Page 12

12: Tori

It's been two long and gruesome weeks of training with Gabe in the mornings, afternoon lessons on how things run with Juan or Cass, and lunches with my dad on the daily. My evenings are spent trying to keep Blaze, Ryder, Thorne, and I all together, snuggled tight or fucking hard.

Either way, as long as they're with me, I'm happy.

“I think you get off on seeing me struggle to breathe,” I complain as I stretch on the cold, blue mat beneath me, dying from my screaming muscles.

Gabe has been sparring with me to continue my self-defense lessons for a good hour now. My body aches, but the sting of my lungs with each breath I take is what’s really doing me in.

Please, shoot me now.

“I don't get off, ” he air quotes with a shake of his head. “I am, however, happy to see you learn how to protect yourself.”

I watch as he bends down, reaching for a bottle of water, hardly out of breath, and it makes me want to kick him. His Adam's apple bobs as he takes a few drinks before eyeing me with an arched brow.

“You forgot your water again, didn't you?” He sighs as he passes his bottle to me, and I give him a sheepish grin.

“About three weeks in and you already know me so well.” I take the bottle and waterfall the precious liquid with reverence. “Tell me I'm at least improving? Star pupil material?” I quip as I hand him his bottle back .

He takes it, capping it before he lets a very small smile slip.

He's harder to crack than Fort Knox.

“You're my only student, Reyes,” he says, extending his hand for me to take.

“All I'm hearing from that is that I'm your best student. Good to know.” I grin playfully as I accept his help up, knowing my legs are weak little suckers that couldn't lift a feather at the moment.

“Come on. You need to shower before your lunch with your dad.” He doesn't bother arguing with me, knowing it's pointless anyway. He just shoos me out of the at-home gym and cleans up as I head upstairs.

Sadly, Blaze, Ryder, and Thorne are all out of the house with stupid tasks. It doesn't matter that Thorne had to leave in the middle of the night and didn't return till almost dawn. Come nine o'clock, he had to go again.

The longer we're here, the busier everyone seems to be. I don't like how little time we have with one another. At first, we had the entire evening together, but as of late, we hardly get two hours.

Thankfully we're all night owls and stay up later than we should, talking, touching…fucking.

God, I love fucking.

When I reach my room, I throw open the closet doors and grab a black shirt and dark skinny jeans with purposeful holes. I'm not a sundress kind of girl, despite how desperately my father would like me to be.

Steam fills the bathroom as I shower until every surface has a nice sheen of humidity. I feel more like myself when I finally emerge, dressed and ready. My hair is plopped in a wet bun on top of my head, not having bothered to even try to style it right.

I came here to get to know my father better, and what I’m learning is that I might not like him at all. When we’re together, I can clearly imagine what life with him would have been like growing up. There’s this other version of myself, the one that grew up in his world, that acts snobby and arrogant, who just does what she’s told.

That’s never going to be me.

I know Diablo would love it if I would just listen and do as he says without question. But, you know, I have a brain of my own, and it works more than fine when I’m not getting myself into trouble. Which actually hasn’t been as often here lately, because you know what? I’m growing, dammit.

And anyone who says otherwise can suck my left tit.

I huff at my own thoughts as I descend the stairs, seeing Gabe already there, waiting on me. He looks up, assessing my outfit choices and lets out the longest sigh.

He knows what I’m doing.

“You’re really trying to make everyone’s life hell, aren’t you?” He exhales heavily as he shakes his head but knows telling me to change will only waste his breath.

“Why, whatever do you mean?” I feign innocence, batting my lashes and clutching my figurative pearls.

He doesn’t respond, just leads the way to the car as usual, opening my door for me and gesturing for me to get in. I climb up, buckling up as he rounds the hood of the car and takes his place behind the wheel.

No other words are exchanged between us as he drives us to Diablo’s estate. Only the hum of Sleep Token's Caramel keeps the ride from complete silence. The estate is still as intimidating as it was the first time, and no easier to navigate since I’m only ever in three areas—the garden, the dining room, and Diablo’s office.

I’m not allowed to explore the rest of the place, and Diablo makes sure of that. Suffice it to say it’s oddly suspicious and definitely not my favorite part of being here. But I know that after this lunch, I get to see Cass. She’s got Tori duty this afternoon, and she’s honestly the only person I vibe with in this dreary place .

Maybe because she’s the only other woman here—like literally. We’re the only estrogen in this bitch.

There’s so much testosterone here I could drown in it.

Gabe leads the way, knowing I hate being the first one to enter this place. Everyone’s eyes immediately fall on me every time, but when Gabe enters first, I get to hide behind him for a second longer. A second in which people lose interest and look away. It lowers the number of stares I get by a decent amount.

Look at me, being clever.

The estate seems emptier than usual as we head to the dining room. It’s obvious something is going on, but of course, I’m clueless about it.

“Oh? Is there a company retreat? Some team building exercises going on?” I ask Gabe, as if he’d actually tell me something useful.

To my surprise, he does.

“Not exactly. We’re making a show of force, so almost everyone is running around today.”

I keep that information stowed away because it seems important. Something is going on, otherwise, why the big show?

Gabe opens the door for me again, gesturing for me to enter without him as I normally do. These lunches are just dear ol’ dad and I, bodyguards unwanted. I know that Gabe won’t venture far, though. He always just waits by the door for me like a good little doggy.

“Mija, I see you didn’t get the dress I sent over,” he remarks, his eyes twitching for a moment, like they want to narrow but he’s fighting the instinct.

“Oh no, I got it.” I take my seat before him, making sure it drags against the tile as I scoot it in.

He doesn’t hesitate as he takes his place across from me, his frown firmly in place. “I see.”

“Yeah. As I’ve said before, sundresses just aren’t my thing.” I pick my fork up, toying with the salad already set out for me. Meanwhile, his plate is stacked with a nice ribeye and some asparagus.

Um, excuse me, but I’d love a fucking steak.

Part of me just wants to reach across and switch our plates, but I’ve learned where the line is, and although I push at it at times, I know not to cross it. Grabbing his plate definitely crosses it.

With a forkful of spinach, I start our dull conversations. “So, what’s new?”

“I sincerely hope that isn’t how you plan on speaking to the other jefes if you’re ever to take over.” He quirks his brow, cutting into his steak more aggressively than he should, scraping the plate with his knife. The sound makes my skin crawl, raising the hairs on my arms.

“Terribly sorry. I thought I was talking to my father and not a jefe .” I roll my eyes, already over this lunch and we’re less than two minutes in.

Where are my guys to save me when I need them?

Surprisingly enough, Diablo indulges me and answers my earlier question. “There’s another gang trying to move into our territory. I’m making sure they realize what a terrible idea it is.” He takes a bite, chews, and swallows before he continues. All the while, I’m silent as a mouse, worried I’ll spook him from speaking again. “It’s easier to stomp out an ember than it is to stop a flame.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.” I nod, realizing he’s not going to say anything else on the matter, but it’s more than I’ve gotten out of him before. “I have another question for you.”

You’re really testing your luck today.

“Go on.” He waits on me, eyes fully locked with my own.

“What made you want to be in this kind of life? It honestly just seems really stressful all the time. Like all the time.”

Watching him, and all of this, the past few weeks has made me realize just how untrusting of everyone he is. Even the people he claims to be his closest allies. I see the way he eyes Gabe or even Juan, how he’s just waiting for them to turn on him.

I’m not sure I could live like that—unable to trust anyone around me.

I think my asshole would be so permanently puckered, I’d die from not being able to shit.

“It wasn’t exactly my first choice, but when I was growing up, my options were slim. It was either work the fields and make an honest living that I would hardly be able to survive off of, or join a gang.” He shrugs, like that isn’t stating some very bleak and still too real of a scenario. “The risk is high, granted, but I knew if I could work my way up, it would pay off. And it did.”

I chew on that for a moment.

Literally…since I’m still eating my salad.

“And if those weren’t your only options?” He arches his brow at me like he doesn’t understand what I’m asking, so I try again. “Like, if you could have chosen something else, what would you have wanted to be?”

He stays silent for a while—so long, in fact, I finish eating. I’m pushing my chair in, ready to leave, when he very quietly answers me.

“I would have liked to be an engineer.”

His words linger as I head out, weighing on me for some unknown reason. I shouldn’t care as much as I do—not after he’s been such a controlling ass—but a big part of me feels sort of sorry for him.

Gabe is waiting for me as I expected, pushing off the wall and pocketing his phone.

“Ready?” he asks, a light in his eyes like he’d been so bored while I was gone.

I nod, my voice trapped in my throat at the weight of my sudden caring. My mind can’t help but imagine what Diablo would be like had he had the chance to become an engineer. How life would have been for us both.

A nice, suburban home with white walls and a large yard. We’d have nosy neighbors who we would be polite to out of necessity, just to keep the peace. I would have gone to school and gotten straight A’s, applied to colleges and gotten scholarships, because I would have never gone to that private school, would have never gotten bullied. I would be graduating as a doctor this year, smiling as my mom and dad yelled from the stands, so full of pride.

But then, I wouldn’t have spent that year with Thorne in the group home. I would have never met Blaze or Ryder, never gotten to know this side of them. They may have fucked up my life, but they’re also the only ones who would burn the world for me without question. Who can say that they have three people willing to maim, torture, or kill someone for them?

Me, that’s who.

So, no. I didn’t get to have the normal life that could have been. I didn’t get to have the mafia princess life. I had the foster-home, never-loved, always-bullied life, and it made me stronger, made me capable.

I lift my head, feeling a surge of pride rush through my body as we round the corner, heading for the side doors that lead to the garden. I guess that’s where Cass is today.

“Cass told me to bring you to the garden because she has something she wanted you to see,” Gabe explains as he leads me outside into the bright sun. “Honestly, I think she just wants to talk to you where others can’t hear.”

I can tell that Gabe doesn’t fully trust Cass, and I’m not sure why, but it kind of offends me. She’s worked hard to get where she is, being the only female lieutenant in this joint. I can’t imagine her breaking that trust after all that hard work .

“I don’t mind spilling some tea in the garden,” I laugh at my joke, seeing Gabe just roll his eyes at my antics.

I know you secretly love it, Gabe.

Life is dull without me, huh?

“Tori!” Cass greets me enthusiastically, stretching her arms out for a hug.

She’s really affectionate, this one, but she tells me that’s just how she grew up. Hugs. Kisses. Rubs.

Cass pulls me into a bear hug, and I can’t help but smile. She smells like jasmine and something a little spicier, like cinnamon. It’s a comforting mix that immediately makes me feel at home, or at least as close as I can get to home here.

She steps back, giving me a quick once-over before a soft grin creeps across her face. “How was lunch with the big guy?” She tilts her head, the question teasing but laced with genuine curiosity.

I roll my eyes, already over the entire ordeal. “We had the most riveting conversation. Mostly about what a disappointment I am because I refuse to wear the sundresses he keeps sending me.” I cross my arms, shrugging it off like it’s nothing, but I know Cass can see right through the casual exterior.

She laughs, but there’s a knowing edge to it. “Yeah, Diablo’s pretty set in his ways. But you can’t blame him for wanting you to fit the picture he’s got in his head. He’s got expectations of you, Tori. And that’s the real challenge: deciding whether you’ll meet them on your own terms or his.”

I let out a frustrated sigh. “I get it, but I don’t need his approval. Hell, I’ve been doing fine without it. But I’m sick of playing by his rules. His rules don’t feel right to me. I’m not some...princess he can dress up and show off.”

Cass’s smile shifts, a little more serious now. “You don’t have to be a princess to get shit done, Tori. But you can’t just rebel for the sake of it. You’ve got power in this world, but you have to know how to wield it, not just throw it around like a tantrum. Trust me, there’s more than one way to make your mark here, but you’ve got to play the game a little bit before you can break the rules.”

I huff, crossing my arms tighter. “That’s the thing, though. I’m sick of playing games. I’m not even sure I’m learning what I’m supposed to. I don’t want to be a puppet on anyone’s strings. Least of all Diablo’s.”

Cass steps forward, her hands resting on her hips as she studies me. “You’re not a puppet, but you sure as hell need to learn how to make the strings work for you. You’re tougher than you think, but you need to stop letting your emotions decide everything for you. If you want to play in this world, you need to stop letting it control you. Take a breath. Take control.”

I exhale sharply, staring down at my shoes for a second before I look back up at her. “And what about the rest of it? The whole...gang thing. What do I do there? How do I make a whole group of men listen to me when my own father won't?”

Cass softens a little more, crossing the short distance between us and resting her hand on my shoulder. “You’ve got to prove that you’re more than just Diablo’s daughter. You’ve got to show them you’re capable of running things, of making moves on your own, not just in his shadow. You don’t need anyone’s approval, Tori. Just trust yourself.”

I shake my head, feeling the weight of the pressure she’s laid on me. “It’s a lot, Cass. More than I thought I’d have to deal with.”

“Yeah, it is,” she agrees with a serious nod. “But you can do it. You’ve got this fire inside you. Just...don’t let it burn you out before you’ve had the chance to use it.”

I stare at her for a moment, the words sinking in. Cass has a way of cutting through all the bullshit and hitting me with the truth. I’m starting to get it. I’ve been so focused on the noise around me that I haven’t stopped to think about what I need to do to make sure I’m the one calling the shots.

“Thanks, Cass,” I say quietly. “I think I needed to hear that.”

“Anytime,” she replies, then gestures toward the garden gates. “Now, how about we step away from all that heavy stuff for a minute? I’ve got a few tricks to teach you, and I promise, no sundresses involved.”

I laugh, the tension easing out of my shoulders as I follow her. Maybe she’s right. Maybe I just needed to stop fighting so hard against everything and start using what I’ve got to carve my own path. This place doesn’t have to define me. I’m gonna make sure I do that on my own terms.