Page 19

CHAPTER NINETEEN

R yker’s expression was unreadable. He stared at the woman like her face might rearrange itself into something that made sense.

My knees buckled. This had to be a sick joke, but there was no smell of a lie.

“What did she say?” Cassi’s head lifted and she stared at us. “I couldn’t make it out.”

“Royal wolf,” Ryker rasped, and then he grimaced.

The words settled into the air like a death sentence, and no one spoke a word.

Kendric’s face paled. “She has to be delirious. That can’t be right.”

“She’s out of it.” Xander crossed his arms around his stomach. “Rambling nonsense. There are no more wolf shifter royals.”

“Either that, or she’s making a fucking sick joke.” Gage cracked his knuckles. “Throwing our failure in our face when she’s on the brink of death. The vampires wiped them out, and we were called away to look like the guilty culprits.”

“And then we felt our pack links vanish and came rushing back to find the dead bodies.” Ryker grimaced. “So many of our people and the royals shredded to death, to the point they were unrecognizable.”

My stomach dropped. “Did you have a final tally of the dead?” They hadn’t mentioned the physical state of their pack before.

All four men flinched.

“We weren’t in the mindset to count, and with how shredded some bodies were, it was hard to tell what belonged where.” The iridescent sheen faintly came back to Ryker’s eyes.

Our bond muted ever so slightly, like something had blanketed the connection. The hot spot in my chest muted to almost the same level as the other pack members in our pack. Are you really trying to use her magic?

The unconscious witch whimpered in pain like someone was torturing her.

Ryker’s attention flashed to the witch, and he closed his eyes and shook his head. Immediately his irises turned to normal, and our bond returned to its usual temperature, which somehow heated up my blood even more and not in a sexual-tension kind of way.

He’d tried to cloak his soul again after everything. And here I’d thought he wanted to fight for all of us and not cut himself off from being an alpha who wasn’t in tune with his pack members' needs.

“Something’s wrong.” Cassi dropped to her knees and leaned over the older witch. “The vampires may have a way to drain her more of her power.”

I glared at Ryker. It wasn’t the vampires who were causing that problem.

The witch’s breathing returned to a steady rhythm, and Cassi relaxed marginally.

“At least they’ve stopped for now.” Cassi tugged at the ends of her hair. “Why are the vampires doing any of this?”

That was the huge question. I was dying to know the answer. Power was the primary motivation, but the way they were slaughtering shifters seemed personal.

“Think about it though.” Briar twirled her pointer finger. “Our packs haven’t lost any magic… we haven’t weakened a bit, and everyone has been freaking out, expecting to feel the impact immediately. If the royals are alive—”

“No,” Ryker shouted. “We need to stop having this conversation. They’re dead. Pretending like they might not be won’t change anything.” His shame and pain slammed into me, showing me just how broken he really was.

The pain combined with my own and had me bending over from the sudden intensity. Ryker always seemed so confident and put together, and I’d felt his heartbreak, but nothing had prepared me for the raw feeling that exploded from him.

No wonder he’d wanted his soul cloaked. The guilt was heavier than anyone could carry.

He cleared his throat and reeled some of the emotion back in. “Besides, what would be the point of keeping them alive?”

Something screamed at me, making me think even more that this was personal to the vampire queen. But why?

I took in Xander’s, Kendric’s, and Gage’s expressions, twisted into regret and pain. They had to be feeling similarly to Ryker. They all believed they’d failed the royals and their pack.

“We need rest.” I straightened. Trying to figure something out when we were all tired, sad, and braindead wasn’t going to do any good. “We’re all full, and the witch is unconscious again. Let’s get some sleep and figure out the next step when our brains aren’t fried.”

No one argued.

Instead, Kendric grabbed one of the throw pillows off the loveseat and sank down to the floor, exhaling like he’d been holding in his breath for hours. Gage handed him a blanket without a word.

Briar walked toward her room without hesitation. She paused in the doorway and looked back at me. “Wake me if something changes.”

“I will,” I promised.

Cassi hadn't moved from the chair by the witch. She looked too hollow, too quiet.

“Cassi, if you’re tired—” I started.

But she shook her head. “I’m fine. I want to keep watch. If she wakes, I want her to know a fellow sister is here.”

Ryker tentatively reached for my hand, almost like he was unsure if I’d take it. My fingers laced through his as I led him toward our room. But even as the door shut behind us and the soft light filtered in from the window, his emotions didn’t settle. If anything, they twisted tighter. Coiled like a wire wound too far.

I didn’t say anything, thinking he needed a minute. He needed to process his feelings instead of keeping them locked away. Ignoring emotions just made them intensify until they burst out, and I suspected Ryker might have hit that point.

I stepped into the bathroom and turned on the shower. The water thundered to life, and steam quickly filled the room. I stripped down and stepped beneath the stream, letting the water wash away the day. But I could still feel him on the other side of the door.

Tense.

Pacing.

I dried my hair and then wrapped the towel around me. When I stepped back into the bedroom, I found my mate sitting on the edge of the bed with his hands clenched on his knees. The moment his eyes lifted to meet mine, he linked, How mad are you at me?

I paused mid-step and clutched the towel a little tighter.

You think I’m mad? I replayed everything I’d done, trying to see what made him think I was angry. Maybe that was why he hadn’t joined me in the shower.

The disappointment running through you is like a fucking freight train.

Needing him to not only feel my emotions but to hear my tone, I switched to speaking out loud. “I’m not mad. I’m… worried.”

He flinched, like that word hit harder than anger. “Because I tried to cloak myself again?”

“That, and because you keep carrying all of this alone.” I walked over to him and continued, “You’re trying to protect us by cutting yourself off. That doesn’t make you stronger, Ryker. It just makes you more likely to break. And I hate that you felt like you had to try to cloak your soul again instead of relying on me to help you.”

He looked down, jaw flexing. “You shouldn’t have to carry that burden.”

“You don’t think that I get it?” I patted my chest. “You lost people. I lost people. You blame yourself. I do too, because I ran while my pack got slaughtered. But we’re here together, and I want to help you handle your pain. You don’t have to hide it from me. I want us to be together in everything.”

The silence stretched between us. Then he leaned forward and gripped the edge of the towel at my hip, just enough to anchor himself.

“You felt it, didn’t you? When I slipped.” He hung his head.

“Yeah.” I dropped to my knees in front of him. “Our bond was affected.”

He rested his forehead against mine and linked, I didn’t mean to. I just… I wanted to make it stop. Just for a second. The guilt, the memories. Every time I sleep, I see them. What was left of them.

My throat thickened, and I took his hand. “You’re not alone in this. We’ll carry the pain together.”

His breath hitched. “I don’t deserve you.”

“Too bad,” I whispered. “You’ve got me anyway, and now you’re stuck.”

He huffed a small laugh. The kind that didn’t quite make it to a smile, but our bond flooded with warmth toward me all the same. He lifted his head, and for the first time in hours, something unguarded flickered in his eyes.

“If this is what being stuck feels like,” he murmured, brushing his nose against mine, “then I’m the luckiest bastard in the universe.”

My lips parted on a shaky breath as love, deep and all-consuming, wafted from him like smoke wrapping around me. It was heady. Raw. Real.

I kissed him with as much passion as possible. My fingers tangled in his hair while my heart drummed against his chest. His arms wrapped around me like I was the only thing keeping him grounded.

But just as the hunger sparked between us, he pulled away.

The loss hit like a slap. My heart stuttered. “What—”

“I need a shower.” He panted, forehead pressed to mine. “Give me a minute. I’ll be right back.”

I blinked, lips still tingling from the kiss. “Oh.”

His thumb traced the edge of my jaw before he pressed a kiss there. “Don’t move. I just want to rinse the blood and dirt off before I touch you the way I really want to.”

Heat rushed to my cheeks. “Okay.”

He made his way to the bathroom, and the water turned on a second later. I grabbed one of Ryker’s shirts from the nearby dresser and then had to search to find some pants that would fit me.

Before I could even put the clothes on, the bathroom door opened.

And Ryker stood there.

Naked.

Steam curled behind him, and his golden skin glistened with moisture. His dark hair stuck to his forehead, water trailing down the muscles of his chest and stomach. His gaze raked over me like I was the only thing in the universe that mattered.

My breath caught. Heat pooled low in my belly.

He stalked across the room and reached me in two long strides. He snatched the clothes from my hand and tossed them on the wooden floor. Then his lips crashed against mine, stealing every thought from my head. His kiss wasn’t gentle. It was possessive and desperate.

I melted into him as he lifted me easily and laid me on the bed.

The towel slipped away as Ryker braced himself above me, his eyes darkening with desire. Water droplets fell from his hair onto my skin, creating trails of heat wherever they landed. I reached up to trace the scar through his eyebrow, my touch reverent.

"Dammit, lil rebel. I need you," he rasped. "All of you."

I answered by pulling him down to me, our lips meeting in a desperate clash that spoke of all we couldn't say. His hands explored my body, and his fingers found me slick and ready. A groan rumbled from deep in his chest.

Spreading my legs further apart, I made it so his fingers could easily slide between my thighs. One finger dipped inside me while his thumb found that perfect spot that made my back arch off the bed. I gasped against his mouth, my fingers digging into his shoulders.

"Ryker," I breathed, unable to form more coherent thoughts as he added a second finger and curled them in a way that made my vision blur. The pleasure built quickly, a knot forming tight in my core as he worked me with deliberate precision.

Through our bond, I could feel his own need spiraling higher. Without breaking our kiss, I reached between us and wrapped my fingers around his length. A shudder ran through his powerful body at my touch, and he nipped at my lips.

His hips jerked forward instinctively, thrusting into my palm as his fingers maintained their rhythm inside me. He pushed deep as my hand slid along his dick. Each stroke was met with a deeper thrust of his fingers, our bodies falling apart together.

"Fuck," he growled against my neck, his breath hot on my skin. "Your touch... I can't... You need to stop."

I tightened my grip slightly, twisting my wrist on the upstroke just the way I knew he liked it. His fingers curled inside me in response, sending an orgasm pulsing through me.

My body shook as he caught my wrist with his free hand, forcing me to stop stroking him. I wanted to continue, but the ecstasy crashed over me so hard that I had to concentrate just to breathe.

Before I even stopped, he removed his fingers and slid into position at my entrance. “Mine,” he growled.

Yours, I linked, unable to speak, and arched up against him.

He entered me in one powerful thrust that had us both gasping. The orgasm didn’t end but instead began building all over again.

I whimpered as he filled me completely. Our bond hummed between us, amplifying every sensation until I couldn't tell where my pleasure ended and his began.

"Fate, you feel perfect," he panted against my neck, his rhythm building steadily. "Every time with you... it's like coming home."

I wrapped my legs around his waist, changing the angle, and he gasped. His eyes locked with mine, the gold flecks in them seeming to glow in the dim light. There was vulnerability there now, a rawness he'd stopped trying to hide.

The headboard knocked against the wall as Ryker's thrusts grew more urgent. My body tightened around him as pressure continued to build even more in my belly.

"Let go for me again," he urged, sliding one hand between us to where we were joined. His thumb circled the sensitive bundle of nerves there, and I shattered. Wave after wave of pleasure crashed over me, and my body clenched around him.

The feeling of my intense release must have triggered his own. With a guttural moan, Ryker buried his face in my neck, his hips stuttering against mine as he released. I felt his pleasure echo through our bond, obliterating me with pleasure.

When we finally came down, our bodies trembled.

For a long while after, we lay tangled together, our breathing gradually slowing. Ryker's weight pressed me into the mattress, but I welcomed it, needing the grounding presence of his body on mine. His fingers traced lazy patterns on my skin, and before I could stop myself, I fell asleep.

* * *

I jolted awake. A scream came from Briar’s bedroom.

I threw off the covers as Briar linked, There’s someone in here. Help!

Is it a vampire? Ryker asked as he followed me. We were at the door and heard footsteps from Gage, Xander, and Kendric running in our direction.

Knowing I had to get there before something awful happened, I ran down the hall to her door and threw it open.

And then I froze.

Motherfucker.