Page 4 of Whips and Chains (Saint View Murder Squad #2)

VIOLET

I wrapped my arms around Levi’s neck and pressed my face into his skin, inhaling his scent.

He was warm around my achingly cold body.

I was sure it wasn’t just the cool night sending goosebumps across my flesh.

I’d never felt a chill like the one that had set in deep, spreading through every bone and muscle and joint until it was all I could feel, all I could think about.

Everything hurt. My head. My lungs. My stomach.

The only way the pain could escape was through my mouth in screams and wails of terror and despair.

It didn’t matter if I closed my eyes. I could still see Dickson’s body falling headless from the window. I could still hear the psychopath’s countdown. Could still smell Toby’s blood, pouring from his neck.

I sobbed in Levi’s arms, feeling rushing through me once more. I didn’t want it. Numb was so much better, but there was no stopping it. His warmth pervaded every inch of my body, and then he was walking me into the shower, holding me beneath the spray.

I blinked, catching sight of X hovering, his concern painted all over his stupidly handsome face, and that’s when I knew how rough I must look.

Because X had never shown any real concern before.

Whip leaned on the doorframe, an identical expression of worry drawing his brow into lines.

I wanted to reach out and smooth it away, reassure him he didn’t need to worry about me because I had always been able to take care of myself.

Except I hadn’t. Because I’d always had Toby.

And now I didn’t.

I couldn’t stop the full-body shakes or the gut-wrenching pain that felt like it was going to rip me in two. Every drop of water felt like a knife spearing through my frozen skin, and yet I didn’t want it to stop.

“We should give her some privacy,” Whip murmured to X.

He nodded, and the two of them went to leave.

But I didn’t want privacy. I didn’t want to be alone. And if they left, then Levi might too.

And then I’d have no one.

I couldn’t bear the thought.

“Don’t go. Please don’t go.”

Both men froze. They exchanged looks with Levi over my head, but both of them came back into the tiny bathroom, barely big enough for all four of us.

Levi’s voice grumbled through his chest. “X, help me get her underwear off. I don’t want to put her down, but I can’t wash her like this.”

I didn’t want him to put me down either. For once, I wasn’t concerned with how heavy he must think I was. He didn’t act like my weight bothered him at all. But with my head on his chest, his heart beating steadily beneath my ear, it was as close to comfort as I’d felt.

X caught my eye. “Is that okay?”

He’d run out of this room just days before. We’d gone from making out, his fingers around my neck, his lips on my skin, cock so damn close to taking my virginity…to him gone and me left wondering what I’d done wrong.

But it almost felt trivial now, especially when every ounce of his attention was solely on me, and his expression was racked with guilt and remorse.

We needed to talk, but I didn’t have it in me tonight.

Tonight, all I could do was keep breathing long enough to make it through the pain threatening to drag me under.

I couldn’t give a shit who saw me naked. Two of these men already had anyway, and the one holding me had held my heart for a year.

I’d never felt safe to share my body with anyone, always covering up at the beach and pools, saying I didn’t feel like swimming because I didn’t want people staring at the fat chick.

I’d heard too many beached whale comparisons throughout my younger years to ever want to swim or get changed in public ever again.

And yet with these three men, I was safe.

No matter what had happened between us, at my core, that was the one thing I now knew with complete certainty.

I gave X the tiniest of nods. “Yes.”

He pushed the shower curtain aside, water splashing out on the tiled bathroom floor and splattering on his clothes. If he noticed, he didn’t show it. He just ran his hands beneath the hot water, warming his skin up, then found the clasp on the back of my bra and undid it.

Levi leaned back against the shower wall, facing X, giving him as much room as he could. I was squished between them, a limp noodle, my body—or maybe my mind—too broken to be of any real help.

But X didn’t need it. He drew my bra straps down my arms, Levi shifting me so X could get it fully off. My underwear came next, another complicated maneuver due to the way Levi was holding me, but he refused to put me down, and X just worked with it.

I should have felt vulnerable, but I didn’t. I couldn’t. Not when I was surrounded by the three of them, and the only thing in their expressions was a desire to help and take care of me.

Whip watched silently from the doorway, and X grabbed my bodywash from the caddy hanging from the showerhead. He squirted a generous dollop onto his palm and rubbed them together, lathering the soap up into frothy bubbles.

His gaze caught mine once more, and he checked I was still okay with all of this. My heart squeezed.

His palms on my skin were heaven. He slid them up and down my arms, chasing away the goosebumped flesh and leaving something warmer in his wake. He soaped up my legs and then ran his hands across my collarbones.

“I gotta put you down, baby,” Levi whispered to me. “We gotta get you clean. You’re covered in blood.”

It was only then I realized the frothy bodywash was no longer white and the suds washing down the drain were tinged with a deep pink.

Dickson’s blood.

Toby’s blood.

I needed it off me.

I scrambled to get down, and Levi helped me stand. But it was all I could do. I leaned on the wall, barely able to hold myself up, the sight of all that blood running down the drain too much for my brain to comprehend.

The violent body shakes were back, along with the movie reel that replayed the night over and over in my head.

I closed my eyes, willing the images away, but they were burned there at the backs of my eyelids.

The only distraction X’s and Levi’s hands running all over my body.

Levi’s fingers brushed over my nipples. There was nothing sexual in the touch, and yet my body responded like it was. X’s hands ran down my spine and over my ass, Levi’s fingers swept over the bare mound of my pussy.

X soaped up my hair, and I tilted my head back, falling into his strong fingers massaging away the tension headache that pounded behind my eyes and in my temples.

It was over all too quickly, the water running cold, and X reaching behind him to shut it off.

“Step out, baby,” Levi urged quietly. “Whip’s gonna get you dry.”

It was ridiculous that I needed him to tell me everything I had to do when I’d been taking showers my entire life without his assistance just fine.

And yet now, I didn’t seem to be able to think at all.

I just waited for one of them to tell me what to do next and was grateful they were there to do it.

Because without them, I suspected I wouldn’t be functioning at all. I’d still be back in that warehouse, sitting in a pool of blood.

Whip wrapped me in a towel and used another to rub the long lengths of my hair until they no longer dripped down my back. His fingers cupped one side of my face, tilting it up so he could look down at me. “How you doing, sweetheart? We’re going to get you into bed, okay?”

All I could do was nod and let him guide me out of the steamed-up bathroom.

He’d switched the lamps and the fairy lights on in my bedroom, turning the space into the cozy den I loved. He sat me on the edge of the bed and blow-dried my hair, running a comb through the long lengths as he went, detangling it gently and carefully.

Whip brushing and drying my hair with such tenderness nearly did me in.

The warm heat coasted down the back of my neck and across my shoulders, and I closed my eyes, relishing a touch I couldn’t remember ever experiencing before.

I never had this done when I went to get my hair cut.

It was an extra expense I could never afford.

I was sure someone must have brushed my hair when I was tiny, but I’d gone into care at four and I couldn’t remember a foster parent ever doing this for me. I’d been on my own.

And now, suddenly, I wasn’t.

When my hair was soft and smooth, Whip turned the dryer off, setting it down on the bedside table.

I glanced up at him. “Where did you learn how to do that?”

Something flickered in his expression, but he didn’t answer. Just drew back the covers. “Get into bed, sweetheart.”

I stood, and he unwrapped me from the damp towel. His gaze didn’t lower to take in my naked body, he just urged me to get beneath the blankets.

I sank down onto the mattress, letting the softness of the sheets and pillows engulf me.

He tucked me in. “You should try to sleep. Don’t worry about anything. We’re taking care of it.”

He went to leave, but without any conscious thought, I grabbed his arm. “Stay with me.”

He didn’t hesitate. Just pulled off his shirt and toed off his shoes.

His jeans were next, and then his underwear.

He barked out orders to the others as he slid beneath the covers with me.

“Ace is on his way over here to take away the clothes and deal with my car. Everything has to go with him. He’s bringing fresh clothes for all of us too. ”

From the corner of my eye, I caught sight of Levi and X hovering outside the bathroom, both of them out of their wet clothes and wrapped in spare towels. Their bloodied clothes, along with mine, in their arms.

Levi scooped up Whip’s clothes and added them to the pile in his arms. “Got it. We’ll wait for him in the living room.”

Panic swept through me at the thought of them even going as far as the living room. It squeezed tight around my throat, and my heart sped up to a pace that had me gasping for breath. “Don’t go. Please don’t leave me.”