Page 213 of Whispers of Wisteria

“Until then, I want you to go see Do Yun.”

I jerked back. “What?”

“You don’t need to talk about anything you’re not ready for,” he said. “I’ll do my part, but nothing is going to change if you don’t make an effort too. You deserve to know what normal feels like.”

My pulse was pounding in my ears. He was looking at me, waiting for my response. He hadn’t tricked me; he didn’t try to take it away. Instead, he was… helping me? Maybe.

“I won’t drink his tea,” I finally said. That was my hard line. “I’ll bring my own drink. A mocha latte, because it’s my favorite.”

Maybe he’d get the hint.

“That’s fine,” he responded, and it looked like the subtle clue went right over his head. “So long as you go.”

I bit my lip. Perhaps I should go. It was almost sad to think of how many days Dr. Nam must have spent waiting for me. He would have been so bored and lonely. Surely he’d be grateful for the company.

“Okay,” I said.

It couldn’t hurt to see.

“Good,” Damen said with a nod. And I thought the matter was settled before he, almost hesitantly, added, “And you need a physical exam.”

It felt as though the breath had been knocked from me. “B-but—”

There was a tightness in my chest and a red haze creeping in from the corner of my vision.

Howdarehe bring this up.

“You know you do,” Damen watched me, unflinching. “If this were anyone else in the same situation, you’d say the same.”

And all at once, the knot in my throat loosened.

“I—” I began, looking at my sheet-covered feet. “Yeah. I… I don’t like being in pain. But…”

I’m scared.

On some level, I wanted to do it. Maybe it would help. Maybe I’d get better.

I did know I needed to be seen. But…

“It’s okay to be afraid,” Damen said suddenly, and I looked up, meeting his eyes. Were my thoughts that transparent? “I’ll go with you. It wouldn’t be like when Bryce took you.”

I held the sheet crumpled against my chest. “W-what?”

Why would he even want to? Julian would probably want to be there, and he was gentle and supportive, but still, what if it weren’t enough?

Damen, however, was so bossy. He’d just be overbearing, intrusive, and—

Perfect. He’d already proven that he wouldn’t flinch when I threw up on him. He’d helped when I had my period. Plus, he was proficient at stalking and getting his way.

He wouldn’t let me run.

And some part of me didn’t want to anymore anyway. Not really. I’d already died; there was no way this’d be worse.

“You—you really would?” I asked. “But what if Bryce doesn’t like it?” My brother would probably be jealous that Damen succeeded where he failed.

Then I’d have to listen to his mouth, and it’d just be annoying.

“I’d still go. You’re more important than Bryce’s feelings,” he repeated.