Page 27 of Wild Life (STEAM-y #2)

Daydreams and Nightmares

Aleki

“Stay still.” Maris plucked a weed from Poaka’s fur as he tried to wriggle out of her hold. I couldn’t blame him. His grooming session was uncomfortable, especially since she was doing it with a plastic fork.

Maris focused intensely, the tip of her tongue sticking out of her slightly parted lips, as she extracted weeds, food, and bugs from Poaka’s coat. She was careful not to disturb his cuts, which were still healing from being trapped in thorns. “You really got yourself into it, didn’t you? And now you’re so stinky!”

He was a pig, after all—one who wasn’t a fan of water.

Poaka dived under her knee, burying his snout and attempting to slide through for a quick escape. “Just one more,” she said, prying a beetle from her burly moving target.

Poaka let out a shrill squeal as he jumped.

Maris’s arms went around him, guiding him back onto her lap. “I’m sorry. Shhh,” she soothed, petting him softly. He cuddled into her like a baby, soaking up the attention.

Suddenly, images of Maris with a baby in her lap flashed through my mind. My baby. Her belly swollen with another little one.

I stood marveling at the mental picture of her eyes glowing with love as she soothed our child.

I had never had daydreams like this, but then again, I had never had this life before.

She caught me mid-reverie. “What?”

I smiled. “You two are cute together.”

She peered down at Poaka, who was as still as if he were asleep. “It’s mostly the furry pig. He can make anyone look cute.”

“It’s funny how much you love him now.”

“I’ve always loved him.” It rolled off her tongue so smoothly that she almost fooled me. Almost.

“Liar.”

“Okay, fine. He was frightening at first. Big and always pushing me around. After the snake attack, he’s grown on me.”

“Just like me?” I asked smugly.

“Just like you,” she purred.

She adored me, and though we couldn’t keep our hands off each other, underneath the lust, there was something more—something deeper that tugged at my heart when she smiled at me. The same feeling that made my stomach drop when I was away from her for too long.

Despite all the happiness, a nagging question prodded at me. “Do you miss your old life?” I asked.

Her face fell, and that pit in my stomach returned. “Yes.”

Hearing it dampened my newly found happiness.

“Don’t you miss it?” she asked, turning the question on me.

I hesitated. I would’ve immediately answered yes if I were still a child. Initially, I had missed the luxuries of the modern world. The convenience. The people. Ice cream. Except, things had changed. I had changed. Hope disappeared. “I don’t really remember my old life. This is all I know. This island is my life now, and I don’t think about anything beyond it.”

She worried her bottom lip. “You never wanted to go back home and meet someone? Fall in love? Start a family and have some cute little baby Cryptids?”

My mind stretched to consider those new goals. “I guess I never considered it. How about you? Do you want those things?”

She shook her head frantically, disrupting Poaka’s peace. He fled her lap and ran for the trees, far away from the plastic fork. “No, no. Marriage isn’t my thing.”

“Why not?” A part of me was disappointed, even if she hadn’t specifically answered the part about having children.

“I’m not good at relationships. I purposely keep men at a distance. Hell, I’ve never really committed to anyone. I used random guys for comfort and safety, and I never really moved forward into something serious.”

“Why?” Hearing about her past men wasn’t easy, but I was curious to know what had scared her away from them.

“I’m afraid that things will end, and that I can’t control it. I guess it has something to do with losing my parents at such a young age.”

“So, you had boyfriends?” She must have had a few since she had lived in the modern world longer than I had.

“I’m not sure they would qualify as boyfriends . There were certainly guys I saw regularly.”

“Were you seeing guys regularly before you came here?” It turned my stomach to ask that question, yet I wanted to know.

“Kind of.” She blinked rapidly. “There was this one guy who was on my research team, on the boat that I was on before I fell overboard. His name was Eli. I had hooked up with him off and on for a few years, but he wanted more. I freaked out and ended things the night before the storm.”

I treaded carefully into this dangerous line of questioning, “Did he take it well?”

She shrugged and offered a half-hearted laugh that didn’t reach her eyes. “I don’t know. I kinda fell off the boat before finding out.”

I didn’t like this Eli. I was certain he was out there somewhere pining for her. I would have been too, if I had been in his place. Maris would have been difficult to forget. The memory of her would be far more painful than death.

“Would you go back if you were rescued tomorrow?” I asked, willing my voice to remain casual. If she scared away from relationships easily, then I needed to proceed with caution.

She remained quiet, her mind blaring wildly inside of her head.

“I won’t be offended by your answer.” I wanted her honesty, without worrying about me.

“Yes, I would go back,” she said.

If I could have traveled time and retracted my question, I would have. “This… thing between us would end?” I didn’t know how to label it now, especially since she didn’t like commitment.

“I wouldn’t want it to,” she admitted.

Maybe she’d want to carry on this relationship with me and Eli at the same time. The idea bothered me. I refused to share her. “It would have to end because I wouldn’t want to leave.”

She blinked slowly, stunned by my words. “Like, not ever? Not even for me?”

I could never go back. I had spent too much time away from civilization to be reintroduced again. Wearing clothes and working in an office would be too great an adjustment for me. I would find daily life miserable. Life here was the only one I was capable of enduring.

“I won’t be offended,” she repeated my lie to me.

I was afraid to voice my rejection. That I wouldn’t leave for anyone. My life was here, and if I left, I’d lose my purpose. I plastered on a weak smile and sat next to her, my arm brushing against hers. “Let’s not talk about things we don’t have to worry about anytime soon.”

“Okay.” Her head dropped onto my shoulder, and I rested my head on hers.

After some time, she spoke. “I would miss you, though—if it really happened and I was rescued tomorrow.”

I pressed a kiss to the top of her head, inhaling her spicy-sweet scent and committing it to memory. “I would miss you more than you could ever know.”

As uncertain as I was about our future, I was convinced that good things never lasted.

Could I ever go back to a life without Maris now that I knew what I would be missing? If she went back to her old life? To Eli?