We’d work the rest out. Her brother, her dreams, we’d figure it all out. I’d make it number one on all my lists until we do.

Next, I tell her I need time and leave her in tears.

All because of that part in me that never wants to feel not enough, a second thought .?.?. like someone you can walk away from.

I growl, pinching the bridge of my nose hard as I realize the irony of my actions.

Shit.

Why does it feel too damn quiet here? And empty.

What day is it? Rose is supposed to come here with the timecards for payroll. I check the time. Almost eleven. She always has them ready for me before noon on Thursdays.

I stand and pace, my heart racing as I think of what I’m going to say to her. If I’m even ready to say it.

An hour later, I nearly leap out of my seat at the sound of an engine humming outside the Saddle Room, even if it is too loud to be some decked-out golf cart.

Sure enough, Dallas bursts through the door like he owns half the place.

“Hey,” I grumble.

Unlike me, he’s a heavy coffee drinker. And right about now I’ll take any scent that reminds me of her.

I check the time again.

Where is she? It’s almost noon.

Rose’s lights were out already by the time I rode by last night so I’m assuming she didn’t have a late start today.

I pull up the schedule again for a distraction, even though I’ve already memorized it and know we’re in good shape for the weekend. Rose made sure of it.

The only real problems I’ve got now are two sick animals and a head chef not talking to me.

“Look, man, I know things are a little hectic right now, but you need to slow down,” Dallas says, taking a seat at Rose’s desk. “You’ve been running around all week like a chicken without a head.”

“Just need to make sure we’ve got it all covered.” I sigh. “You seen Rose today? Need to see what we owe for last week’s payroll.”

“Nine thousand, five hundred and two.”

I look up at him. “How could you possibly know that?”

He gives me a smug grin. “Signed off on it yesterday. Lost my favorite hoodie in the process, but I’ll manage.”

I shake my head. “I don’t understand. Today’s Thursday—”

He sits up, intrigued. “Today’s Friday. Rose came by yesterday .”

I push off my chair. “She was here? And you didn’t say anything?”

“You left. Figured you didn’t want to see her.”

“I left because Landry called and said the vet was here and I met him over by the barn.” I realize I’m shouting.

Because it’s fucking Friday.

I told her I needed one day. And I took a fucking week.

I pace the floor. No doubt she thought I left to avoid her and left Dallas to sign off instead.

“I need to go find her.”

“Wilder.” His deep voice stops me in my tracks. “I don’t think you’re going to find her.”

“Like hell I won’t.”

I always find her.

“What difference would it make?” he shouts as I pull the door open. “Every girl you lay eyes on you compare to Bonnie.”

I don’t move.

“You screwed something up with Wesley’s sister and this poor girl is here blaming herself.”

I turn to face him. “What do you mean? What did she say?”

“Nothing I’m sure you don’t already know deep inside. You want to run yourself out of a future with someone special? You go right ahead. But not Rose. She’s too young to deal with your insecure shit.”

I glare at him and the man doesn’t even blink. “I’ll find her,” I repeat.

And chant it all the way to her cottage.

My stomach drops like a stone when I reach it minutes later and find a freshly painted golf cart parked out front.

No. No, no.

I push her unlocked door open and fly in. Wesley is in the corner of the living room, cleaning up her art supplies.

She’s not here. It feels too empty.

“Don’t worry,” he says, groaning as he pushes to his feet. “I’ll have this all cleaned up and tossed soon.”

“Where is she?” I pant.

He’s not surprised by my question. He checks his watch. “Probably over Indiana right about now.”

Any breath I have left is knocked out of me. “She left?”

Wes nods. “Three hours ago.”

“You let her go?” I shout.

He dusts his hands with an exasperated sigh. “No. You let her go.”

I run a hand down my damp face, glancing down the hall as if she’d magically appear. “I mixed up my days. I missed her.”

“Yeah, I don’t know what that means, but I’ll come back and clean up here later. I need to get back to work.”

“Don’t touch any of it,” I growl, my heart pounding like I’ve just lost everything.

Relief rolls through me when I find the familiar yellow envelope still tucked inside the tin trashcan. Bending, I lift it up and shake off the excess trash.

From the corner of my eye, I see Wes lingering by the door. “You put these in?”

I turn to him in a daze. “What?”

“The locks. You do this?”

I swallow, having no clue if Rose told him yet—like I hoped she would. “Yeah.”

Another nod. “Thank you.”

I slide the envelope safely into a drawer and cross to the living room. “You don’t think she’s nuts for needing them?” I ask.

And it’s almost accusatory and defensive.

“I think she’s my sister and I love her. And because I am the way I am, she didn’t tell me about the one thing in her life that scared her half to death.” He looks at me. “But she told you.”

I wait for the blow. The claims of betrayal. “Why are you here?” he asks.

I swipe at my brow. “I asked her for a day. I took six.”

He frowns like this means nothing to him. “Why are you here?”

I look around the small house. It’s not Millie’s anymore. It’s hers. And hell, some nights, it felt like ours. The bed, the showers, the cooking, the painting, the chocolate shavings.

My eyes fall to the canvas resting up against the back wall. With the cowboy lifting up the city girl into his arms like I’m her damn hero.

I swallow hard. “I’m here because I fell in love with your sister.”

He stares at me for a long moment, then breaks with a scoff. “Unbelievable.”

“Wes. You know I’d never do anything to hurt our friendship again otherwise.”

“I feel a but coming on .?.?.”

“But I need to go find her.”

His eyes drop for a moment, like he’s remembering something. Maybe something she told him? He lifts his gaze to mine. “You don’t get another chance here, Wild. You screw this up .?.?. you hurt her .?.?. we’re through too.”

I swallow at the thought, even if I know I’d never let it happen. I manage an easy grin. “This a ‘three-strikes and you’re out’ kind of thing?”

He deadpans me. “This is a ‘hurt her again and you’re dead to me’ thing.”