Page 16 of Wild Card (Royal Bastards MC: Cody, Wyoming #1)

FOURTEEN

Ruby

I finish filling Earl in on what happened when he gets back to the bar, and after closing the place up for him, I decide to take a nightcap and wait up a little longer in the hope of seeing Ash.

I shouldn’t torture myself; I should start learning to accept what my fate is.

But every time I see that guy, I get a feeling that I’m fast becoming addicted to.

I can’t stand thinking about the things I’ll have to do with Brett once we’re married.

Yet, when I think about doing those things with Ash, everything changes.

My skin goes all tingly, and something warm and exciting collects in the pit of my stomach.

I can’t help imagining his hands on me, gripping just that little too tight, while his tongue invades my mouth.

“ Shit .” I laugh at myself for being so pathetic. It’s been a long day, and I really need to go to bed and try to get some sleep.

Knocking back my drink, I stop staring at the door, willing Ash to come through it and steadily start making my way up the stairs to my room.

My living space may be very basic, but it feels like home.

I never expected to be staying here as long as I have, but I’m comfortable.

It’s convenient for work, and Earl is good to me.

I’d much rather be here being myself than playing happy families with Brett.

It doesn’t matter how beautiful the home he created for us is.

I already know I’ll never be happy there.

I still feel much too young to settle down. I want to experience more of that reckless freedom I felt when I was riding with Ash earlier today.

I swap my clothes for my PJs, then cleanse my skin and moisturize just like Momma always did before she went to bed.

I allow myself a few seconds to wonder what she’d think of all that's happening to me. She’d undoubtedly feel guilt; she’d blame herself, but if I know her, she’d be telling me to fight.

I’ve thought so many times about leaving town, moving somewhere new, and starting a fresh, new life, but I like the people here too much.

Mom loved this little town and the people in it.

The years we spent here, she was happy. I have friends here now, people who care about me, and something tells me that even if I did leave, Brett and Dad would find me.

I wish I knew why it was me that Brett had to involve in his grand plans for the future. He does so well at reminding me that I’m just an average girl, yet he’s never taken the time to explain why this average girl is so pivotal to his plans and has to have the rest of her life ruined.

People who have money, like the Porters do, tend to believe that life revolves around it, but I see things differently.

Everything I own and treasure is in this room, and nothing of that is worth a cent.

Brett would be better matched with someone like Katie Trigg.

Her family is rich. Her daddy’s a judge, and she’s much better at putting on a show for people than I am.

Not to mention the fact that she’s way prettier.

I lie in bed staring at the ceiling, wasting the time I should spend sleeping by wishing things could be different.

I hated how disappointed in me Ash looked earlier tonight.

I’ve felt the guilt of it ever since I left to go to Brett’s house.

It’s strange that a stranger can be so invested in me, but I can’t help liking it.

I like how it feels to have him care for me.

Although me caring for him in return seems to have its disadvantages.

Him rushing off the way he did when I got back has made me worried.

Every time I think about the danger he could be in, I get a strange sense of panic in my chest that I can’t shake off.

I eventually hear movement on the stairs, followed by a creak of the landing floor, and when I see the shadow of his footprints through the tiny gap at the bottom of the door, I smile when they pause outside my room.

That excitement stirs up inside me again, and although I really shouldn’t, I silently pray for him to knock at my door.

I want him to come inside to say goodnight, to tell me what happened tonight, even if it’s something bad.

I want him to hold me in his arms the same way he did when I thought it was Earl in that damn ambulance.

I swear I don’t breathe while I wait for him to make his next move, and when the floor creaks again and he moves on, all that excitement turns into a heavy disappointment.

“This guy’s gonna drive me crazy,” I whisper to myself and throw my head back into the pillow.

Anticipation has caused the space between my legs to start throbbing with its own pulse.

There's a desperate ache that I’ve never felt before, and I’m wondering how it’s possible to crave something I’ve never had.

It’s as frustrating as it is puzzling, and I claw at my hair while trying to come up with a way to sustain it.

I could try touching myself, maybe imagine that my hand belongs to him. Or I could just get up, cross the landing, and go to him…Check that he’s okay. If he was doing club work, there's every chance he could have been injured, and I do owe him a favour since he was there for me last night.

I slowly creep out of bed and start making my way toward the door.

I’ve got plenty of footsteps left between here and his room to convince myself that this is a terrible idea, yet every step I take closer convinces me that it’s not.

I make it out onto the landing, and when I see light creeping out from under his door, I quickly tap it with my knuckles before any sense takes over.

“Who is it?” His rough voice comes from the other side, and even that makes me go all kinds of giddy.

“It’s just me…Ruby,” I answer, chewing on my thumb and considering running back to my room.

He’s going to think I’m pathetic for going back to Brett, and I have no defense for it, none that I can tell him about, anyway.

He’s going to have questions. Questions I can’t give him the answer to and suddenly I want to turn and run.

“Come in,” he calls back, and before I can give myself a chance to hesitate, I twist the doorknob and march inside.

“Wow!” I pause and stare when I see him standing in front of me in just his jeans. His torso is long, ripped, and fucking incredible. Ash clearly works out.

“I was, ermmm…I just. I came to check that you're okay.” I manage to form somewhat of a sentence, lowering my head to the floor and trying not to stare.

“You came to check if I’m okay?” He laughs at me, pulling the chair out from under the desk, then twisting it around so he can straddle it. “Darlin’, I ain’t the one who's in an abusive relationship.” He looks up at me and somehow even makes the judgmental look sexy.

“Can we not talk about that?” I swallow the lump in my throat. “I was worried and was just being nice. I don’t want things to be bad between us,” I admit, knowing that despite the fact he comforted me earlier, he’s mad at me. My actions will be making no sense to him, so I can understand why.

“How do you want things to be between us?” he asks directly, looking me deep in the eyes so I feel his intensity.

“I want us to be friends; we’re living here together, we should get along,” I explain, leaving out the part about me wanting to be his, and his alone. The guy will already be thinking I’m insane.

“See, there's the problem.” He points his finger at me and laughs bitterly.

“ I may not have many of 'em, but I care about my friends and I don’t tolerate it when people hurt 'em.” He rests his forearms over the back of the chair and waits for my response.

All I want to do is step into his space and have him wrap those arms around me.

“I know what I’m doing, Ash. You don’t have to understand, and you don’t have to like?—”

“Do you love him?” he talks over me.

“I…I.”

“C’mon, it’s not a hard question. You're gonna marry this guy.” He reaches out and takes my hand, holding it up between us to remind me that Brett’s ring is back on my finger.

“How I feel about Brett doesn’t matter.” I shake my head.

“It matters to me,” he admits, standing up and kicking the chair out the way.

There’s a heat coming from him that matches my own; a tension between us that pulls like a magnet, and I feel powerless to fight against it.

“What are you doing in here, Ruby?” he asks, his raspy voice telling me that he knows exactly what I’m here for, and when he lifts my head with the crook of his finger and forces me to look at him, I see that he wants it too.

“What did you come to me for?” His sudden soft tone speaks straight to my pussy and makes it flutter.

“I…I…It was a stupid idea.” I go to turn away, but he grabs my arm and holds me firm.

“If ya don’t ask, ya don’t get,” he whispers, creeping his fingers up my arm to my shoulder, then settling them around my neck. I close my eyes and inhale, wondering why having him touch me this way doesn’t seem scary. Strangely, I’ve never felt safer.

“You want me to kiss ya again?” he asks, with his lips lingering dangerously close to mine. So close, I can almost taste them.

I nod my head because I’m weak, and clearly, I’m developing a habit of chasing trouble.

“You want me to touch you?” he asks, sliding his palm down my body so it rests between my tits.

I nod again, keeping my eyes shut tight and enjoying how it feels to have his hands back on me.

“Where? Where do you want me to touch you, pretty girl?’ I open my eyes and see him staring into mine, like he’s trying to read the thoughts in my head.

“Here?” His finger lower down my stomach, circling my belly button. “Here?” They skim along the waistline of my PJ shorts, and all I can do is nod back at him like I’m locked in some kind of trance.

“You belong to someone else, Ruby; you're untouchable .” He whispers the last word against my lips, and when he goes to back away, this time it’s me who grabs hold of him .

“No.” I hold him firm, so firm that my knuckles turn white and I feel myself shake. “Not tonight. Tonight I wanna be yours,” I confess, feeling my cheeks burn and stomach knot.

“Just for tonight?” he checks, toying with me as he keeps his forehead tight to mine and lifts his free hand up to slide into my hair.

“And what makes you think I’d let you go when tonight is over?” he questions, sliding his nose up my cheek like he’s taking in my scent.

“Because you have to,” I answer the only way I can.

“I never do what I’m supposed to do. I break rules and people hate me for it.

” He presses a kiss just beneath my ear, and I swear it causes a flood in my panties.

“Go back to your room, Ruby. Before you end up hating me, too.” His low husky voice holds so much restraint, and the something desperate that's inside me forces the words that come next to blurt out.

“I’m a virgin.” It seems those words shock him as much as I shock myself for admitting them.

“A what now?” He squints like he’s confused.

‘I’m a virgin,” I repeat, only this time much quieter.

“How? How the fuck are you a virgin?” He scrubs his hand over his mouth and looks as if he doesn’t believe me.

“Because I ain’t like the girls you're used to. I don’t drop my panties for any guy I meet. I believe that sex is a special, intimate thing tha?—”

“Okay, okay. Save me the speech. I understand.” He holds up his hands between us.

“You do?” I have to admit to being a little taken aback. I didn’t expect a guy like him to understand.

“No.” He shakes his head, taking my hand and dragging me over to stand in front of the mirror.

“Look atcha, you’re… You’re… You’re fuckin’ beautiful.

” I see myself blush, and when I lower my head again, he reaches around me and raises it back up.

“It should be illegal to look this good, even with a fat lip,” he sniggers, and when I go to turn around to slap him in the chest, he holds me firm and keeps me still.

“I’ve been saving it,” I admit, being honest and turning things serious again.

“For him?” The playful look drops off Ash’s face.

“No. Not for him. But it’s looking like he’s gonna be the one who takes it,” I admit, trying not to cry.

“What the hell does that man have on you?” His fingers tense around my jaw, and I see the veins in his arm poke out in our reflection. “You know, all ya have to do is tell me. I’ll fix it.” He narrows his eyes.

“You can’t fix it, Ash, but you can fix something.” I turn around so I’m looking up at him.

“I want you to take it,” I explain, feeling my heart beat faster and my stomach knot tighter.

“Me?” He looks shocked, despite it being so obvious.

“No questions, just…sex.” I blow out a breath, because suddenly I’m nervous as hell.

“I…I don’t know. Ruby, it’s not a good idea. I ain’t ever been anyone's first before and, you–”

“Please.” I stop him before he lists all the reasons why this is wrong. “I feel a certain kinda way when I’m with you. I’ve never had that before, and I’m pretty sure I won’t have it again. Please, Ash, I want it to be you.” I’m praying to God he doesn't turn me away.

“Turn around,” he growls, those eyes still narrow and unreadable, and I do as he says, spinning my body so I’m facing the mirror again.

“What are you doing?” I ask as his knuckles stroke over my cheek.

“You really want it to be me?” he checks, and when I look up at him through the mirror, I nod my head.

“Just once?”

“Just once,” I confirm, and when he grips the bottom of my tee and slowly raises it up over my head, I feel a combination of fear and excitement as I lift my arms to aid him.

Once it’s off, he scrunches the fabric in his fist and tosses it aside.

Sliding his fingers down the inside of my stretched-up arms, he kisses my cheek and stares at my bare chest in the reflection.

I rest my head back against his shoulder when he takes one of my tits in his palm, cradling it gently and circling my nipple with his finger.

“Open your eyes, pretty girl,” he whispers. “I want you to watch this.” His teeth graze over my earlobe, and it makes my breath hitch. “I want you to remember every fuckin’ detail.” His hand lowers slowly down my stomach, and his fingers slip under the waistband of my PJ shorts.

“I want you to remember that you're always gonna be mine. No matter whose ring you wear on your finger or who holds your hand on the street.” His middle finger strokes between my pussy lips, and my legs go weak.

“Watch, Ruby. Watch me make you mine.” His free hand lifts under my chin, and he presses two of his fingers into my mouth.