Page 7

SIX

WRENLY

I expect him to blow up at me, but he doesn’t. Instead, he listens, nods his head, then clears his throat. I expected this whole conversation to go about a million times worse than it’s actually going, but that doesn’t mean I’m not leery. I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop because I know it probably will.

Nothing in life is this easy, especially after hiding a pregnancy and a whole child for two years. I do appreciate Eli's calmness, though. I really was expecting more drama. I can’t imagine both hearing and seeing the news at the same time. Having it be something so life-altering and appearing out of seemingly nowhere.

I watch as he slides his palms down the thighs of his jeans, and I can’t help but press my own together at the sight. I should not be thinking about those hands sliding down my body or the way his jeans are tight in the thighs because he’s so muscular.

There’s also the fact that he said I was the best he ever had. I cannot fathom that which is why I didn’t respond to it. Those words just don’t register in my brain. They can’t. How could they? It was only the second time I had sex. I didn’t know what I was doing. Honestly, I still wouldn’t know what to do if the occasion were to arise again.

Eli clears his throat, and his gaze searches mine. It’s late, and he looks exhausted. I want to ask him if he needs to continue this tomorrow, but I decide against it. I’m going to let him lead this whole conversation. I’m the one who messed up here, and I want him to have the ability to ask whatever he wants and say whatever he needs to say.

“What does the future, from this moment on, look like?” he asks.

Pressing my lips together, I think about his question. I don’t know how to answer it. I’m not sure what he wants me to say. I could tell him that it’s up to him, but it’s not. Ryan and I have a life, and we have my father back at home in Texas, and the reality is that we’re strangers to one another.

“I’m not sure,” I admit. “It depends on how involved you want to be. I know that I came here, appearing out of nowhere with a whole child. So I’m not sure what role you want to play, if any. The ball is in your court,” I say, using my father’s words mainly because I can’t think of any other way to put it or anything else to say.

He nods, then clears his throat again. “I think I need to sleep on this. How long are you going to be here in Ohio?”

I slide my tongue across my bottom lip, and my eyes connect to his. “Our return flight to Texas is in one week.”

He hisses, his eyes flicking from me to the bed, then back to me. “I have another game this week. I’m going to be training the whole time. I want to discuss this further, though. I just need to think.”

“I understand that,” I say. “I have no other plans this week aside from working this out. Whatever you decide you don’t want or need from me or whatever you want, I’m willing to do it. I needed to come here and tell you in person. I’ve done that, so beyond that, it’s all up to you. However you choose to proceed, I will be okay with it.”

I’m not sure if I’m sounding like I don’t need him or don’t want him. I don’t mean to sound that way at all. But the truth of the matter is that Ryan is what matters. I’m not going to beg Eli to be in our lives, but as his biological father, he deserves the opportunity to be a part of it, be in Ryan’s life, if that’s what he wants.

A few moments later, after we’ve exchanged cell phone numbers, Eli gets ready to leave. He doesn’t walk out of the room immediately, though. Instead, he stands at the foot of the bed, watching Ryan sleep for a long, silent moment before he slips from the hotel room.

But not before he reminds me to latch the locks in place, just in case. I give him a smile and a small nod because it reminds me of my father.

Then I send my dad a text.

We’re safe in the room. I told him tonight.

DADDY-O: And?

Took it well. Confused. Needs to think about some things. Wasn’t mad at all. Seemed to understand where I was coming from.

DADDY-O: Maybe he wasn’t such a bad pick for the position of father after all.

I laugh to myself because if my father knew everything. If he knew that it was a one-night stand. If he knew that I knew literally nothing about this man when I slept with him and created Ryan, he would not have said that. I didn’t pick Eli. Not in the slightest. My hormones did.

ELI

Leaving the hotel, I am feeling about a million different emotions. What the fuck just happened tonight? Like, what the actual fuck? I walk to my truck and climb into the driver’s seat, but I don’t go anywhere.

I’m not sure where to go or what to do. I’m completely confused. Just as I’m about to start the truck engine, my phone rings. Reaching into the cup holder, where I tossed it as I climbed inside, I slide my thumb across the screen and lift it to my ear.

“Daniel,” I state.

“I’m at your house, and you aren’t here,” he announces.

“I’m sitting outside of a hotel across from the arena trying to figure out what the actual fuck,” I state.

He snorts, although I can tell it’s not truly humor-filled. “We’re all waiting for you here. Come on home, and then we can talk about everything.”

My friends. They mean well, but I’m not sure I want to talk to anyone about this. I’m thinking that I need to call my stepdad. My mother would be too emotional. My stepdad would give me solid advice without tapping into just emotions.

That being said, he would be pissed if I called him at this hour and wasn’t in the hospital. So, instead of calling him, I do what Daniel tells me to, and I drive home. The entire drive is nothing but a blur.

I’m not sure what to expect at two o’clock in the morning when I pull into my driveway, but it’s not the whole fucking crew.

Not only is Daniel standing on my front porch, but so are Luke, Pavel, and Henry. “What the fuck,” I whisper to myself.

Shifting the truck into Park , I open the door and inhale a deep breath as I climb out of the front seat, then let it out the moment my feet touch the concrete. I don’t know what the fuck is going to happen here, but I am glad they’re all here.

I thought it would be good to come home and crash after at least getting the basics of what happened with Wrenly, with the baby. But as I started driving, I realized that I had no fucking clue of what to do, and I’ve never felt so alone in my whole fucking life.

Luke takes a step toward me. Everyone here has likely heard from Daniel that I now have a kid. He appears the most concerned, which is likely because his daughter, Sloane, is almost the exact same age as Ryan.

Fuck me.

“Daniel told me you have a kid. What the hell is going on?” he asks.

It’s beyond comical. Flat out. I jerk my chin toward the front door, a silent signal to go inside, mainly because my neighbors can be nosy as fuck, and I don’t want to deal with any questions.

I walk toward the front door, unlock it, walk inside, and flip on the living room light as the other men follow. Everyone follows behind me, taking their usual seats in the living room. They’ve all been here enough over the years that everyone has unassigned assigned seating.

Instead of making anyone ask me again, I just start to spill it all. They don’t know about Wrenly, not really. Sure, a few of them know I met someone, and she ghosted me. But that’s about all because, honestly, that’s all it was until now.

When I’ve finished telling them everything, Daniel whistles, but it’s Pavel who speaks. “You are going to let her walk away?” he asks, but it sounds more accusatory.

“I don’t know what to do,” I confess, and I know it makes me seem weak as fuck. Because I really don’t know what to do. I can say that this is, without a doubt, a situation I’ve never been in or ever considered before.

Pavel stands to his feet. “That is your child,” he announces, his accented voice booming. “And you have wanted the girl for two years. Now you do not know?”

I almost laugh, except nothing about this is very funny. “He wanted her for some fun,” Henry chuckles. “He wasn’t sure he wanted to marry her. He doesn’t know her. I get that.”

“And are you sure you’re the father?” Daniel asks, not for the first time.

Shrugging a shoulder, I clear my throat. “I’m pretty fucking certain, and she said she would do whatever I needed as far as that stuff goes.”

Luke has been fairly quiet during this explanation, but his chin jerks toward me, and he stands to his feet.

“I’m not going to give you any advice that you don’t want,” he announces, and I know that means he’s about to give me advice. I almost laugh, but instead, I bite the inside of my cheek as he continues. “You have thought about her for years. She is the mother of your kid. I think you should at least get to know one another.”

I don’t tell him that all I wanted to do tonight, even as confused as I was, was to fuck her. That’s all I wanted, to be inside of her again. She fucking walked away from me. No, she ran scared, thought that I had ditched her that night, and didn’t know how to tell me she was pregnant.

And I can’t blame her.

But it’s been two years, and now, with us sharing a child, I don’t know what to expect. What to want. I’ve never been so confused in all my life. I don’t have relationships. I do one-night stands, and I play hockey. That’s what I know.

This shit is as clear as fucking mud.