Page 65 of Whispers of Wisteria (The Garden of Eternal Flowers #5)

Damen POV

Bianca went to her room with Julian after the fae left. Titus returned shortly after that.

He stepped into my office, shaken, and ran his fingers through his hair. His knuckles were bruised and bleeding, and he wouldn’t look at either me or Miles.

“Titus?” Miles half stood from his seat. “Where did you go?”

“You need to get rid of that damn rabbit,” he said without preamble.

My lecture died in my throat. This had been one of the few times that Bianca had been emotionally open, and he could have ruined everything. But, thankfully, Gregory had taken care of the aftermath.

I assumed he was mad about everything that’d happened, but it was about the rabbit?

This was the first time I had seen it. There was nothing notable from what I could tell. It was an old, ratty toy with frayed stitching and a missing eye. Probably something Abigail gave her when she was first adopted.

“Why?” I asked.

He clenched his jaw—I could almost feel his anger from across the room. “Because it’s from Richards’s place.”

It felt like the wind had been knocked from me. “What?”

“It reeks of it,” Titus said. “And she kept it!”

Miles had sat back in his seat, face pale. “Why would she do that?”

“Because she’s not ‘fine’,” I answered, rubbing my hand down my face. I was too numb to feel the anger I knew would come later. “No matter how much she claims she is.”

I’d even asked about it, but backed off once she got upset. Still, I should have known.

“We knew that,” Miles said. “But why would she even want it?”

“I’ll take care of it.” I stood. My hands were shaking as I pushed in my chair. “Stay here.”

I didn’t even wait for them to respond before I left the room.

Bianca POV

Julian was sitting next to me, his voice low, as he sharpened a knife with a rainbow blade. I was secretly coveting it—ready to interrupt him to ask the whereabouts of his supplier—when he stopped and looked up. A second later, my bedroom door opened.

Damen stepped into the room.

“Bianca, I need to talk to you.” He looked at Julian and added, “Alone.”

A chill shot down my spine.

“But…” Julian hesitated, and I could tell he wanted to argue, but there was an expression on Damen’s face that I’d never seen before.

“Titus and Miles are in my office,” he said dismissively.

Julian blinked, then nodded. He touched my hand.

“I’ll be back,” he promised, kissing my forehead. Then he left me with Damen.

He didn’t speak as he grabbed my vanity chair, brought it closer to the bed, and straddled it in a seat. He crossed his arms over the back of the chair and looked at my rabbit.

My breath caught. I was still clinging to it. I should have put it away.

“Tell me about the rabbit,” he said.

My vision swayed. “It’s mine,” I answered, barely able to speak.

His attention moved back to my face, and his features eased slightly. “I know it’s yours,” he said. “And no one is going to take it from you. But I’m still asking.”

I looked down as the rising panic retreated. Still, this was a conversation I didn’t want to have.

But I’d just promised Uncle Caleb I’d try, and couldn’t go back on my word. It was a matter of honor.

“I need it,” I admitted, barely breathing.

He paused for a moment, then asked, “What about it makes you need it?”

I froze, but not in a bad way. He wasn’t judging me?

“I guess… because it’s soft?” I answered. “It—it was cute o-once.”

“How long have you had it?”

Why?

“Kieran gave it to me before he left,” I said slowly. I narrowed my eyes on him.

What was he doing? He’d better not be trying to trick me.

Damen lifted his eyebrow. “So you’ve had it all this time?”

I frowned. Was he dense, or just being nosy?

“Yes…” I replied. “I’ve always had it with me.”

“But you told Bryce you don’t sleep with it,” Damen replied. “And I’d never seen it before. So where do you keep it?”

Should I tell him? He’d probably not betray me.

“I put it in the drawer.” I looked at the nightstand, then back at him. He’d followed my gaze. “Or under my pillow.”

“You’re holding it now,” he pointed out.

My shoulders tightened, and my skin grew warm. “Because I’m upset! I’d like to see you die and be okay. It’s not like I carry it around all the time, I’m not a child.”

“I’m not making fun of you,” Damen responded. “I was just curious because you had it tonight. What made you reach for it?”

“I—I don’t know,” I responded. What did he want from me? “There was nobody here when I woke up, so I grabbed it.”

He didn’t say anything, so I added, “If it offends you so much, I’ll make sure you never have to see it again.”

Damen cocked his head. “It doesn’t.”

There was something, I knew it.

Titus had been glaring before he stormed off.

Maybe…

“Did—” I held it to my chin, my thoughts dizzying. “Is it bad? Is that why Titus left?”

Damen, who’d been relaxed before, straightened. “No—”

“He was looking at it,” I breathed.

“Titus left because he noticed something he didn’t expect,” Damen responded cautiously. “But he’s fine now.”

“What did he notice?” I asked. A thousand scenarios rushed through my thoughts. He was a dragon. They had enhanced senses.

Damen’s eyes flickered with guilt. “It’s not—”

“No…” It came to me before he could finish speaking.

He smelled it.

The same way he’d smelled the wolves who’d attacked me, and could smell other embarrassing biological functions.

That’s why he got mad.

He could smell what happened, and what it meant. He could smell that I held it after and cried.

The evidence was still there.

My body went cold, and my hands began to numb. The rabbit fell into my lap, but then I immediately felt guilty. I grabbed it and held it to me again.

“But I need it!” Why was I so stupid? “It helps me! I can’t just throw it away.”

“You don’t have to give it up.” His voice cut through the panic, and my heart stilled. “I know why you need it, and I don’t care. Not in the way you think.”

I squeezed it tighter.

“It was one of the few things that didn’t hurt you,” he said. “And one of your only sources of comfort when everything else was gone.”

My eyes filled with tears.

“One day you won’t need it anymore,” he continued, holding my gaze through my blurring vision. The air grew warmer. “Because you’ll know that you’re finally safe. That’s my job.”

I couldn’t breathe.

“Until then, I want you to go see Do Yun.”

I jerked back. “What?”

“You don’t need to talk about anything you’re not ready for,” he said. “I’ll do my part, but nothing is going to change if you don’t make an effort too. You deserve to know what normal feels like.”

My pulse was pounding in my ears. He was looking at me, waiting for my response. He hadn’t tricked me; he didn’t try to take it away. Instead, he was… helping me? Maybe.

“I won’t drink his tea,” I finally said. That was my hard line. “I’ll bring my own drink. A mocha latte, because it’s my favorite.”

Maybe he’d get the hint.

“That’s fine,” he responded, and it looked like the subtle clue went right over his head. “So long as you go.”

I bit my lip. Perhaps I should go. It was almost sad to think of how many days Dr. Nam must have spent waiting for me. He would have been so bored and lonely. Surely he’d be grateful for the company.

“Okay,” I said.

It couldn’t hurt to see.

“Good,” Damen said with a nod. And I thought the matter was settled before he, almost hesitantly, added, “And you need a physical exam.”

It felt as though the breath had been knocked from me. “B-but—”

There was a tightness in my chest and a red haze creeping in from the corner of my vision.

How dare he bring this up.

“You know you do,” Damen watched me, unflinching. “If this were anyone else in the same situation, you’d say the same.”

And all at once, the knot in my throat loosened.

“I—” I began, looking at my sheet-covered feet. “Yeah. I… I don’t like being in pain. But…”

I’m scared.

On some level, I wanted to do it. Maybe it would help. Maybe I’d get better.

I did know I needed to be seen. But…

“It’s okay to be afraid,” Damen said suddenly, and I looked up, meeting his eyes. Were my thoughts that transparent? “I’ll go with you. It wouldn’t be like when Bryce took you.”

I held the sheet crumpled against my chest. “W-what?”

Why would he even want to? Julian would probably want to be there, and he was gentle and supportive, but still, what if it weren’t enough?

Damen, however, was so bossy. He’d just be overbearing, intrusive, and—

Perfect. He’d already proven that he wouldn’t flinch when I threw up on him. He’d helped when I had my period. Plus, he was proficient at stalking and getting his way.

He wouldn’t let me run.

And some part of me didn’t want to anymore anyway. Not really. I’d already died; there was no way this’d be worse.

“You—you really would?” I asked. “But what if Bryce doesn’t like it?” My brother would probably be jealous that Damen succeeded where he failed.

Then I’d have to listen to his mouth, and it’d just be annoying.

“I’d still go. You’re more important than Bryce’s feelings,” he repeated.

“Oh.” I bit my lip. It almost felt like I could breathe again. “I—I’ll see Dr. Nam first, okay? But… I’ll go. Just… Can you tell them to stop asking?”

Damen lifted a brow.

“I—” My skin flushed. “I don’t want anyone to get pushy. Can’t they wait until I’m brave enough?”

“Alright,” he said finally. “I’ll tell them. We’ll wait until you’re ready. But you’ll try. Soon.”

I nodded, and even though a small part of me was still afraid, for the first time, I felt more than just fear at the idea.

Miles POV

No one spoke after Julian stormed into Damen’s office. He stood near the door and glared in the general direction of Bianca’s bedroom. Titus hadn’t moved from his place near the bookshelves, and I stayed in my seat.

It felt like ages before Damen returned and closed the door.

He didn’t look at us and was deep in thought as he made his way back to his desk.

“What was that all about?” Julian snapped. “Do I have your permission to go back now?”

“Not yet,” Damen replied.