Page 79 of Wild and Wrangled

“He does have a nice face,” I said. “Among other things.”

“Oh, fuck, yeah,” Ada said quietly, making sure Riley didn’t hear probably. Riley and the F-word had a complicatedhistory, thanks to Gus. We were working on it. “That’s what I’m talking about.”

A laugh escaped me. “You’re ridiculous,” I said as I picked up a pair of chicken-shaped salt and pepper shakers—trying to will the blush off my cheeks. “Last night was good,” I said with a shrug. It was universes beyond good, but it felt too vast to even put into words.

“Okay…so what happens now?” Ada asked.

“I…really don’t know.” I sighed as I set the salt and pepper shakers down. It was true, but I saw Ada clock the hesitation in my answer.

“Cam.” Ada nodded. “If you don’t start talking about you and Dusty soon, everything about the two of you that you keep just below the surface is going to bubble over.”

Damn. Ada was perceptive, and she had me pegged, but I tried to play it off. “Oh yeah? What exactly do you think I’m keeping below the surface?” I asked.

“You tell me,” she said. “I’ll make it easier by starting with what I already know.” I nodded for her to keep going and then looked around for Riley. She was occupied with a bunch of throw pillows.

“You and Dusty dated in high school,” Ada said. “No one can give me a straight answer on when or how or where it ended, which is odd, considering everyone knows everything about everyone in this town.”

I looked down at my feet. Ada was already treading dangerously toward the exact thing I didn’t want to talk about.

“And I’ve been watching the two of you—”

“Creepy,” I butted in.

“Concerned,” Ada argued. “There always seems to be this weird tension on the surface whenever you two are together.But then, it’s easy to see the familiarity. Like at Christmas. The two of you looked like you’d rather be sitting anywhere else than next to each other, but then two seconds later, you’re gazing into each other’s eyes and smiling like there’s nowhere else you’d rather be.”

“There was no gazing,” I said with an eye roll.

“There was gazing. And longing—especially from him.”

I scoffed. “Since when did you become such a hopeless romantic?”

“Since Wes, duh.” Ada shrugged.

“I don’t know, Ada,” I said quietly. “We were each other’s first everything. That familiarity is always going to be there.” After last night, I believed it even more now.

“So was last night just two old flames, stuck with only one bed, giving in to that familiar feeling, or was it something more?”

“Have you been reading Teddy’s romance novels, too, now?”

Ada just looked at me, waiting.

I sighed. There wasn’t any reason for me to lie. It was time to let this out. “More.”

“That’s what I thought,” she said. She looked smug. “So why don’t you seem happier? You had a great night and great sex with a great guy, who seems very all in on you, at least from the outside, but it feels like…you’re fighting it so hard.”

She was right, of course. And I was so tired of fighting. I took a deep breath. “I’m scared,” I said.

“Of Dusty?”

I shook my head. “Of what happens if it doesn’t work out again.”Because it’s my fault it didn’t work out the first time.

“Cam…” Ada said quietly. “Please…I know you haven’twanted to talk about it. But…what exactly happened between you guys?”

I hesitated for a second, trying to find the words. “We had sort of a…traumatic ending, I guess.”

Ada nodded. She understood those. “I mean, from what I know about Dusty, he seemed to bounce around a lot. Did he just disappear one day?”

“No,” I said quietly and swallowed hard. “I did.”