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25

Aware

Gwen

W hen Gwen entered Master Basting ten minutes before her shift started, she was surprised when nobody said anything.

Dyed hair wasn’t out of the ordinary.

There were at least three hair salons within ten minutes of the building.

But pink hair wasn’t something people usually ignored.

For a moment, Gwen wondered if her hair had changed back by some miracle.

A quick glance as she walked the long aisle toward the back of the building proved otherwise.

Maybe people really don’t recognize me?

It would make sense, as the work polos weren’t branded, and Gwen never showed so much skin before.

Though bare arms and legs were hardly scandalous, Gwen had never dressed down so much for work.

A fact she was thankful for when she exited Dr. Crawford’s as the heat had significantly picked up.

It had been nice to walk the short distance to work and not break into a sticky sweat.

Still, this is weird, Gwen thought as she passed aisles of poorly put together home decor and art prints most likely stolen from the internet.

Going unnoticed was a short-lived experience as Gwen registered a voice behind her.

“… sorry, you can’t go back there. It’s for—”

Gwen turned on her heel and watched as Tom’s eyes widened.

He looked genuinely surprised to see her, mouth opened slightly as he gawked at her.

Gwen ignored the once over, but when it happened again, she felt compelled to break the awkward silence.

“Hey … what’s up?”

“I … um, wow,” he finished awkwardly.

His eyes were definitely on her chest.

Seriously Tom?

They’re just boobs, Gwen thought.

Almost as if he had heard her, Tom ran his hand across the back of his neck.

He looked antsy and felt …

odd. Gwen could feel the stirring of an emotion, but one that didn’t feel like the standard lust she had started easily recognizing from men—and some women—that Gwen had passed by on her way to work.

She wasn’t sure what the science—for lack of a better word—was when it came to sensing the emotions of humans.

Simple emotions appeared to be easier for her to decipher in comparison to more complex ones.

Happiness, sadness, anger, fear—those had been easy to figure out.

They were the standard default emotions for all humans.

Gwen supposed it was a bit like Pokémon starters, but without the cute animal companion.

Whatever Tom was feeling was more complicated than the few emotions Gwen had grown comfortable identifying.

It was a lot like trying to identify all the spices in a curry, except Gwen couldn’t rely on her taste buds to figure out the flavors.

What is this? Gwen wondered.

Whatever it was her coworker was feeling, it had the faint scent of peanut butter, brown sugar, and vanilla to it.

Not an overall bad flavor profile.

Gwen wondered if she could figure out how to eat the feeling before Tom let it go.

That had been the bigger question Gwen was grappling with.

Not every emotion smelled good, but even things that smelled good in theory would sometimes make her sick.

If she could just figure out how to take a little taste maybe—

“—and your pink hair is just great. You got this whole, like, manic pixie dream girl thing going on. Very Romona Flowers , y’know?”

Shit , Tom had been talking!

“Oh, thanks.” Gwen adjusted her purse, folding her arms beneath her chest. “I just felt like I wanted to do something different, y’know?”

“Oh, yeah, yeah, definitely that. For sure.”

Okay…

Gwen pressed her tongue against her canine as she tried to further unravel what the hell this was.

She didn’t know her coworkers super well, but Tom wasn’t socially awkward around anyone.

Even her. And that was saying something, considering Gwen had been navigating all social interactions with a mask and script running through her head.

Now that she had mostly tossed those aside, Gwen found herself less anxious about rehearsing what to say.

I killed a guy and got fingered by a demon last night.

Nothing I say right now could be more fucked up than that .

“You okay, Tom? ‘Cause if that’s all, I kinda gotta clock in…” Gwen gestured toward the swinging doors.

“I’d talk more, but Mary will have my ass if I’m late.”

“Oh, yeah, sure,” he nodded as he started shuffling backward clumsily.

“You should—”

Gwen watched him run into one of the displays of marked down Fourth of July decorations.

The blunt edge of a flag pole had caught on his work polo and she winced at the small tearing sound.

Tom shuffled awkwardly, maneuvering his shirt and the pole until he was free.

“You okay?” Gwen asked, eyeing the small hole on the side of his work shirt.

“Yeah, I’m—I’m good, I … I’ll see you on the floor!”

Gwen watched him hurry off at a pace that wasn’t quite running away.

The emotions went with him, leaving Gwen’s stomach to pinch ever so slightly.

She had felt the beginning of that peanut butter flavor begin to turn sticky, like caramel.

Ambrosius really hadn’t been kidding when he said she’d always been hungry.

Gwen supposed it wasn’t too different from just eating as a human.

Except I have NO idea how to eat from a human without killing them, Gwen groaned internally.

With a sigh, Gwen put her things away, tossed her work apron on, and clocked into her shift.

She was on the floor for thirty-minutes before Catie appeared at the register next to her.

The new hire looked a little nervous, large eyes and an uneasy smile.

“Mary wants to talk to you,” Catie shrugged.

“She asked me to cover registers.”

Oh, wonderful.

The familiar anxiety of having to talk with an authority figure crawled up her neck.

Mary didn’t scare Gwen, she honestly didn’t think it was possible for her to do so.

But Gwen had always struggled with feeling like she was in trouble around any authority figure.

She supposed it was one of the many reasons why she had instantly disliked Ambrosius.

The demon had displayed his power even before Gwen knew he was a monster.

“Okay,” Gwen said with an exhale as she logged out of the point of sales system.

“I’ll be right back.”

Catie nodded, before blurting, “Oh, I like your hair by the way.”

Pleasure and joy—it appeared Catie was being genuine, Gwen realized.

She hadn’t taken into account the ability to sense emotions as a way to gain insight on her coworkers’ moods, but Gwen wasn’t going to knock it.

In fact, it could be something she could use to her advantage…

“Thanks,” Gwen smiled.

“I like it, too.”

The trip to Mary’s office was shorter than Gwen would have liked.

Before she knew it, Gwen was standing in front of the door.

She felt warm, palms slightly damp as Gwen leaned her head toward the door to listen.

It was quiet, with only the sounds of the light fixtures buzzing.

Gwen pulled back, shaking her head.

She was being ridiculous; it was just Mary.

Worst case, Gwen could tap into her feelings—somehow—and pivot, right?

Gwen knocked.

Here goes …

something.

“Come in!”

Gwen opened the door, spying Mary seated behind an outdated desk stacked with paperwork.

She was all smiles—which wasn’t unusual for Mary, but Gwen had learned quickly that a smile was just a more socially acceptable mask in comparison to a frown.

“Gwendolyn, hello! Take a seat!” Mary gestured to the single chair across from her desk.

The chair was old, the vinyl having split into a jagged looking streak of lightning.

A lot of the furniture in the back of house was of similar quality, but Gwen had just passed it off as budget cuts.

Still, Gwen proceeded with caution as she carefully sat.

“Catie said you wanted to see me,” Gwen volunteered.

“Yes!” Mary perked up as she pushed a small stack of beige folders to the side.

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you for a while now. Y’know, holidays always makes the store so busy, I hardly get a chance to catch up with everyone.”

Gwen nodded.

It wasn’t unlike Mary to be the kind of boss who insisted everyone was family.

Gwen had heard it often enough at Christmas parties.

Mary was always the first to wish an employee a happy birthday.

The woman even brought in birthday cupcakes from home, where she lived with her two cats, Knit and Purl.

She was nice overall, if not severely out of touch when it came to liberal opinions.

“But now that the Fourth is over, I thought I’d take a ten with everyone and kind of get a feel,” Mary explained.

“Things have been a little … well, interesting this quarter, to say the least.”

Gwen’s nose scrunched up.

Mary was doing that thing that Gwen pretended to understand, but really didn’t.

She didn’t know why Mary—or anyone, for that matter—beat around the bush like this.

Was it really that hard for people to say what they meant?

An image of Ambrosius’ smirking face flashed across her vision.

A small thorn of irritation prickled Gwen’s nerves, souring her mood.

“Is this about my hair?” Gwen asked.

“Because I’ve got the employee handbook in my purse, and I read it, like, five times.”

Mary looked surprised, and once again, Gwen felt like she was speaking a different language.

What on earth was Mary thinking ?

No, not thinking, Gwen realized.

What’s she feeling? And why can’t I find it ?

“Oh, no! Not at all,” Mary laughed.

“It’s too young of a look for me, but you know I adore pink, Gwen. You aren’t in trouble for that—though it would be a completely different story if you’d come to work with neon green hair!”

Gwen hated not knowing how her weird power worked.

Naturally, it couldn’t be as easy as blinking her eyes or snapping her fingers.

Gwen had noticed the lack of emotions from several people now.

She couldn’t tell if it was simply the nature of her abilities or the complexity of the emotion.

Just like Dr. Monday, Gwen was having difficulty feeling any emotion from Mary.

Are people just emotionally constipated?

What the fuck is up with that?

Whatever it was, it made Mary looked haggard, and her sunny smile was suddenly slipping.

Gwen used to be a bleeding heart when she was a teenager.

She would have reached out and hugged Mary in an instant, but now Gwen only wanted to know what the hell was going on.

“You … okay, Mary?” Gwen asked.

Mary paused, before standing.

She raised a finger to Gwen as she walked toward the door and gently closed it.

Gwen eyed her boss as she sat back down in her chair.

She had an odd look in her eyes, one Gwen wasn’t sure she had seen before.

“Gwendolyn, I’m going to be completely transparent with you. Outside of Jake and Mike, you’ve been here the longest. You’re practically family—”

More estranged family, wonderful.

“—so I feel comfortable telling you this first.” Mary sighed as she stared into Gwen’s eyes.

“You see, Gwen … the store’s in trouble.”

Gwen dropped her hand onto the edge of the desk in surprise.

“What? ”

“The store’s been in trouble for a while now,” Mary admitted.

“I’m sure you noticed. The sudden drop of new hires from last year, the company updates talking about rolling back certain products.”

Gwen hadn’t noticed—at least not before, but now that Mary mentioned it, suddenly it made sense.

Nobody in their right mind would ever discontinue carrying a Miss Moxie Doll if they knew anything about dolls.

They sold like hotcakes every Christmas, especially the limited-edition holiday ones.

“And it’s not just the lack of new products, but the stolen merchandise,” Mary wrung her hands together.

“The high percentage of loss this year alone has got upper management in a spin!”

Stolen merchandise?

Gwen couldn’t remember the last time they had banned someone from the store for shoplifting.

Had someone been stealing the whole time without any of the employees noticing?

While Gwen hadn’t cared before, she was suddenly irritated.

She had lived the last decade in a state of hypervigilance, and suddenly she had just lost her touch?

The idea that Gwen had just let some yahoo waltz by with stolen merchandise annoyed the fuck out of her.

Mary wiped her eyes, bringing Gwen back to the moment.

She had no idea when her manager had started crying, but it was getting progressively worse as the older woman went on.

“They’re saying that they might have to shut down several Master Basting locations in the Snohomish county, and our store could be up for closure!” Mary wailed.

“We need to get our numbers back up before the end of the year or else the store is done for!”

Under any other circumstance, this would have been Gwen’s dream.

For all those slogging, mundane afternoons stretching on for hours while her mind was preoccupied with her dolls.

All the mindless chit chat with coworkers and customers.

All the sweat and anxiety and utter bullshit Gwen had endured over the past ten years.

Gwen had always imagined she’d walk out of the building with her finger in the air.

She supposed most people who hated their job had that fantasy, but it was somehow less satisfying knowing her coworkers wouldn’t just go on without her.

Plus, I kind of need this job for the insurance and the fabric discount.

“And if all of that wasn’t enough, Zander’s been a no call, no show!” Mary cried.

“He’s always been a little difficult, but to be gone for almost a week?”

Zander worked in framing—specifically custom framing.

He was as friendly as anybody could be in a hobby store, and decent at his job.

Originally, he had started off as a cashier, but had transferred to the new department a year ago.

He’d been with the company for four years now, and disappearing didn’t sound much like him.

“The only good thing about it is now I don’t have to lay anyone off,” Mary continued to cry.

Before Gwen could argue, Mary grasped her hand, and it was like a punch to the face.

A wave of emotions were open to Gwen.

Sadness was the main course, like a steak with mashed potatoes.

Fear was a side of garlic bread, the highlight of the meal.

And the tiny pit of anger was an overpriced chocolate dessert that was smudged across the plate.

“Oh, Gwendolyn!” Mary cried.

“I don’t know what we’re going to do!”

Gwen burped. “Sorry.”