Page 25 of Wild Horses

The fallen log by the creek had become a makeshift confessional. The rush of swollen waters provided a soundtrack to a conversation Christy had never anticipated having.

‘Why did you take off last night?’ she asked. Leo didn’t really need to answer. The rawness in his eyes said it all. ‘You saw me and your dad, right?’

‘I thought ... I don’t know.’ Leo looked down and kicked at the muddy ground. ‘It just felt like a punch in the guts.’

She took a deep breath and asked the second question she didn’t want an answer to. ‘And why did it feel like that, Leo?’

He stared at her, incredulous. ‘Did you think I wouldn’t care? That it wouldn’t matter?’

Christy gathered her thoughts, unsure of the way through this mess she’d created. Where would she find the words?

But if she was finding talking difficult, it seemed that Leo wasn’t. ‘I’ve thought about what happened a lot,’ he said. ‘Thought about it all night, and I think I understand now.’

‘Leo, I—’ Christy began, but he cut her off.

‘That kiss between you and Dad.’ He wet his lips. ‘That kiss was just because of the show. It didn’t mean anything, right? You two were just caught up in the moment.’

Christy’s breath caught in her chest. The enormity of his misunderstanding staggered her – the distance between her true feelings and his perception of them an unbridgeable chasm.

Yes, the show had been a catalyst, but what had sparked between her and Tyler last night was no mere byproduct of the moment.

It was real, potent, and staggering in its intensity.

She wanted to set Leo straight, but the words lodged in her throat.

To her horror, he seemed to take her silence as affirmation. A flicker of relief crossed his features. ‘I thought so.’

Christy’s mind reeled in confusion. She had to pull herself together, had to make Leo understand her role as his teacher only – something she should have done as soon as Clare warned her of his growing crush.

‘Leo,’ she began hesitantly, her fingers fidgeting with the zip of her jacket as she tried to regain her composure and professionalism.

‘It would be inappropriate to discuss my private life with you. But you’re an incredible boy, you know that?

You’re smart, and talented, and you have so much potential. ’

‘Thanks,’ he replied cautiously, his eyes searching hers for signs of what was to come. ‘But ...?’

‘But ...’ She inhaled deeply. ‘There are some things we need to face head-on. Like the fact that I’m your teacher, and you’re my student.

And there’s a considerable age difference between us.

Not only do I not feel that way about you, but also it’s illegal.

You should find someone your own age to explore those feelings with. ’

‘Age is just a number,’ Leo said stubbornly. ‘It doesn’t decide who we are or how we feel about each other.’

Christy’s heart ached at his determination. ‘But it does shape our experiences and our place in life. We have different paths to follow, Leo. You have so much growing and learning ahead of you. I’m not the person to walk that journey with you.’

‘You can’t be sure of that,’ he insisted. ‘And I’ll be eighteen in less than two years.’

‘Leo, please. I get that you’re hurting right now, and I wish I could fix that for you. But you have to accept the reality of our situation.’

‘Things can change,’ he whispered. ‘That’s all I’m saying.’

‘Some things can’t change.’ Christy stared at him in exasperation. She had to make Leo listen. His future at Currawong Creek depended on it. If they couldn’t come to an understanding, one of them would have to leave. And looming over Leo was the threat of youth detention.

Christy wondered briefly if she should mention that, use it as leverage.

But one look into Leo’s hopeful green eyes – eyes so like his father’s – gave her the answer.

She wasn’t supposed to know Leo was at the camp via a court-ordered diversion program.

Teachers weren’t normally privy to the students’ individual circumstances.

Discovering that she knew about his run-in with the law could totally humiliate him.

She wouldn’t do that – she simply wouldn’t.

Her protective instincts towards Leo were too strong.

Christy choked down the bile rising in her throat.

She’d have to solve this problem another way.

‘I owe you an apology,’ Leo blurted out, suddenly. ‘I was on such a high after the show, so I went to find you – to thank you. When I saw you kiss Dad, well ... I felt betrayed, like a fool. I’m sorry I overreacted and worried everyone.’

Christy’s heart clenched painfully in her chest. She couldn’t burden him with the truth, not when he was already struggling with so much.

‘There’s one more thing,’ he said. ‘Please don’t tell my dad about our conversation, or that I saw him kiss you. Promise me.’ He idly pulled a strip of bark from the log, his gaze fixed on the ground. ‘I don’t think I could face him if you did.’

Christy’s heart sank. Making this promise would mean she couldn’t explain to Tyler why she’d need to pull away from him, and why she’d also need to pull away from his son.

But it was a sacrifice she’d have to make.

This was a mess entirely of her own making.

You’d think she’d have learned after Samuel.

But no – she’d ignored Clare’s warning, and she couldn’t let Leo take the fall for her stupidity.

She shuddered to think how close Leo had come to being sent away.

‘All right, Leo,’ she agreed softly, swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat. ‘I promise. Your secret is safe with me.’

Lofty stomped a forefoot and tossed his head. Leo jumped up, brushing the dirt from his jeans, and stroked his horse’s head. ‘Maybe we should head back.’

‘Not yet,’ said Christy. ‘Now I need a promise from you.’ She hesitated. How to set boundaries without revealing her own heartache? ‘I care about you, but not in the way you want. Our relationship must remain as teacher and student. It can never be anything more. Agreed?’

‘All right, Christy – I mean Miss P,’ he mumbled, his eyes fixed on Lofty’s big brown ones. ‘I get it.’

‘Thank you,’ she said, her voice thick with unshed tears. ‘Come on, Leo. You have no idea how glad everyone will be to see you – especially your father. Do you know he searched for you all night?’

Leo looked sceptical. ‘What, in that storm?’

‘That’s right. When the rest of us packed it in he just kept going, soaked to the bone. Hasn’t had a wink of sleep. Then he was the first out again today. It’ll be a wonder if he doesn’t catch pneumonia.’

Leo’s eyes lit up and he gave her an uncertain smile. ‘I should thank him, then.’

‘Yes,’ said Christy. ‘You should. And you should ring him to say that we’re heading home and will be back in an hour or so.’

Leo obediently found his phone and made the call.

Christy imagined Tyler’s delight at hearing from his son and wished that she could ask to speak to him. ‘What will you say when your dad asks why you ran away?’

‘I can’t tell him the truth, so I won’t say anything. I’ll just tell him it’s private. Dad will accept that. He’ll have to.’

And he would, thought Christy. Tyler would be so relieved that disaster had been averted, that he wouldn’t push his son.

She tried telling herself things weren’t so bad.

Her lie had saved the boy’s relationship with his father, which is what she’d been hoping for.

She’d laid out proper boundaries and Leo had accepted them.

Now he could stay on at the camp and continue to shine.

And all she had to do was give up Tyler . ..

The wind had eased by the time they mounted their horses and rode back along the creek. Overhead the storm clouds were fleeing east, revealing patches of blue. When they reached the ford, the flood waters had dropped, although a swift current still flowed over the smooth river rocks.

Honey whinnied nervously. Lofty took the lead, crossing the creek in two big bounds, giving Honey the confidence to follow. Leo grinned at her. Christy wished the ocean of their misunderstandings could be bridged so easily.

As they headed for home, Christy remained lost in thought.

Her heart ached with the knowledge that she was keeping secrets from both Tyler and Leo.

She’d endure that pain if it meant protecting those she cared about, but how on earth would she be able to move forwards?

The idea of losing Tyler left her heartbroken, knowing she was giving up on the potential love of her life without even having the chance to explain why.

As they approached the homestead, a dozen people cantered out to meet them. Clare, Tom, Maggie, Tyler and half-a-dozen teens. Jack followed on Sparky, his grey pony, with Samson running at his heels. Whoops and cheers rose from the group as they rode closer.

Christy kept her emotions carefully in check, her face a calm mask, although she was fearful that people would somehow look inside and see the splinters of her heart.