Page 36 of Wild Card (Foster Bro Code #2)

Bailey ran into the hall. “Holden! Axel needs us!”

Gray crouched in front of me, and damn, if he dared to get this close to Taz, then I must have looked like shit.

Emory hovered at the edge of the room, stepping aside when Holden arrived. “What happened?”

“Axel says Dalton left him,” Gray said tightly. “I just can’t believe it.”

“There’s no way,” Holden said flatly. “What did he say?”

“He’s running for sheriff.” I swallowed. “He wanted my blessing, I guess. Because things would have to change.”

“But that doesn’t mean he’s leaving you,” Bailey said.

“Same as,” I mumbled.

“Did he say what would need to change?” Gray pressed.

I shook my head. “It’s obvious, though, right? I’m not the guy a sheriff wants on his arm. I’d just be trouble for him.”

“So, don’t be trouble,” Holden said.

I scoffed. “Have you met me? I drink too much. I get in fights. I organize illegal gambling nights for shits and giggles.”

“That’s your choice,” Holden said. “You can choose whether you want those to do those things. They’re not who you are.”

“He’s right,” Emory said. “You’re a good guy. You’ve got a good heart. Dalton would be lucky to have you.”

I scoffed. “No, he’s already gone.”

“Did he actually say that?” Gray asked. “Because it sounds like all he said was things would change if he was sheriff, and that can mean a lot of things.”

“Things will change for him,” Holden said. “It’s a lot of responsibility to take on.”

“He can handle it,” I said quickly. “He’s the best man for the job.”

“And that right there?” Gray pointed at me. “That’s what makes you the best guy for him. You love him, Axel. You support him.”

My heart leapt with fear. “No, I— I can’t love —” I dropped my head into my hands, breath going ragged. “ Fuck !”

My chest hurt. I sucked air, but nothing was getting through, and my head was spinning. I sucked in breaths, trying harder to find the air, but it eluded me.

What was going on? Was I stroking out?

“Gray,” Holden said. “Don’t just stand there!”

The dogs whimpered. Gray muttered something about them being in the way.

A tentative hand landed on my head, then slipped to my shoulder and squeezed.

“You’re okay,” Holden murmured, slipping his arms around me. “Just breathe.”

“You can’t,” I rasped.

He shook a little, and his arms tightened around me. “It’s hard, but I can do it.” He let out a shuddery breath. “So can you.”

My pulse raced, and my breath came too quickly. Was this what Holden felt every time someone touched him? No wonder he avoided it.

“Breathe with me,” he said. “In for four seconds, then out for four.”

He drew in a deep breath. I inhaled. A few beats went by. Then he exhaled. I followed his lead, breath after breath, until my heart stopped racing. My eyes were wet. Fuck, was I crying? I never cried. I’d stopped the second time I got taken away from my parents.

That’s when I’d realized that tears didn’t help anything. They didn’t make anyone care about what you wanted.

Only you could do that. You had to fight for yourself. Fight for what you wanted. What you needed.

But could I really do that this time?

I lifted my head, and Holden drew back, looking pale and drawn. His eyes were red-rimmed as if maybe he’d shed a few tears too.

Bailey and Emory watched from the edge of the room as Gray hovered beside us, too unsure to touch us—or maybe still afraid of the dang dogs. They continued whining and licking at my neck. Banshee had joined the pack when I wasn’t looking.

“I’m okay.” My voice came out hoarse. I lifted a hand to pat Sugar so she’d calm down. “Are you okay, Holden?”

He nodded. “I, uh, might hide under the blankets later, but yeah.”

Banshee pressed against his side. He wrapped an arm around her and buried his face in her fur, taking comfort.

“What just happened?” Bailey asked, sounding confused. “I mean, I saw what happened, but…”

“Axel was on the verge of a panic attack,” Holden said. “I wanted to head it off before it got worse.”

I rubbed my face. “Never felt that way before. Holy hell, Holds. It’s rough.”

“Yeah,” Holden said quietly. “We should sit down. Come on.”

I got to my feet, feeling shaky, and followed Holden to the sofa, where we both collapsed. Holden kept a good foot of space between us now. But he’d reached out when I’d needed him, and I knew that hadn’t been easy.

“I’ll get you both some water,” Emory said, heading for the kitchen. He was always so quick to help however he could.

“How do you feel?” Gray asked tentatively.

“Like I just got hit by a truck,” I said, suddenly exhausted. “I don’t know why I freaked out like that.”

“This is a trigger for you,” Holden said. “Don’t you remember how you were when Gray left?”

Gray winced, a look of guilt flitting across his face. He’d apologized enough for all that. Our foster dad was the real villain for running Gray off and never telling us why.

“This isn’t the same,” I said. “Gray was my brother, and Dalton is…”

The man that I loved. Shit. My brothers had been right.

None of them said it. Probably too afraid they’d send me into another panic.

“So, what are you going to do now?” Gray asked. “Or should I not ask? I don’t want to make you feel worse.”

“It’s fine.” I shrugged. “I don’t know that I can do anything.

Dalton needs to run for sheriff. It’s the right thing to do.

” Emory handed me the glass of water, and I sipped it.

“I don’t want to stand in his way, so I guess I need to figure out if I can really help him. If not, I think I have to let him go.”

“Axel…” Emory said, voice pained. “I used to think like that. Don’t sell yourself short. You deserve better.”

“Em’s right,” Gray said. “You deserve love. Let yourself have it. Hell, fight for it if you have to. Don’t just give up. Remember how pissed you were at me for leaving? How you threatened to kick my ass if I ever did it again?”

My lips quirked. “Yeah, so?”

“So, fight for Dalton like that. If you do, he’ll never want to let you go.”

I gazed at my brothers gathered around me, all in my corner, fighting for me, fighting for my happiness.

My heart clenched painfully. I’d pulled away from them, tried to keep my distance, but here they were, anyway.

They hadn’t left.

I didn’t know what would happen with Dalton or his run for sheriff. Didn’t know how I would fit into that picture or if I’d only shatter it.

But whatever happened, I wasn’t alone. I’d never be alone.

I had my brothers. My family.

And it was time I stopped pushing them away.