Page 8

Whizz left Butch to Cheryl and Michael. He was really happy that he’d visited Butch. Spending time with him made him realize that Butch had only been doing what he thought was right. It hadn’t been and he’d put them all in danger, yet Butch had suffered the most out of the club. The civilians that lost their lives were a tragedy. The Savage Brothers had been a problem even without Butch’s involvement. From what he learned from Lacey, they were determined to seek revenge and use anyone they could to get what they wanted.

The look on Butch’s face when Cheryl and Michael walked in the room would stay with Whizz for a long time. Hope, happiness, and joy had crossed Butch’s face. They were a family outside of The Skulls. Cheryl had really come through for her man. She was strong through and through.

Climbing onto his bike he headed back to the clubhouse. Driving inside the compound walls, he saw Eva had most of the kids in the play area. Tate was sitting on one of the swings watching the chaos unfold. Hardy was sat on the wall beside his bike, smoking.

Parking the bike, he joined Hardy. He turned down the offer of a cigarette.

“Doesn’t your woman want you smoking?” Hardy asked. His voice was gravelly as if he was on the verge of breaking down.

“What’s gone up your ass and took a shit?” Whizz took a seat beside him. The last thing he wanted to do was deal with Hardy. Ever since the truth had come out, Hardy had become bitter. Whizz didn’t know about the other club members but he was tired of dealing with the asshole. Ten years ago, the fucker had made a mistake. It wasn’t anyone else’s fault but his own. Whatever reason Rose had for finally breaking apart was her own. Hardy wasn’t dealing and neither was Rose, and that was the problem. Rose hadn’t really been dealing with it for the past ten years. She’d been pushing it aside as if it didn’t matter. The couple was paying that price now.

“Where’s Rose?”

Whizz glanced at his watch to see it was after lunch.

“Is Lacey out with Prue and Angel?”

“Where’s Rose?”

Murphy walked out of the clubhouse, heading toward Tate. Whizz watched his friend kiss her head, and he was shocked by what he saw. Tate smiled up at Murphy, reaching up to cup his face. His friend did the same to Tate. He read the words on her lips.

“I love you.”

In all the years he’d known Tate, he’d never once seen her act like a human. This was a first for him to witness. The love on her face tore down the hard assed bitch he’d known her to be.

When the moment was over, Murphy made his way over to them, looking happy.

“Hey, guys, how’s it hanging?” Murphy pulled out a cigarette and took a long drag.

“Fine, you?” Whizz asked.

“I can’t complain. I’ve got a good woman, a good life, and for once in our life there’s no fucking enemy.” Murphy held his arms open with a smile on his face.

“We’ve got the world to look forward to.”

“Life’s good for some of you,” Hardy said.

Rolling his eyes, Whizz glanced at Hardy.

“For fuck’s sake it’s not the club’s problem that you couldn’t keep your dick in your pants. It would do Rose good if she gets rid of your ass. All you fucking do is moan.”

“What the fuck did you say?” Hardy asked, throwing his cigarette to the ground and stamping it out.

“You heard me. You’re the one who didn’t see what you had in front of you. Like always you wanted something more, something you shouldn’t have. Rose changed herself for you. What did you do?”

“I didn’t touch another fucking woman. I kept Rose with me at all times.” Hardy took a step closer to him.

“Wow, good for you,” Whizz said.

“You gave her fuck all while she had to make the effort. What exactly did you do besides keep her pussy on tap for you? You don’t deserve her. Rose should leave your ass and find another man who can give her what she needs.”

Whizz fell on his ass from Hardy’s punch.

“Hold up,” Murphy said, grabbing Hardy.

“You little fucking punk. Come on, get up.” Hardy spat the words back to him.

Wiping the blood from underneath his nose, Whizz got to his feet.

“Everyone’s treating you like fucking porcelain around here because of the shit that happened to you.”

Any other time Whizz would have withdrawn. He’d walk away as the memories would be too hard to handle. Lacey’s face as he slid inside her warm heat invaded every single one of his senses, forcing the bad memories away. He was no longer held in place, scared, terrified. Standing tall, he glared at Hardy.

“And you’re too busy whining like a fucking pussy. ‘Rose is going to leave me. Where’s Rose? I don’t know what I’ll do.’ Be a fucking man,” Whizz said, mimicking Hardy’s voice before returning to his own. He told Murphy to let Hardy go. He wanted to take on the fucker.

Murphy let Hardy go, but Whizz was ready for him. He took the impact from Hardy’s body, sliding to the ground. Hitting his ass hard on the ground, Whizz grunted but rolled, slamming his fist against Hardy’s face. The other man jerked back but not before landing a blow to his stomach. Whizz welcomed the pain as he looked at Hardy.

“You’ve got no idea what you’re talking about,” Hardy said, wiping the blood from his lip.

“You’re right, I don’t. I’ve never cheated on one of my women with a whore. Or was she a sweet-butt? I wonder how many other brothers had her ass before you got to her. Rose was a virgin when you took her. I thought she was part of the club, but she wasn’t, was she?” Whizz asked.

The first time he joined The Skulls, he’d truly believed Rose started out as a sweet-butt. They’d gotten her confused with her friend. Rose had come with a sweet-butt and caught Hardy’s eye. She hadn’t been passed around the brothers like Whizz had thought. There was a lot about the couple he didn’t know.

Hardy landed a punch to Whizz’s face, clocking his ribs before he pushed Hardy back.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Sandy asked, pushing her way through the crowd. Eva was herding up the children to get them out of sight. The other brothers were crowding around them including the three prospects they’d taken on, Baker, Fighter, and Ink.

“Teaching this little bastard a lesson.” Hardy went to land another blow, but Whizz stopped him by blocking the hit, then slamming one of his own underneath Hardy’s chin.

They fought for a good ten minutes before they both ended up on the floor, rolling around, hitting each other, firing out curses. No one tried to stop them.

Whizz heard a car pull up in the distance. Both of them looked up to see Rose and Tiny climbing out of the car. They jerked apart as if their father had caught them. His body ached from the punches, and he might even have a cracked rib or two from Hardy’s fists.

“What the fuck is going on?” Tiny asked. Their president looked past the group to glare at Lash.

“Don’t look at me. I wasn’t doing anything.”

“You weren’t fucking stopping it either,” Tiny said, glaring.

Yep, Lash was trying to do a bad job so Tiny would have to pick another brother to take over the club.

“I’ll deal with you later,” Tiny said, pointing at Lash.

“What are you two doing?”

Whizz looked to Hardy to see him looking back. “Nothing.”

“No, you don’t get to nothing me. For the first time in over five fucking years we’re enemy free. We’re getting our shit back together. Gonzalez took a shitload from us, we were forced to wipe out another club, and one of our brothers is laid up in hospital scared shitless that we’re going to off him. I come home to find two more brothers beating the shit out of each other. You better have a good fucking reason as to why you’re doing it as ‘nothing’ is not going to fucking cut it with me.”

Neither of them spoke.

“They were arguing about Rose,” Tate said, standing in front of Murphy. Whizz glared toward the other woman. She shrugged.

“You were fighting about her. Hardy’s been whining about her being gone. Shit got said, and it escalated.”

He should have known Tate couldn’t keep her mouth shut.

“You can’t do it, can you?” Rose asked, glaring at Hardy.

“Why can’t you give me some peace, just for once?”

Tears were in her eyes as she stared back at her man.

“Baby, I love you. I was worried.” Hardy’s entire demeanor changed. Whizz saw the love Hardy had for his woman, yet Rose held herself back. It hurt to see the two fighting so damn hard when they both loved one another.

“No, you were worried that I wasn’t coming back. You don’t love me. You’re used to having me around.” She shook her head.

“I went to the spa to relax, clear my head, and I come home to find you beating the shit out of Whizz.”

Rose started walking away. No one stopped her or Hardy as he made to follow after her.

“I don’t want you to come with me. I’m tired of this. I’m done.” She looked behind her toward Tiny.

“Will you drive me back home?” She started to walk toward Tiny again.

The devastation on Hardy’s face was clear for the whole club to see, but no one stepped in. This was not their fight.

“Rose, baby, don’t go.”

She ignored him.

“I want to go back home. Can you please keep him away from me?” Rose spoke to Tiny with her back to Hardy.

“Are you sure about that?”

“I’ve tried to get some time to myself. He won’t give it me, and this is the next best thing.” She tucked some hair behind her ear.

“This is the only way.”

Tiny looked over her shoulder toward Hardy.

“No, Tiny, please, man, don’t do this. Rose, baby, we can fix this. I promised you we could fix this. It was ten years ago.”

She whirled around and shoved him away hard. Hardy was invading her space.

“It was ten years ago, but what have you given me, Hardy? What do I have to show for this? You’ve gotten everything you ever wanted. I was so scared of losing you that I changed. I never did anything wrong. In all the time we’ve been together I never once looked at another man, yet all you did was look at other women. I know you do. I don’t care how long it has been or what you need, Hardy. This is what I need, and for once I’m going to handle what I need.”

She was wrong about Hardy looking at other women. Whizz may have been mistaken about who she was with regards to the club, but Hardy didn’t look at any other woman but Rose.

No one stopped her as she climbed back into Tiny’s car. Whizz followed Tiny’s gaze to see him looking toward Eva, who was nodding her head. She agreed with Rose. It was time to take her home until Rose made a decision that was entirely her own.

Whizz’s heart broke for Hardy as he watched Tiny pull his woman out of the clubhouse. No one could stop this. Tiny had made his decision.

“I don’t get it. What does this mean?” Ink said.

“It means Hardy can’t leave the compound without one of us,” Lash said.

“Rose doesn’t want him near her. It’s our job to keep him contained and away from her. Tiny makes sure women have a choice to leave the club without their man. This is a safety net for all women. It also stops any brother who is beating on his wife from getting away with it.”

He watched Hardy’s chest rise and fall with each indrawn breath.

“It means she’s done with me. She’s going to divorce me now.” He turned away walking toward the clubhouse.

“Hardy,” Whizz said.

“Don’t, Whizz. I shouldn’t have hit out at you. This is my problem and has been for ten years, but I was too fucking stupid to see it.”

No one stopped Hardy as he made his way back into the clubhouse. The defeat could be seen in the way he carried his shoulders. The fight had left Hardy.

Slowly, the rest of The Skulls made their way to finish their business. Baker stayed behind.

“How do you become a member?” he asked.

Frowning, Whizz turned to the prospect that he knew was favored to be voted in first.

“You mean to tell me you joined a club where you don’t know how to become a member? Do you know how messed up that is?”

Baker shrugged.

“The Skulls’ reputation is something I want to be part of. You’re a family. I see that every day I’m with you. I don’t have a family. I don’t have anyone. I’d rather do some crazy shit that makes me part of it than not.”

“What if we want you to take a woman’s cherry? Or sacrifice a chicken at dawn or some shit?” Whizz couldn’t believe there was a man who didn’t have the first clue what to do to make him part of the club.

“Then I’ll do it.”

Shaking his head, Whizz looked toward the door to see Eva standing there, waiting for Tiny to get back.

“We all agree that we want you to be voted in, and then we head up to the warehouse or we do it right here. You take on the brothers. If you’re still standing, you’re in. If you go down with one punch, you’re out.” Whizz hit him on the back.

“Want my advice? Start practicing. These bastards will fucking kill you.”

He headed toward Eva. She was stood nibbling her lip looking nervous.

“Are you okay?”

“I don’t know. Tiny doesn’t look in the mood to deal with my dad, does he?”

“Is Tiny ever ready to deal with Ned?”

“I don’t know, but he’s going to have to.”

“Ned’s on his way here?”

“It has been too long since he’s been here. He’s coming for a visit. Gonzalez is gone as are all the threats. Daddy will be here by tomorrow morning.”

Whizz whistled.

“I look forward to it.”

“He’s bringing some of his fighters for the trip.”

“Okay, that’s a shock.” Whizz frowned.

“I don’t know why.” Eva nibbled her lip.

“I’d just tell him. Spurt it out like a Band-Aid.” Whizz tapped her shoulder and made his way into the clubhouse.

“Did Lacey go with Prue and Angel?”

“Yeah, she looked nervous as hell though. She’s not what I thought she would be.”

“What do you mean?” Whizz asked, curious.

“She looked scared. I saw her hands shaking while she washed her dish. I don’t think she’s used to being surrounded by family. We unnerve her.”

“Lacey had a family. She’s surrounded by the men who took her family out.”

“I don’t know. I think it’s more than that. We’re pretty strange to take in at first.” Eva shrugged.

“I hope she can forgive us for what we did. I can see you care about her a lot. She’s changed you where none of us could.”

Whizz nodded.

“She has changed me.” He’d be lying if he said she didn’t. He wasn’t the same man as before he met her. Before Lacey he’d have stayed in his room, refusing to come out. There was no way he’d have gotten involved with Hardy or even spent the time to talk to Rose. He’d have stayed cut off from it all, away from the main club. He hadn’t fought anyone in so long that he was surprised he still knew how to fight.

“I’ve got to go. Hardy got me good.”

Eva moved out of the way to let him pass. He wondered how Lacey was getting on. Whizz doubted she’d ever had a day with the girls. Angel and Prue were two completely different women in looks and in personality. It would be interesting to see how she survived.

****

“You have got to buy that dress. It matches your hair, and it molds to your curves, Lacey,” Prue said.

Lacey turned this way and that. She wore a pair of sneakers as she moved for both women to see her in the different clothes. Neither woman had left her alone for two minutes to get her thoughts together.

Angel appeared out of the dressing room, whistling.

“Prue’s right. It’s perfect, and I know Whizz would love to see you in that.”

She turned to look at Angel, who wore a pair of tight jeans that emphasized her rounded ass. The other woman didn’t look fat but sensual.

“Do you really think Lash will let you wear jeans?” Prue asked.

“I wear jeans all the time.” Angel tucked her blonde hair behind her ear. Her cheeks were a lovely shade of red.

“Correction, he let you wear jeans when you were pregnant and there was no chance for him to get a look in. Those jeans will spend more time around your ankles than around your waist.”

Lacey laughed as Angel’s face turned a deeper shade of red.

“There are times I prefer having Tate with me. She’d tell me to kick Lash’s ass.”

“I’m Prue, and you’ve chosen me because we both know Tate’s a pain in the ass when she’s got the pregnancy hormones.”

Anthony and Markus were both asleep in their pushchairs. Prue had decided to sit this shop out to take care of the boys.

“You should get that one, Lacey. I love it,” Angel said, fingering the edge of the fabric.

“If it’s money you’re worried about, don’t be. Whizz already gave me a stash of cash to pay for you.” Prue leaned back to watch them both.

“Okay.” Going back into the dressing room, Lacey closed the door, giving herself a little privacy.

“We’re taking her to the lingerie shop next, Angel. I don’t care how embarrassed you get around underwear.” Prue’s voice was filled with laughter.

Lacey had never had female friends or been shopping like this. Most of the time Dalton brought her back clothes that was a size or two bigger than she needed. She couldn’t recall the last time she’d gone shopping for herself, if she ever had. It had been hard to do anything by herself. She would have hated Dalton waiting around for her to try on clothes.

Staring at her reflection she wondered if she should get her hopes up only to have them dashed away. Prue and Angel were both amazing women, yet they were totally different. She liked them both and knew if given the time she’d become firm friends with them.

Once Whizz was done with her, she’d be cast aside, and forced to live her life once again without them. The Skulls, if they let her live, wouldn’t allow her to have any contact with the two women.

The very thought of Whizz moving on hurt. She rubbed at her chest trying to soothe the pain.

“Come on, Lacey. It’s time for us to go.”

“I’m coming.”

Removing the dress she was careful with the fabric. She had taken a look at the price and was so nervous about tearing the dress. She wasn’t used to such expensive clothes. Most of the clothes she wore were cheap. The Savage Brothers didn’t have a lot of cash to spare on the luxury of fancy clothes. Lacey rushed to put her clothes on, feeling more like herself even though she wore Angel’s old maternity clothes.

Angel and Prue were waiting for her as she opened the changing room door.

“We thought you were going to stay camped out there all day.”

Smiling, she shook her head.

“No.” She held up the dress for Prue to take.

“I’ll buy this, and then we’re onto the lingerie store.” Prue pointed at the pushchair, and she made her way out of the store to follow Angel.

“You’re not used to this, are you?” Angel asked, pocketing her purse.

“What do you mean?”

“Hanging out with the girls. You’re not used to it. I can see how nervous you are. You don’t need to be nervous.” Angel smiled, reaching out to touch her arm.

It took every ounce of strength not to pull away from her touch. The only person she’d been able to handle touching her was Whizz. He was the one person she trusted with her body. Dalton was dead, so he no longer counted as the man she trusted to touch her.

“I’m not used to it. I’ve, erm, I’ve never actually been out shopping for my own clothes.”

She started to twiddle the shirt in her fingers. They were outside the store with people passing them. Lacey hadn’t ever been relaxed out in the open before. There were too many people who could hurt her for her to be relaxed.

“Don’t worry about it. You’ve got to learn to trust us. We’re not the enemy here. You’ll get used to being out with us. None of us bite, I promise. Well, apart from Tate if she’s in a mood.”

Lacey laughed. How could she not? Angel was doing everything in her power to make her feel comfortable.

Prue walked out of the store with their bags.

“Here, ladies.”

Angel took both and placed them on the pushchair. Her cell phone went off. Lacey waited while Angel looked at her phone.

“Lash checking up on you.”

“He’s not checking up on me. I’ve told you before, he worries about me all the time.” Angel typed a response and pocketed her phone.

Prue rolled her eyes, turning to look at Lacey.

“Her man worries about her. I’m surprised he let you out to play. He’s very possessive about where you go.”

Angel shook her head.

“And you wonder why Tate annoys you.”

“Hey, I’m a better option than Tate. She’s a bitch naturally. I just say it like it is. Lash is smitten. Nothing wrong with that.”

Lacey stood between the two women as they kept talking, bantering back and forth.

“Is that Gash?” Prue asked, pointing ahead of them.

Lacey followed where she was pointing, and sure enough there was Gash, leaning against the wall. Several women were surrounding him, trying to get his attention. None of the women succeeded. When he spotted them walking toward him, he moved away.

“Hey, ladies, I thought I’d catch up with you.”

“You lost at cards, didn’t you?” Angel asked, staring at the man with a smile.

“I may have played a quick game of cards with the boys and lost.”

“What did you have to pay?” Prue asked, looking suspicious.

“Did I have to pay anything?” Gash stretched, glancing at all of the women.

“Is this because of me?” Lacey asked, feeling awful that the men needed to keep an eye on her.

“Sorry, darling. This has nothing to do with you. The last thing the boys want to be doing is shopping. I lost at cards and drew the short straw to keep an eye on you girls.”

“What happened to the prospect that usually tails us?” Prue asked, glaring.

“Ink is keeping an eye on Rose. She’s finally upped and left Hardy, asking for Tiny to keep him away. Fighter is pretty much by Hardy’s side to make sure he doesn’t try to escape.

“What about Baker? What’s he doing?”

“He had to go home with Eva. We’re getting a visit from Ned and a couple of his fighters tomorrow. All the prospects are out of commission, which leaves one of us. I played a shitty game, and I get to pay the price by escorting you lovely ladies around.”

“You sound thrilled by that.” Angel turned toward her.

“One of the men usually tails us when we leave Fort Wills. It’s one of the deals we all had to make. Sometimes our men will come with us, or they’ll give us some space to be ourselves. It has been a hectic couple of years. We’ve not had a choice but to have someone with us at all times.”

“It has been a sucky couple of years, and I’ve not been through most of it,” Prue said.

“Yeah, I heard,” Gash said.

“Where are we going now?”

Lacey watched as Prue and Angel looked at each other then at her.

“We’re going to the lingerie store. It’ll be perfect. You can babysit while we check out some new sets.”

Gash groaned.

“It just had to be my luck. There better be no teasing from you.”

Lacey chuckled at the look of horror on Gash’s face.

They started walking toward the lingerie store. Keeping her hands at her sides, Lacey followed the two women into the store, wishing she was anywhere else but there. Angel and Prue left the pushchairs in Gash’s company as they all started looking around. Gash didn’t comment. He stood with both chairs, looking in control.

“Do you think he’ll stay out of the way?” Prue asked, chuckling.

Gash cleared his throat.

“I’ve been in prison for five years, ladies. Seeing underwear is still a turn-on to me. I’m no different from a teenage boy.” He whistled, working both pushchairs as if he was a natural.

“Go and take a look,” Prue said.

They split up, and Lacey started looking through the underwear on display. She saw the aisle that held the style of bras and panties that she usually wore. They were plain white and black with no design, simple. Her breasts were large, and when growing up she’d hated how uncomfortable bras could become. Dalton had the worst judgment when it came to her breasts. He was always getting the wrong size, not that she blamed him.

Looking through them, she heard Gash clear his throat. Glancing behind her, she saw Gash was leaning against the wall staring at her.

Heat filled her cheeks as he watched her. Was he turned on by looking at underwear?

“You’re going with Whizz?”

She stared into his face wishing she knew the answer to that. At least he wasn’t thinking about sex if he was talking about Whizz.

“I don’t know.”

“You fucked him yet?”

An older woman in her fifties passed them, giving Gash a glare.

“Bite me, woman. I’m not asking you. Anyone would think they hadn’t been fucked by a cock. It’s how you get fucking kids.” Gash stared at the woman before she scampered away from them.

“I hate it when bitches think I care what they think.” He shook his head before smiling back at her. “Well?”

“Yes, we’ve fucked.”

“Then you’re his woman. He doesn’t want to see your sweet ass in shit like that. Fuck me, I bet my own grandma wore better shit than that. If Whizz has sent you out with money, he wants you to do something different.” He moved away from the wall. Markus and Anthony were still asleep in the pushchairs, but they faced them.

“Buy something sexy. Do you want Whizz?”

“I can pick out my own underwear.” This couldn’t get any more embarrassing. She didn’t even know Gash and he was giving her advice on what underwear to pick out.

“You’re looking at the shit that’s not sexy at all. You want Whizz, you want to keep him, step your game up. Pick the kind of underwear a man wants to remove with his teeth.” Gash kept staring at her, unnerving her with the intensity of his gaze.

“Why does this mean so much to you?” she asked.

“You know who I am. The club I belonged to.”

“And I’ve heard about Whizz. You’ve changed him. He wants you, Lacey. If you want him, then start fighting to keep him. Once the brothers see what you mean to Whizz, they’ll back off. Besides, I didn’t realize you were a selfish bitch.”

“What? I’m not.”

“No? Then why are you taking all the credit for all the bad shit going on? Stop being selfish and see that the blame falls equally.”

He stepped back, giving her some space. Okay, Gash was a little different from all the other brothers she’d met. He didn’t blame her for all the problems happening in their life, but still, it didn’t stop her from being slightly frightened of him. The man was huge in every way possible.

She looked at the wall and thought about Whizz. He was the first man she truly wanted to keep. Dalton hadn’t been hers, and she’d not wanted him.

Reaching out, she stopped before she grabbed one of the bras. She wanted Whizz to look at her the way Lash did Angel, Zero did Prue, and Tiny did Eva. Lacey could stand there all day thinking about the looks the men shared with their women. She wanted Whizz to look at her and to know that when he got her alone, she was going to be screaming in pleasure within seconds. She wanted him to want her, not just want but to crave her. Above everything else, she wanted to feel like a woman just once in her life.

Moving away from the bland underwear she went in search of something sexy, something she wouldn’t dare wear before Whizz.

“That’s my girl,” Gash said.

Her cheeks had to be as red as Angel’s with the way Gash praised her. He didn’t take the piss, only encouraged her. His presence had nothing to do with helping her personally. Gash was clearly only helping out another brother, but his advice was oddly comforting. This was the first time she’d picked out anything beautiful to enhance her assets.

“You’ve got large tits, Lacey. Get something to show them off.”

The women who passed Gash looked disgusted by him. She saw the interest in some of the women’s eyes as well. Gash wasn’t every woman’s cup of tea, but he certainly made for an interesting shopping experience.

For the next hour she bought so many sets of bras and panties to tease and delight Whizz when she finally saw him. It was getting late, and hunger hit her hard.

“Come on,” Prue said.

“I’m starving, and I can’t wait until we get home.”

They headed toward the food court and settled on the burger joint for their food. Lacey sat with Gash and the boys.

“You don’t need to be embarrassed by what you’ve bought,” he said.

“I’m not.” She tucked some hair behind her ear. She was a little embarrassed that it took a man to get her to buy something sexy.

“Do you care about Whizz?” The fun-loving man that was there when Angel and Prue were there disappeared.

“Yes.” She wasn’t going to lie. Gash scared her. Killer and Lash were supposed to be the men no one messed with. She heard both men could kill a man with their bare hands. From the look on Gash’s face, his demeanor, she knew he held a lot of secrets inside him, dangerous secrets. Five years in prison for rape and murder would do that to a man.

“Good. He’s been through a lot. I heard so have you.”

“I’ve survived.”

“The ink on your wrists isn’t a good enough indication that you’ve been surviving. It looks like you’re only just getting through.”

“I fucked up when I was younger. I’ve not tried to kill myself in over a decade.”

Gash tilted his head to the side.

“You’re not going to kill yourself anymore.”

“I’ve thought about it. I deserve it.”

“Why?”

She gritted her teeth, glaring at him.

“I’m not going to stop with my questions. You may as well answer them. From the look in your eye you’re back to feeling guilty again.”

“I was selfish. I wanted one more chance to see Whizz, and when I did, you all took out my club.” She stopped talking. Her hands were shaking.

“I deserved to die with them. They died because of me.”

“You’ve got that guilt and blame down to a tee. You lived because of Whizz.” He leaned over the table to get close. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Angel and Prue were ordering their food. They were in a long queue, which left her alone with Gash.

“If it wasn’t for him, you’d be dead along with those men. Your crew, the fuckers who thought they could mess in our town, would have gotten you killed.” He held his hand up to stop her from talking.

“Did you agree with what they were doing?”

“It doesn’t matter if I agreed. I went along with them.”

“You didn’t agree with them. You, Lacey, you came to the hospital to make sure we didn’t kill Butch. You’re not like your club. Whatever guilt you’ve got, you have to let it go. It’s not worth it.”

“Why are you telling me this? Why are you trying to help me?” she asked.

“I’m not part of the club.”

“I’m doing this to help Whizz. He deserves it. I’m helping him, and I see the way he is with you. I heard what the guys said from the moment you entered Whizz’s life. You’re both fucking broken, and together you can fix each other. Don’t feel guilty. Those men who thought they were getting revenge would have killed you eventually, not with their own gun, but by their own actions.”

He pulled away, smiling as the other two women placed the trays of food on the counter.

“Hey. We loaded up on everything,” Angel said, taking a seat beside her as Prue sat beside Gash.

Lacey picked up the burger filled with gherkins, sauce, tomatoes, and everything else. Taking a bite she savored the flavor as they all started to talk about what they needed to do when they got home. Would it be so wrong to let the guilt fade?

They killed your club.

Closing her eyes, she let out a moan to disguise the pain. No matter how many times she thought about what they did, she couldn’t hate Whizz. She didn’t know what she was going to do.