Page 46

Sav

I pressed a hand to my throat, forcing my heart to slow.

“It doesn’t matter what he thinks,” Hazel said to my back.

I stared out the window, swallowing hard. Was he angry I was marrying someone else, or that I was doing it for the wrong reasons? The rage in the air made it hard to think.

Relief flickered at seeing him on his feet—then his presence hit me, and regret surged. As if I needed more reasons to regret my choice. As if I wasn’t already drowning in them.

I didn’t want to spend another night in this room. In this court. Three years in the human realm had been meant as a punishment. To show me what I’d lose if I stepped out of line, but despite the binding, the demeaning work and humans like Dane Clyde, I’d known freedom for the first time.

Coming here had reminded me of all the reasons I hadn’t regretted giving up this life. Kaspar’s proposal wasn’t freedom. It was another pretty cage. And Jack—

Hurt shone in his emerald eyes, and it lanced through me. He masked it with fury. But I knew that trick. I wrapped my arms around myself, running my fingers over the goosebumps sprouting over my skin, and my stomach sank. I didn’t owe him anything, so why did it sting knowing I’d caused his pain?

“Sav.”

I shuddered, spinning around to face Hazel. I had forgotten she was there. “My sister will expect me at the ball. I need to get ready. You’re not required to attend. It would probably be better if you didn’t.”

She searched my face, but didn’t move to comfort me. She knew me better than that. “I have a few things to attend to on behalf of my court, but I’m happy to come for you. Say the word.”

I shook my head, letting my arms fall to my sides. “No. I can handle one night in my own court. Find me in the morning.”

Hazel nodded. “He’ll get over it.”

A twinge of panic ran up my spine, but I bit down hard on the emotion, schooling my features. “He’s not my problem.”

Hazel’s green eyes narrowed at the edges, but she said nothing, nodding again. “If you need me, you know where I’m staying.”

When she was gone, I scanned the bare room, noting the slight discoloration where frames had once hung on the walls. Not seeing my parents’ faces had been a relief—but the bare walls only reminded me this would never be my home again.

Another of Sage’s fawns I didn’t recognize helped me dress, pulling my corset tight.

How had I not noticed before that all the folk I was closest to were gone now?

Creig had left for his own reasons, but Primrose and Daffodil?

Rosemary? All the folk I’d grown close to over the many decades at court were missing.

Since I had been back, not one friendly face had graced my door frame.

True, most were likely avoiding me for fear of retaliation.

My sister could call it a respite all she liked, but everyone knew what happened to me three years ago.

I didn’t blame them, but I’d expected Rosemary to dress me at least. She had been my attendant for nearly five decades.

The fawn carefully arranging my hair into soft finger curls was a stranger.

She stepped back, the clack of her hooves the only sound in my room. “Will there be anything else, Lady?”

I shook my head, unable to meet her eyes. I couldn’t stand the pity in them.

When she left, I glanced down at the glimmering jewels Sage had laid out for me.

She wanted me to play the part of a dutiful sister.

Sparkle and shine. Let them look. Let them touch.

Queasiness settled in my stomach. A betrothal to a prince wouldn’t save me from my family’s scheming.

Even the protection he would afford our court wasn’t enough to keep their expectations at bay.

I glared at the jewels. Nothing but a glittering leash.

My mind snapped to the night I finally told them no. The night I chose myself. I’d thought nothing could hurt more than their disappointment.

I was wrong.

The binding was agony—soul-deep and skin-tight. I wouldn’t wish it on an enemy. Phantom pain ghosted over my skin all the places where the bindings still sat, invisible, but no less suffocating.

My gaze darted to something moving at the edge of my window. I stepped to the glass. Moonlight silvered the garden, and in the tulips, a pair of black ears twitched.

I almost smiled—until he looked up.

Too-bright eyes met mine. Not a creature. A spy.

“Shapeshifter,” I hissed, yanking the curtain shut. My fists clenched. Even here, my sister’s eyes were everywhere.

A soft melody drifted down the hall, beckoning all to join the revel.

It was so familiar, like slipping on an old coat.

I glanced back at the jewels again. I itched to throw them into a bin and show my sister I was not her puppet, but I needed her army and until I had it, I would have to play along.

I slipped the mask I’d learned to wear over centuries of Briar manipulation on, securing it as one would a broach and prepared for a ball in my sister’s court, leaving the jewels behind.

I scanned the long table, searching for a lighter shade of henbane wine to take the edge off. Nothing strong enough to dull my senses, just enough to get through the night. Voices rose and fell around me, some in merriment, some in low deceit.

The Lords spoke freely of their latest conquests to one another and the hairs on the back of my neck prickled when a group turned their attention to me.

“I heard she’s stuck in human form until the prince has her wedded and bedded.”

“Perhaps even then he’ll keep her magic bound.”

“Too wild for her own good.”

“Someone should have broken her a long time ago.”

Changing my mind, I kept my back to them, reaching for a dark glass and knocked it back. I needed a strong drink to get through this night. I grabbed another glass and left the table, skirting the edge of the ballroom until I found a tangle of vines against the wall and leaned into them.

Taking small sips, my gaze trailed the mob of partygoers, many of whom were already glassy eyed and swaying. Females and males moved with the music, sipping from their glasses and laughing.

Unlike in Winter, none of the low court fae were present here.

Only the orc army and their general attended court functions and even they didn’t hold positions of power.

Autumn held many of our rigid traditions, separating the high fae from the low and none of their low court fae held any positions of importance. Only Summer was a mystery to me.

“Would you care to dance, Lady Briar?”

Ice shot down my spine and I bumped the vines at my back, moving to get away from that voice. I looked up, meeting vile amethyst eyes, and wine sloshed over the side of my cup as my fingers began to tremble. I swallowed, trying to find the words to speak. To scream at him, but none came.

Lord Banyan held out a hand, and I flinched back.

His saccharine smile quirked higher on his lips and bile rose in my throat at the memory of those lips on my body. He leaned toward me and I found my voice.

“No.”

“Come now, Lady. Fae are watching. Don’t make a scene.”

I tore my eyes from his, spying several creatures eyeing us curiously. Lord Banyan was a well-respected member of this court and once, he’d been my potential suitor. My family never let me forget the shame I brought to our name when he declined the proposal.

I glanced down at his outstretched hand and another memory shot into my mind. His hands wrapped around my throat as he held me in place, grip too strong for a young fae to fight. You’re not that girl anymore, I told myself, straightening my spine.

I exhaled through my nose—tipped the wine glass to my lips, swallowing it down—and grabbed his hand, nails digging into his meaty palm as I led him to the dance floor.

His arm went taut as he snapped me back, and a muscle ticked in his jaw.

Sweat tickled the nape of my neck at the memory of what happened when someone displeased Lord Banyan and I let him move in front of me, tugging me onto the dance floor. He wrapped a hand around my back, and only sheer will kept me from jerking out of his hold.

As with all fae balls, the music never truly began or ended. When the beat caught us in its sway, he pulled me into the dance and we were carried along its current.

He leaned toward me, hot, too-sweet breath brushing against my cheek. “I hear congratulations are in order.”

I ignored him, vision blurring as the second glass of wine hit me and the music carried my feet as my mind drifted to another place. A place I hadn’t needed to go in years. My safe place. There, my body was a vessel, and I existed apart from it.

When his palm slid lower, tightening in a possessive hold, I didn’t feel it. I was in a forest, head tipped back as rain tickled my face and bare skin. Those weren’t hands pawing at me, they were the caresses of nature. The wind, whipping over my body, the rain trailing over exposed flesh.

Lord Banyan had said something else, but I wasn’t listening.

The song swelled, moving into a rhythm, one that was slower, and I was jarred into the present when his body pressed into mine and his arousal became evident.

I lost my step and stumbled back, but his grip was bruising as he held me against him, grinding against my stomach. I gagged and yanked my hand from his.

“Don’t embarrass me, or you’ll pay for it later,” he whispered against my ear, and try as I might to retreat back to my safe place, the room spun at a dizzying pace.

“Let her go,” a voice I hardly recognized said, as Lord Banyan’s arm was wrenched from around my waist and Jack stopped us in the middle of our dance.

Dressed in a cobalt suit, hair pulled back to expose his strong jawline and almost a head taller than Lord Banyan, he looked intimidating. But all my earlier fears about his weakness after being injured rushed in when Lord Banyan shoved Jack off the dance floor, causing him to slide several feet.

Banyan grabbed my wrist, yanking me toward him, but Jack was back, so close the heat of his rage radiated off him. “Get your hands off her.”

Lord Banyan’s eyes flashed with pure malice, but he glanced around the room at the other dancers, most of whom had stopped to watch, and he marched away, not glancing back at either of us.

Jack’s cheeks were a dark shade of red, shoulders rigid, and he looked ready to kill someone. But in an instant, his gaze shifted to me and everything softened.

“You shouldn’t be here,” I breathed. Some of the terror thawing in his presence.

He searched my face for a long time. Long enough that I felt everyone’s gazes on us and tugged him into a dance. We had made a scene. The only thing to do now was try to be forgotten.

The music washed over us, and to my surprise, Jack was carried with it, moving as if he was born of Faerie. We spun, eyes locked and slowly, the ice melted from my veins, my stomach settling.

With each circle around the floor, my steps grew lighter.

The sour taste in my mouth dissipated and my breath came easier.

I was aware of how close we were, but his arm on my waist didn’t feel suffocating.

It was a warm embrace. The heat from his body didn’t overwhelm or terrify me. It was safe and warm.

I looked up into eyes that were already on me and my chest swelled. “You’re injured. You shouldn’t overexert yourself.”

“Mother Mahonia arrived less than an hour ago.” A dimple appeared in Jack’s cheek, all the darkness I’d seen in him gone. “I’m good as new.”

My heart thrummed in my chest as my gaze traced the outline of his lips as they moved. Calloused fingers drew a slow circle on my lower back, sending tingles down my spine. His touch was soothing, erasing the phantom marks burned into my skin where Banyan had dug his nails in.

On our next spin around the dance floor, my breath caught in my throat as Jack pressed closer, and every part of me came alive with his nearness. We were the only two in the room and nothing and no one else mattered. For this moment, it was just us.

A commotion on the other side of the ballroom dragged my gaze from Jack’s and my hand slipped from his as the spring court general and a dozen of his soldiers marched in.

Fear shot through me and my gaze shifted from them to Jack. I grabbed his hand, dragging him toward an exit.

“Halt, Lady Briar, or we will be forced to shoot.”

I froze, ice sliding down my spine, and dropped Jack’s hand as if it were on fire. Slowly, I turned, facing Raine. “What is this about, General?”

Raine lifted a thick ebony brow and motioned to his soldiers. Two of them charged forward, wrapping their arms around Jack’s. His gaze narrowed, but wisely he didn’t fight.

“The Princess has requested an audience with you both in her chambers.”

I swallowed. “What does she need the emissary’s pet for? Surely she only wants to see me.” I glanced around, wishing Hazel had come after all.

Raine closed the distance between us, and fae scattered to get out of his way. He stood a full head above most creatures. Only his soldiers—and Jack—were close to his height. He leaned down, a whisper sliding between green, scarred lips. “Trying to make me spill family secrets, Lady?”

Jack struggled in his captors’ hold, a low growl erupting from his chest. I gave him a warning look and turned my gaze to Raine, smiling—all teeth. Raine didn’t frighten me. He never had. He was more afraid of my sister than any self-respecting male ought to be. “One can dream.”

He barked a laugh, long canines on display. “Let’s go,”

The crowd parted as we were marched from the ballroom, every eye on us.